πš‚πš”πš’πš— π™Όπšžπšπšπš’πš—πšœ@SkinMuffins

|| It’s not that serious.|| Don’t get comfy here.|| No DMs.||

 United States
nitter.app/search?q=from%3A%…
Joined October 2022
Maybe your baby is crying because it wants a cigarette.
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If I was named Jeff I’d constantly be saying things like β€œjeffinately” and β€œI jeffed up”
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I think instead of kissing at midnight I’m just going to go outside and scream.
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You can like it I won’t tell anyone.
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That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.
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Since it’s the first one of the year…
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Why can’t we just spell it brockly.
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β€œWhat do your tattoos mean?” That I cannot be trusted with $700, Susan. That’s what they mean.
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I just found out that a group of zebras is called a dazzle and I had to tell you.
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She still doesn’t have a name because nothing sounds right.
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The worst part about doing laundry is having to eat the lint from the dryer trap.
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Muffins
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Not my dumpster, not my fire.
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I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.
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What I’m wearing underneath my camo t-shirt.
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Am I the only one who still does dishes by hand like a pilgrim?
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I’d grill your cheese. -me, flirting
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The horrors persist yet I remain so silly.
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Tuesday.
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Craving my grandma’s spaghetti.
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Happy Tuesday to those who celebrate.
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Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.
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You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.
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Tuesday.
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I’m sorry if I seem weird it’s because I am.
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You don’t need fun to have alcohol.
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I’ll only try 147 times. After that we’re done.
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We gonna do this or what?
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This is actually a hamburger helper tweet disguised as a selfie.
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Missionary so I can ask you why you left the empty corn dog box in the freezer.
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Tuesday Schmoozday
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Muffins for breakfast
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Happy Fat Tuesday to those who celebrate.
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It’s 49Β°
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I’m a member of the bare kitty committee.
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What day is it.
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Tuesday coffee on the porch swing.
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It’s all a blur.
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I dunno, man. I never know what to do with my hands.
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Wish you were in me- I mean here with me.
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I need my body cracked like a glow stick.
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Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.
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It’s okay to be a little sad after making the right choice.
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I’d rather be doing something else.
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It’s Tuesday, btw.
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Just me and my itty bitty amount of sleep against the world.
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Waiting for Susan to tell me I’m being trashy on main again.
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πŸ–€&🀍
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duck face
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I’d let you mash my potato.
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Can’t stop thinking about going back to bed.
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No I’m not okay. My stupid nail polish is chipping and my sock feels funny.
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Rumor has it I shower naked.
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My flabbers have been gasted.
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Sorry I didn’t text you back I got high and forgot to.
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πŸ–€&🀍
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Everything I tweet is serious and I hope you take it that way.
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Imagine back in the day being late for work because you’re trying to wake your horse up.
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The face I make when you say something weird in my replies…
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Good morning, Sunshine β˜€οΈ
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I’d get snowed in with you.
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No thank you, ex boyfriend from high school who randomly messaged me on Facebook this morning, I’m good.
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Grocery shopping with my grandma and even though I’m 34 she still insists i pick out ice cream to take home.
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Today is my Friday.
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Boo.
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So glad it’s Friday
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Calm down. I’d never actually offer your baby a cigarette.
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Wtf-ing my way through all of this.
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πŸ–€&🀍
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I caught myself thinking about you today and it pissed me off.
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Fuck all that good morning shit I need some lasagna.
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I can get high off your hand on my thigh.
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I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.
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Just drink your stupid water.
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Take your pants off. I wanna see if I can hear the ocean in your balls.
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Being wanted is a powerful feeling.
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Good morning. I can’t stop showing you my dog.
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If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself my DMs are open.
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Can’t. It’s a school night.
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Let them think you’re dumb.
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He went through my phone and all he found was me low ballin people on marketplace.
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You can like it if you want. I won’t tell anyone.
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When 2 people argue online I think the winner should automatically be the one who spells the most words correctly.
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I need an emergency bacon cheeseburger.
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Not again. I mean good morning.
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