I... Tweet!!!!!!
- Tweets 11,469
- Following 1,589
- Followers 8,139,126
- Likes 44,619
I’ve been tagged by dozens of people saying I look like this dog and I couldn’t be more flattered.
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My work here is done.
Police said the 20-year-old pulled out his wallet and as he searched through it, officers could see the fake Hawaii ID card with the name “McLovin” and a birthdate of June 3, 1981.
wsvn.com/news/us-world/iowa-…
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Billy, how dare you.
My favorite part of The Lion King is @billyeichner and @Sethrogen cropping each other out of their picture with Beyoncé.
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Pineapple Express is back on Netflix. Watch the film the way we intended: on your couch while smoking weed.
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Again, if they’re doing this to old white men ON camera, imagine what the fuck is happening off camera.
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Always be more critical of the people upholding the racist system than the ones who are fighting against it.
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Thank you Stan Lee for making people who feel different realize they are special.
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Once I was in the spa in a hotel in Vegas getting a massage. When I finished I turned over and to my shock Paul Rudd was massaging me. He saw me go in and convinced the masseuse to let him take over, thinking I’d notice immediately. I didn’t, and Paul did the entire rest of it.
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I find that a lot of stupid people hide behind big words and flowery vocabulary, and a lot of smart people aren’t afraid to use basic language to get their ideas across in an easy to understand way. Also I’m stoned on the toilet right now.
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I’m pretty stoned and watching Cats. I’ve never seen the broadway show. It is truly trippy. Am I supposed to know what a Jellicle is? They’ve said it 200,000 times but I don’t know what’s happening haha.
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This isn’t a Twitter “feud.” @tedcruz tried to overthrow our government. He inspired a deadly mob to storm the Capitol. And I think that deserves ridicule. So fuck him.
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Dear god man I’m noticing you! Stop! You don’t have to proceed to the next holes!
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All jokes aside, @tedcruz is a fascist piece of shit.
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The idea that Nazis and people who oppose Nazis are somehow equatable is the most batshit fucking crazy shit I've ever fucking heard.
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Almost ten years I go, I envisioned having my own weed company. And today I can say that my company Houseplant's weed will be available in California next week! Also, Houseplant is making lovely Housegoods like ashtrays, lighters, and YES, even ceramics. houseplant.com
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I’m thinking of doing a podcast just so I can call it “The Seth Rogen Experience”.
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If you're offended by someone saying "cracker", it's a good indicator that you're a motherfucking cracker.
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After five years of hard work, I’m pleased to be launching my cannabis company, Houseplant. Thank you.
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Anyway, if you dig Superbad, thanks for digging it. I wrote it with my best friend in high school and we still write together. It's lovely.
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Sliding in to @DonaldJTrumpJr DMs to remind him his father is a sexual predator like:
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I got name dropped by @NICKIMINAJ in a song so I'M FUCKING GOOD YA'LL.
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If you’re a white supremacist fascist who doesn’t find it offensive when someone calls your wife ugly, Ted Cruz is the exact motherfucker for you.
Charming, civil, educated response. @Sethrogen
If you’re a rich, angry Hollywood celebrity, today’s Dems are the party for you.
If you’re blue-collar, if you’re a union member, if you work in energy or manufacturing...not so much.
#JobsMatter
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I was supposed to do a press tour on @SIRIUSXM on teusday but I'm no longer doing it because I can't bring myself to appear on the same service that has decided to support Steve Bannon. Apologies to the shows I had to cancel. And fuck Steve Bannon.
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Sorry dude, in a meeting.
The hilarious part about @Sethrogen lying about "being in meetings," is that he actually ISN'T in meetings - at all. Think about that.
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The notion that weed is a problematic “drug” is rooted in racism. It’s insane that Team USA would disqualify one of this country’s most talented athletes over thinking that’s rooted in hatred. It’s something they should be ashamed of. Also if weed made you fast, I’d be FloJo.
Sha’Carri Richardson (@itskerrii) joins us live for an exclusive interview to discuss the positive marijuana test that’s put her Olympic future in limbo.
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I’m thrilled to be a part of this cast and to be in a picture with Beyoncé. #TheLionKing is coming!
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I know it’s not 4/20 anymore but I like this picture. When the three of us smoked there was this unspoken thing like “we found each other”.
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Sometimes it’s the night before you launch something that you’ve been working on for ten years and for me that night is now.
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By the way, fuck these nazi motherfuckers. #Charlottesville
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I think @SenTedCruz is desperately trying to rebrand from the “inspired a deadly insurrection” motherfucker to the “left my constituents to freeze to death so I could go to Cancun” motherfucker, but luckily he can be both. He’s just that big a motherfucker.
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I know I haven’t tweeted in a while but I just wanted to let you guys know that I made this vase.
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Haha get fucked fascist. Go encourage a white supremacist insurrection again you fucking clown.
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My entire childhood, I thought the old timey movie that Kevin watches in Home Alone (Angels With Filthy Souls) was actually an old movie.
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You literally inspired a deadly insurrection you stupid fuck.
All jokes aside, @Sethrogen is a moron.
It’s your party that believes in govt power: to shut your business, to oppress your faith & to censor your speech.
Anyone who disagrees, they try to cancel.
BTW, a lot of folks in Hollywood are conservative—& muzzled by the fascist Left.
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I’m happy people are taking this advice, but while you’re at it, don’t put in the filter till AFTER you’ve rolled your joint. It helps pack it in!
Actor @Sethrogen is trying to help stop the spread of COVID by encouraging people to “hang out alone and smoke weed and watch movies” instead of going out.
And a top Canadian elected official is praising the advice.
marijuanamoment.net/seth-rog…
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The older I get, the more I find myself randomly thinking about what uniquely powerful and spectacular talent Chris Farley had.
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Your lies got people killed. You have blood on your hands.
All jokes aside, @Sethrogen is a moron.
It’s your party that believes in govt power: to shut your business, to oppress your faith & to censor your speech.
Anyone who disagrees, they try to cancel.
BTW, a lot of folks in Hollywood are conservative—& muzzled by the fascist Left.
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Yo! @DonaldJTrumpJr! I noticed you follow me on Twitter. Please ask your dad to resign before he destroys the planet. Thanks dude.
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Arrest the cops who killed #BreonnaTaylor
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Watch our show. (I’m still promoting this show after 22 years and I’ll keep promoting that shit!)
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Happy Fathers Day to my dad who will look for any excuse to wear shorts! (This is him at a charity event)
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Me and my wife have recently come to the unsettling realization that @jtimberlake and @JessicaBiel are the better looking version of us.
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I’ve been DMing with @jack about his bizarre need to verify white supremacists on his platform for the last 8 months or so, and after all the exchanges, I’ve reached a conclusion: the dude simply does not seem to give a fuck.
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After I park my car, it takes me about 38 minutes to collect all my shit and actually get out.
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