still listens to gangnam style unironically. Big Brother stan. kerrygold lover.
New Jersey, USA
- Tweets 48,581
- Following 853
- Followers 5,505
- Likes 129,860
Pinned Tweet
guys who wore white tuxes to prom are finishing their probation sentences this year
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break up with your girlfriend she’s cheating on you every Thursday in the projection room above the auditorium with Shane Oman
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what I see in the corner of my room when i wake up with sleep paralysis #bachelorinparadise
the bitchelorette
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it’s giving Macy’s prom
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The Bachelor’s (we all know it’s Peter) girls.
A thread:
#thebachelor #bachelorinparadise
Alayah B (San Antonio, TX
- Fashion Nova loyalist
- “I’m not here to make friends”
- asscheeks are widely available on her ig
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wait the PRODUCERS knew your EX BF was Chase Rice!? And they set us up on a date with HIM singing?! #thebachelor
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Hannah B’s men: a thread #thebachelorette
Ben G. (30) Charlotte, NC
- weenie
- loves old navy denim
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Lucia when some sad lil rich boi wires her 50k #whitelotus #TheWhiteLotus
The Memes Archive
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“seriously guys, what the fuck. only 15 of you showed up to the party with Kappa Sig on Friday. we looked like a fucking joke. what’s the point of even having mixers if you don’t go? should I just cancel the rest of the semester?”-your enraged sorority social #TheBachelor
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showing off my quarantine depression crafts over FaceTime to my very concerned family #thebachelorette
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Bennett not knowing how to use the question function on ig stories and submitting his own question is peak Bennett behavior. omg.
#TheBachelor #thebachelorette
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These girls are so jealous of the way America loves Katie and it’s hysterical #thebachelor
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Connor S. (24) Dallas, TX
- momma’s boy
- looks like someone I would’ve tried to make out with in college but wouldn’t wanna make out with me
- fraternity philanthropy chair
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if you pronounce “espresso” as “expresso” then you don’t need to worry about Biden’s tax plan
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Apple picking with Mickinleigh, Tinslayeigh, AddisonnLeigh, CaucasiAnn, Anteigh-Vaxxtyon, Payzleigh, Leighleigh, Peighyton, Mississippeigh, and Jessica.. god is good💞🍎🍂
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please pray for my uncle. he was filming himself doing the milk crate challenge and sprained his ankle. 1 like = 1 prayer 🙏🏼😔 hoping for a speedy recovery!
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Imagine you get tickets to Fallon and you’re so hyped to see who the celebrity guest is and it’s the fucking Costco guys and an 8 year old kid who goes by “The Rizzler”
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the whole “I suffered so everyone else must suffer too” mentality regarding student loans is so ugly
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it is quite ironic that Victoria F can’t handle sharing Peter with a bunch of women considering she’s been sharing other women’s husbands #thebachelor
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if this gets 500 likes i’ll get “girlboss” tattooed as a tramp stamp in the rae dunn font.
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if Instagram is getting rid of likes before I get engaged then what’s the fucking point of getting married
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Who the hell is Ed and why does he look like he just downed three Irish car bombs #thebachelorette
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middle aged white women in Iowa when they see Chris Harrison replaced for the night #TheBachelor
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I’m crying at the pic that comes up when you google @chrissyteigen mom. (I wanted to see her real name don’t judge)
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Joe B. (30) Chicago, IL
- that creepy dude who you use for free bottle service
- calls himself an adventurer and by that he means loves spicy food
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Zac Brown writing Chicken Fried: what if we slipped a tribute to the troops in there
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white women when a new Stanley color drops nitter.app/rodDiazTwine/status/17…
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My dads are in their 30s, pursuing modeling careers, and I’ve never seen them happier. They told me they’re just waiting for a chance to blow up. So, Twitter, meet my dads.
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okay Colton is gay but I still haven’t forgiven him for putting a tracking device on Cassie’s car so
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you wanna talk “moments that altered your brain chemistry?” let’s start with reading The Clique and Gossip Girl books at the ripe age of 11. those books awakened the materialistic side in me that didn’t exist yet. massie’s glossip girl subscription??? blair’s manolos?!
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Hannah Ann (Knoxville, TN)
- Caelynn’s veneers walked so Hannah Ann’s could run
- “bless your heart sweetie”
- fakest girl you’ve ever met
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Mykenna D. (Canada)
- uses her intelligence to insult you without you even realizing
- gonna dominate Peter
- ruined a girl’s life in college because they hooked up with her boyfriend in sigma chi
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Every time they mention the La Quinta I’m still picturing the rose ceremonies happening here #thebachelorette
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Chasen C. (27) Longview, WA
- finance bro
- does coke in the bathroom at bars
- his name is Chasen???
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Stop casting 21 year olds for The Bachelor!! At 21 I was trying to catch an invite to the fraternity open bar (which, btw, didn’t happen), maintaining a below average GPA, and scraping $10 together to buy a bottle of citrus Burnett’s once a week. Not quite marriage material.
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the homie recording @DCheverere trying to grab rim in 2030 @circlingbackpod
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Savanah M. (Houston, TX)
- wreck em!
- Texas Tech cheer is life
- first impression rose bby
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Peter W. (27) Westlake Village, CA
- dweeb
- told the teacher she forgot to collect the homework
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Clare Crawley’s men for #thebachelorette.
#TheBachelor
A thread:
Aaron G., 33, Fort Lauderdale
- minor league baseball pitcher
- not a bad guy but has some skeletons in his closet (a DWI)
- only drinks Bud Light aluminum bottles
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start an onlyfans
US government will run out of money by October 18, Treasury secretary says cnn.it/2ZuTmtY
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remember when the ultimate sign of flirting was a guy asking if you’d be his pong partner ..... those were simpler times
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Huge congrats to TFM’s own @DCheverere on being cast for Clare Crowley’s season of The Bachelorette!
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Tyler C. (26) Jupiter, FL
- college lax recruit
- called you a slut for wearing a shirt dress to formal
- “babe I swear nothing happened with Jess we just talked”
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Devin H. (27) Sherman Oaks, CA
- has sold or currently sells marijuana
- is gonna longboard night one
- I feel like he worked at a pizza place
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Avonlea (Fort Worth, TX)
- hide your dads
- top earner on Seeking Arrangement
- Paradise awaits her arrival
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can someone remind me why Tayshia wasn’t chosen as the bachelorette from the beginning????? we wasted 3 weeks on Clare for what?? #thebachelorette
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if you or a loved one have been affected by unfair Christmas tree ratings, you may be entitled to financial compensation.
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can’t stress how pissed i would be if i were in this car
James Corden, Camila Cabello, Billy Porter and Idina Menzel stopped traffic in LA for a flash mob with a cover of Jennifer Lopez’s “Let’s Get Loud” to promote #CinderellaMovie
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Me: mind if I bring my friend tonight?
Them: yea, are they chill? we don’t want weird vibes.
The friend:
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if I asked my parents to bring me Starbucks while I was in high school they’d tell me to go fuck myself
Things I have heard from people I know who are teachers:
-Parents drop their kids off late and say it's "just when they could get going"
-Kids text their parents drink orders and the parents deliver them to the school secretary DURING THE DAY
-Kids can't sit even through movies
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Jasmine N. (Houston, TX)
- psychologist or something pretentious
- got this 2009 dress from the BCBG outlet
- I have high hopes for her
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***#whitelotus SPOILER***
Shane:
— belittles the hotel manager
— complains about the ocean view suite
— brings his mom on the honeymoon
— slams his fists at the dinner table
— ruins your honeymoon
— accidentally fatally stabs the hotel manager
Rachel: 🥰 I’m happy 😌
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