Some thoughts on ep 5 of
#Ahsoka. She never got over the fall of Anakin Skywalker. Ahsoka's long carried guilt about not being there for Anakin at the time he was most vulnerable to the darkness. Similar to Obi Wan.
At the beginning of episode 5, “Shadow Warrior,” Ahsoka has lost a duel and been cast into the sea to die. She wakes up in the World Between Worlds. Anakin is waiting for her there. Long dead, her old Jedi Master is softly smiling. He has a lesson for her.
“I’ve come to finish your training,”
“What is the lesson, Master?” Ahsoka answers reluctantly.
“To live. Or die.”
Anakin forces Ahsoka to fight. Then he takes her back into formational memories of the Clone Wars. When she was just a child, like so many others....Ahsoka was forced into becoming a soldier in a brutal civil war.
The Jedi should not have been in this situation of leading armies into battle. But there they were. What would Ahsoka and Anakin make of it?
I’ve felt that way. Surely you have also.
I shouldn’t be here.
This isn’t the way things were supposed to be.
This is all wrong. Not the plan, etc etc.
Yet, here you are regardless.
This is what’s happening. How will you respond?
For Ahsoka, Anakin taught her how to charge forward. In the Clone Wars, it was to charge headlong into battle with your wits about you and your lightsaber ready.
The alternative was to linger behind in fear and be killed. To die in the sands of whatever battlefield you were on. You can debate the ethics of war when you're not actively under fire.
Of course, Ahsoka did have a choice once she was off the battlefield. She could just not be a Jedi. And that was what she eventually chose. But in those moments of *do or die*, you can’t be stuck in the mud of fear, indecision, and doubt. Our world is littered with the bones of good people who couldn’t move forward from behind cover.
We can’t live in the past. Our mistakes, our missteps, our lowest moments…they are not who we are. The act of living itself has unlimited potential to be the redemption we seek. Bowing out or lying down in our tears of regret is just too easy.