I am Max: NYT bestselling author, artist, and animator. Lance Corporal of the Marine Corps.
Bay Area, CA
- Tweets 40,560
- Following 571
- Followers 36,575
- Likes 6,507
The idea that going against the grain in itself is a virtue is very flawed. If 9 out of 10 people agree drinking bleach is bad, you’re not a free thinker by drinking bleach, you’re a fucking dumbass.
1,493
7,728
103,147
4,060,038
Instead of $9,000 “alpha male bootcamp” did you know you can actually get paid to go to bootcamp lmao
628
3,788
61,466
1,577,794
An authoritarian police state on the brink of a civil war with the worst unemployment since the Great Depression being ravaged by a viral pandemic is kind of what everyone was afraid of about with electing Trump, but none of us actually thought would happen
110
4,268
20,259
Great photo op but this is literally just going to be Marines sitting around eating MRE's in the field and wondering what they're actually supposed to be doing. This is not the job of Marines.
The US Marine Corps Is On The Border Assisting CBP With The Mission To Secure America
Promise Made --> Promise KEPT!
899
831
13,499
829,872
Nothing like a global crisis to bring out peoples true colors. There’s no excuse for the flagrant racism that Asian people have experienced in this pandemic. I don’t care where or when this guy served, he’s a piece of shit.
924
1,673
9,595
The Marine Corps will have no confirmed commandant for the first time ever because a dumbass republican senator is blocking the nomination.
military.com/daily-news/2023…
378
2,132
6,093
549,235
Everyone acts like they hate Cheesecake Factory on the internet, but that place is packed every night with a 90 minute wait. Some of y'all are lying. 💅
66
305
3,825
If you're a veteran and your allegiance is to an enemy of the United States of America, you should have your veteran benefits stripped.
40
1,553
3,019
Absolutely every person in America should be outraged that the police sat around for 45 minutes while children were being slaughtered. If the “good guy with a gun” isn’t going to do shit, people need to stop pretending that’s a valid solution to anything.
51
412
2,534
I'd say the biggest disparity between then and now is seeing the budget onscreen. Big budget movies back then felt bigger than they do today.
4
21
2,648
133,159
The VP picks are a Sergeant Major (National Guard) and a Corporal (USMC) so I expect the VP debate is going to be fucking lit lmao
150
133
2,299
170,992
What is happening at the US Capitol right now is a disgrace to this country and fuck you if you support this domestic terrorism.
29
575
2,240
So there's a lot of misinformation flying around about both VP candidates and their military records. I'm going to try to break them down here for those of you not familiar with how military service works. (I am a Marine veteran myself)
51
263
2,118
339,720
It is against federal law to build a Trader Joe’s without giving it the shittiest parking lot of all time
95
124
1,823
Without being petty, both of these individuals were honorably discharged and did what was asked of them. I hope this clears things up a little bit for people parsing through this dumpster-fire website for information.
38
68
1,790
34,383
Seeing a lot of "you're a pussy if you get the COVID vaccine" responses today. Weird take since it's obviously the total opposite.
Who is the bigger pussy?
The person willing to try a hastily tested vaccine for the betterment of mankind?
...Or the person that's scared of it?
59
175
1,694
I think Justin Bieber is an easy target to hate for boomers and shit, but I really think his life is probably one of the most interesting stories of all time. He became extremely famous and wealthy very young, I find the whole thing really intriguing.
37
558
1,905
“Alpha male bootcamp” is big “I would have joined the Marine Corps but I would’ve punched my drill instructor in the face” energy
31
159
1,805
46,579
It's okay to admit that Trump was an insane shit show and Biden has completely fucked up this withdrawal from Afghanistan. Partisan hackery need not apply.
50
273
1,770
I fundamentally don’t understand why these neckbeard LARPers are running around in military gear with weapons to protest coronavirus
203
241
1,534
Please welcome to the world Theodore Uriarte, born last night at 10:07 to me and @rachael_uriarte
152
13
1,597
Conservatives that never served a day in their life go 5 minutes without complaining about the US military challenge: impossible
60
99
1,604
121,583
I’m sorry but I’m not going to prison to send my kid to a good college if he’s a dumb ass. If he’s a dumb ass I’m sending him to the Marine Corps.
45
239
1,583
In all fairness to JD Vance, find me one US Marine that hasn’t fucked at least 1 inanimate object.
I’ll wait.
80
101
1,591
105,697
Like I’m going to believe anyone in the Air Force is eating MRE’s for literally any meal
31
387
1,591
Reenlisting at 36 is literally a nightmare I've had multiple times.
#MedalofHonor recipient @Dakota_Meyer reenlisted today in a ceremony hosted by @SecDef, and attended by @USMCSgtMaj, and @DNIGabbard in the Hall of Heroes at the Pentagon.
By returning to service, Sgt. Meyer is the only living Medal of Honor recipient currently serving in the United States Marine Corps.
107
67
1,737
101,274
True story: when I was a teenager playing SOCOM online on PS2, I joined a clan and everyone had “USMC” in their handles. I asked them what university that was and they all laughed.
41
36
1,757
45,433
I know some people think I overreacted to this and even I was frustrated seeing this story pop up again, but I’ll tell you something: while I still get hundreds of pictures and videos of Marines doing dumb shit every day, not one of them has been racist or antisemitic since.
Marine who sent Nazi imagery to 'Terminal Lance' creator gets busted down to private taskandpurpose.com/boot-swas… via @JeffSchogol
74
161
1,449
As a guy who’s had grown-ass sweaty men scream in his face for wearing a hat inside, being required to wear a face mask at Trader Joe’s really isn’t a big deal
17
230
1,451
It is with great sorrow that I have to say goodbye to dog Charlie. I got him when I was 21 years old in Hawaii and he's been by my side ever since. At nearly 16 years old, he gave me everything he had, and he simply had nothing left to give.
Rest in peace, Charlie.
2008-2024
118
20
1,400
58,943
Sure Game of Thrones is cool, but what if I told you there was a movie where Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey saved the world from a dragon apocalypse 17 years ago?
41
164
1,474
These protesters have it all wrong. All you have to do is be white, armed, dress like value menu SpecOps, and the police will basically let you do fucking anything
149
271
1,195
The amount of ass-hurt vet bros mad that I posted a Black Panther tribute last night is not even a tiny bit surprising
34
59
1,270
I think it's important to know that the right wing does not have a monopoly on patriotism, service, veterans, or what it means to be an American.
35
207
1,264
Military veterans do not have a monopoly on PTSD. It’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, not Post Traumatic Veteran Disorder.
22
195
1,228
The main accusation against Walz is that he "abandoned" his unit by retiring before they went to Iraq. As a Marine who deployed to Iraq twice myself, I find this dubious at best. The guy was well-past his retirement by that point.
17
85
1,151
45,145
How the fuck has wearing a mask turned into a partisan political thing? It’s an upper respiratory viral pandemic you dipshits it’s common sense to wear a fucking mask
46
211
1,198
For the record I also don’t care how many bearded vet bros with 3 followers slide into my DM’s to call me antisemetic names or a puss or whatever. Understand I have a zero tolerance policy on Nazi shit. If you have a problem with that, I encourage you to fuck yourself.
37
77
1,185
Marines would be really upset about all the shit Trump has said about the troops if they knew how to read
48
159
1,194
Most of the Marines enlisting today were not alive during 9/11 in 2001, which was an event that defined my entire generation and wars that followed. We've said never forget for 19 years, but maybe now it's time to start teaching to never repeat our mistakes.
13
206
1,234
Honey you don’t understand, I need tactical baby gear because I am terribly insecure about my masculinity
371
82
1,168
394,446
Every time literally anything changes in the Marine Corps:
Marines: ok whatever
Veterans (who are 100% unaffected): THIS IS AN OUTRAGE THE END OF THE CORPS WAY TOO PC NOW AINT MY CORPS
23
132
1,174
I was stationed at Al-Asad air base in 2009 during my second deployment to Iraq. It’s huge and sprawling. Wishing all of our service men and women safety.
25
145
1,231
SO HE’S NAMED SOLID SNAKE AND HE’S ONE OF THREE CLONES THAT WERE MADE IN THE LES ENFANT TERRIBLES PROJECT. LIQUID IS BRITISH AND SOLIDUS USED TO BE PRESIDENT BUT NOW—
19
265
1,222
The #TransMilitaryBan is done for no other reason than to appease ignorance in the name of military effectiveness. There is no tactical, logical, moral or ethical reason to keep trans people from serving in the military.
63
300
1,119
I've met more Marines in my time than most. I truly believe that no matter what happens, at the end of the day, Marines will do the right thing.
49
159
1,183
My toddler’s daycare asked if any parents were veterans to talk to the 4 year olds about Veterans Day and our service.
Time for one of those Fallujah “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” videos!
45
56
1,141
55,497
As a Marine Iraq war veteran, I just want to say that my status as a Marine Iraq war veteran gives me absolutely no authority or higher insight on what patriotism means to you or anyone else.
14
190
1,074
I’m also a veteran, earned my GI Bill by deploying to Iraq twice with the Marine Corps infantry, but would love to see all Americans have their student debt forgiven because the system is fundamentally broken and I’m not a psychopath.
I grew up in poverty in the mountains of NC. I ate out of a garden, lived in government housing, shopped at yard sales. I joined the Air Force. Earned my GI BILL. I attained 4 degrees and created my own version of the American Dream. I am not responsible for your student debt.
51
139
1,032
Dear south, the confederates fucking lost. Love, the United States.
The top @USMC officer has called for the removal of “all Confederate-related paraphernalia” from the service’s installations. stripes.com/news/us/marines-…
34
166
1,069
PSA: I got my vaccine from the VA, which is offering vaccines to all veterans with no age restrictions. Mega chill, tons of veterans there alongside me getting it. If you’re enrolled in the VA healthcare system, go get your vaccine!
42
210
985
thank fucking god
The US Army has banned the use of the hugely popular short video app TikTok by its soldiers, calling it a security threat. cnn.it/39ttbV5
10
229
1,079
Wife: what is “Libo”
Me: liberty—when Marines are off for the weekend or whatever
Wife: but liberty doesn’t have an O in it
Me: I know...
Wife: Max half the things you say to me don’t make any sense
30
126
1,056
Well, the day I feared has arrived…My baby just took a bite out of a red crayon.
He’s already been contacted by 3 different Marine Corps Recruiters.
23
65
1,000
The Zelensky ambush yesterday in the White House was gross. Ukraine being thrown to the wolves while a bunch of fat chuds in suits mock a man trying to save his country will be on the wrong side of history.
63
89
1,128
30,231
Absolutely heartbreaking news out of Afghanistan today. My heart goes out to the families of all the Marines and other service members killed today.
8
278
1,023
When I was enlisted in 2006-2010 it was actually considered criminal to be gay in the military. Dumb fucking people were convinced that repealing don’t ask don’t tell would destroy the military. In 2019 seeing this dumb shit makes me really happy.
18
113
946
Mattis denounces Trump and calls out his presidency as the shit show it is theatlantic.com/politics/arc…
31
276
933
Good. Eat shit.
11
105
919
I took both of these photos of Tyler Cone and Daniel Cameron in Iraq in 2007. Both of them are no longer with us today. I like to think that they’re standing post together today in heaven, cursing the day they enlisted. #MemorialDay
15
184
947
I dunno what a CPAC is but if I have to guess from this video it’s basically a convention of people cosplaying as the worst versions of humans
19
33
846
I just want everyone to know that if you went and cleaned shelves of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, lysol wipes, etc., to resell them for dumb profit in the midst of a viral pandemic…
…You are a piece of shit.
nytimes.com/2020/03/14/techn…
27
140
941
The Marine Corps instilled in me the Corps values of Honor, Courage, and a Crippling need to feel busy at all times
20
145
964
The funniest part about the “alpha male bootcamp experience” is that bootcamp is like the least important part of your enlistment after the first year. Once you come back from a deployment, bootcamp stories are considered cringe as hell.
26
50
857
59,464
A Marine reservist that I’ve never met that sends me swastikas is not my people.
Max's Terminal Lance was and remains to be one of the funnier content about the Marine Corps. Sad to see him go down the path of fucking his people over. #BlueFalcon
21
64
860
The Marine Corps taught me that it could always be worse.
Because every day was always worse than the last.
13
263
889
Avatar (2009) does not get praised enough for its realistic portrayal of US Marines. It's literally about a Marine who goes to another planet and fucks an alien.
18
83
849
The military transgender ban introduced by the Trump admin was an arbitrary and backward disgrace. Removing this is the right thing to do to make us a better nation.
32
92
847
tHe InFaNtRy DoEsN’t PrEpArE yOu FoR a CaReEr AfTeR yOu GeT oUt
Yeah it’s called a GI Bill and grunts get it too you dumb fuck
28
77
839
The VA has determined that my tinnitus is not service-connected, because apparently I like to blow shit up next to my ear in my free time
78
77
825
If you believe 5G is giving people coronavirus you are a fucking idiot and I don’t know what else to tell you
25
164
786
Inside Out, but it’s inside a combat veteran’s head and he lost 4 buddies in Afghanistan, he can’t stop drinking, and his wife left him after years of personal failures.
It’s a horror movie.
31
56
844
35,077
True story: while my wife was in labor, I mentioned to her doctor I was a Marine veteran.
She said she’s dating a guy in the Navy, which she said is “similar, but he eats less crayons.”
34
23
819
I’m gonna start my own veteran org but without any initiation, fee, dumb fucking hat, badges or pins, etc. Basically we’re just gonna get together in someone’s basement and play Smash Bros and drink on Thursday nights.
52
62
812
what if there was a movie where the main character was a veteran and he was just a healthy well-rounded person and it never really came up because it wasn't relevant to the plot
45
53
792
I’ve had many white service members tell me racism doesn’t exist in the military, and many more service members of color tell me it surely does.
36
118
770
