listen to THE ENGLISH DISEASE / freelance stuff / prev: @footballmanager, @acmomento, @mundialmag, etc / samdissnew@gmail.com
Hackney, London
- Tweets 38,591
- Following 2,641
- Followers 21,146
- Likes 73,384
Pinned Tweet
my new podcast series THE ENGLISH DISEASE is out now, wherever you get that sorta thing.
it's about the legacy of football hooliganism in English society: why people were drawn to it & what happened when we were told they all went away.
prod by @StakPod
open.spotify.com/show/1LPKyc…
1
12
65
37,772
people will die because voters think doing what rich people say will make them rich too.
63
4,423
20,890
Jurassic Park remains a perfect movie: the first hour is all set up, second hour is just dinosaurs attacking children. perfect
35
2,364
15,816
what is your favourite painting? this is mine, The Floor Scrapers by Caillebotte. nearly cried seeing it in Paris, still not sure why i find it so affecting; maybe it’s the light on the tiny balcony
i am feeling very tired and would like to see some paintings you really love
1,870
1,342
13,816
what i don't understand is why nobody behind the camera is like "Matt, mate, can you back up a bit? you look like a man who stands outside the women's toilets in Tiger Tiger"
285
1,516
12,038
if you've ever been dripped on by finsbury park bridge don't worry about what's in the vaccine
48
690
6,297
first England team in my lifetime who have gone out and are Not Cunts. that means something
29
645
5,537
Jenkinson once turned up to one of our Sunday league games in an absolutely rascal gilet and ice white trainers. ball went up in the air and out of play and he shouted "JENKO" from the sideline and trapped it dead. he's an icon.
🤝 Jenkinson joins!
#NFFC are delighted to announce the signing of England international defender @carljenkinson for an undisclosed fee from @Arsenal on a three-year contract.
33
359
4,341
accidentally printed my boarding pass on A3 paper and they look like novelty cheques. it’s become the talk of Gibraltar airport that I looked like I’d just won a postcode lottery when the gates for my flight opened
44
179
3,429
the pettiness of Kendrick dissing Drake and then putting Rihanna on his album featuring on a track called "Loyalty" is extremely great.
27
1,647
3,387
can't believe it's been six years since Danny Dyer couldn't believe it'd been nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers
8
745
2,998
watching skeleton at the Winter Olympics:
[first race] hahaha it’s called “skeleton”!
[seventh race] you see, what the rider needs to be doing is hitting the wall at corner 9 parallel so they can use the pressure to balance out their line into 10
8
605
2,788
actually, Kasper, the 'it' referred to in 'it's coming home' is not a trophy, but more a decentralised feeling of unity, pride, and spiritual wellness, the kind we have needed so dearly, the kind which can only come from folksong shared between like-minds in the stands and (1/66)
24
143
2,655
Idris Elba won't say no to anything, will he? I almost respect it. Just replies "yes" to every email. Doesn't even read them. They send him the postcode and he pops his flat cap on and heads out the door. No messing.
19
175
2,616
*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
yep, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got into this situation
3
1,194
2,382
Huge fan of Bielsa doing a nine hour presentation of mind-numbing tactical minutae to journalists who turned up expecting blood. He’s just like “You are only mad at me because you don’t have the patience to be a spy, so fuck you.” Fair play to him.
8
336
2,370
watching that Madonna and Drake kiss like nitter.app/SamDiss/status/5875306…
18
2,252
2,345
found out that Claudio Pizarro co-owns a race horse called "Crying Lightning" with Joey Barton and can only imagine the state of the 4am session that lead to that decision being made
41
389
2,351
i'm just coming off some broken ribs and i'm excited to immediately rebreak those bones
5
2,224
78,009
that single, perfect curl that always hangs over Federer’s headband is the most important look in modern sporting history
3
290
2,139
i regret to inform you that if u get the Mizuno logo and the Champion logo and put them together, it looks a bit like Batman dabbing. sorry
17
619
2,099
that Gove tweet obviously wasn’t written by him, but makes me shudder to think of the pink faced Tory 25-year-olds that hold the keys to political social accounts on the same phones they message the “Canterbury Mandem!” whatsapp groups full of their school friends
6
115
1,993
haven't been the same since i found out "grab bag" crisps just mean that the bag has more air in them so they're easier to fucking grab
41
132
1,669
Jehovah's Thickness
London is one big office party tonight, bubbling over with men in salmon pink shirts from TM Lewin and Amazon Prime’d Xmas jumpers who’ve spent the past week trying to buy a single gram of coke specially for the occasion.
21
225
1,452
this whole country is off its tits
19
269
1,477
Andy Carroll’s playing style can only be described as “bringing a horse into a packed pub”
31
188
1,410
VAR and this total obsession with rules is what happens when you let nerds watch football. treating offsides like they’re something from dungeons and dragons.
23
162
1,343
217,398
Cristiano Ronaldo is going to find the biggest mirror in Paris and wank himself into an absolute coma
19
797
1,299
I'm actually bang into this. Can't wait until we have it in the Premier League and Graeme Souness tries to mug someone off and they cut to the player and they're just like "shut up, you boring old cunt" and a runner has to book Souey's cab home early nitter.app/MundialMag/status/1024…
13
187
1,214
what are your favourite short-ish books? i’m talking less-than-300 pages, blow-through-it-in-a-weekend whirlwind of a book.
this is the season of really good but easy-to-digest books. i’m after those yakult books.
226
21
1,172
577,126
on the anniversary of 9/11, Tom Junod's The Falling Man: the best magazine story of the last 50 years. esquire.com/news-politics/a4…
4
158
1,191
by far the best squad in world football getting bumped by a team run by granit xhaka and the minecraft messi
17
196
1,189
this tweet is grossly unprofessionally, actually dangerous, and you should probably be sacked. good work
6
47
990
not buying any of the Queen news until we get a sombre 'Here, I'm afraid, we go' off Fabrizio Romano.
10
70
1,116
Jamie Redknapp plumbing the depths of human banality, week after week, year after year, in his suits, just fucking saying things, just saying stuff, the words coming out, an endless stream, and they don’t mean a thing
36
143
982
one of my most basic opinions, sure, but this whole scene is one of the all-timers. an absolute screamer.
everyone rightly talks about the opening - the menacing glass of milk, the shit-eating grin, the floorboards - but this scene is a film unto itself.
10
36
969
this is genuinely the best photo i've ever seen
ALT Photograph: Nathan Stirk/Getty Images
15
117
945
nothing but respect for Diogo Dalot doing seven separate celebrations for his goal: he’s seen his chance and he’s made the most of it.
2
80
966
56,666
i love these BBC Archive flashbacks. here's a bunch of excellent accents bemoaning creeping decimalisation and swapping miles for 'kilimolimetres' on this day in 1978. a lot of "protect wot we fought and nearly died for" sentiment that hasn't changed much
BBC Archive
33
159
793
been home one day and eaten so many carbs my breathing has changed. it just sounds different now. think i might have bread lung
10
48
817
wrote a quick thing about how people who slag off workers online are the absolute worst and can get fucked shortlist.com/news/opinion/d…
67
232
720
real shame to hear about Sean Lock, one of the few comedian's to poke his head above the TV panel show parapet and actually say something funny, interesting, or unexpected. also would sometimes just shout "OH FUCK OFF" instead of coming back w/ a written quip. like a human would.
1
49
790
the way this video escalates from impressive to truly demented has not helped my hangover one single bit
12
54
814
some of the dialogue's been toilet but S8 of Game Of Thrones has been consistently very fun. people pretending they're fucking Robert McKee and going on about satisfying story arcs need to give it a rest, if I'm honest.
13
100
767
We don't make enough of how brilliant watching football live on television is. Football's just the best TV show ever made. The Sopranos, The Wire, all that. Nothing comes close. Nothing touches it. Even when it lulls and frustrates, these transcendent moments are something else.
12
231
771
yesterday i learned that Game Of Thrones creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss wrote the Always Sunny episode Flowers For Charlie
13
135
756
absolutely in awe of Eric Cantona hating Liverpool so much that he'd post a video on Instagram just to rattle United's team and already-confused fanbase, leaving City to smash right through them like a brutally-erect penis slamming into a raw egg.
26
123
738
for 3 years i worked 2 full time jobs to make this mag w my mates and, in 2018, i quit my job to dedicate all my time to it. which was terrifying.
but we’re still here and each issue since has felt like a blessing —subscribers are the thing that keeps that going.
We are revealing the cover for Issue 21 next week, it's a real coming of age. In the meantime, because we are nice, we're offering 15% discount on all subscriptions.
Enter 'BIGLAST15' at checkout and save money on your next four issues of MUNDIAL.
buff.ly/2VCsja0
12
35
726
Sheffield is a nice place. been here for nearly a week now and the people are sound, very laid-back. they just want a beer and to tell you about how the town was built "on seven hills, like Rome" and how good the new Nando's is. (I've been to the Nando's and it is good)
49
39
697
love watching old movies where they head into offices of people sat at desks with no computer, just a few sheets of paper in front of them. a whole day of underlining and circling numbers before heading home to eat roast beef in your dressing gown before bed. now that is living
6
21
685
a guy is patiently explaining the concept of perspective to his young son who is confused as to why a building closer to him appears bigger than the Shard and like wow you really have to explain everything to these little dickheads don’t you
7
45
646
fair play to Bruno buying his shirts from HMV
7
20
687
my favourite DJ is the bloke who DJs Rowan’s on Fridays and just plays fucking enormous tunes while checking his whatsapp
19
29
659
need to spare a thought on unreasonably warm days for lads at uni going through their "what if i just wore a suit every day?" phase
8
17
632
Swear to god Penn wrote this book playing the “type one word and then use predictive text to finish your sentence” game nitter.app/connorsouthard/status/…
9
70
599
Virgil van Dijk is a properly imperious defender, strutting about, never looks like he’s gonna lose the ball, never looking like he’s gonna be beaten. Love nothing more than a centre-half who just glides about while everyone else is panting.
21
65
653
my favourite thing about Certified Lover Boy is the fact that an artist called Certified Lover Boy dropped an album called 'Drake' on Spotify hours before Drake's actually album went live. the SEO hustle is incredibly real.
8
70
638
after six years at @MundialMag, i'm leaving to go freelance and looking forward to what comes next. for consultancy, commissions, and other opportunities, my DMs are open 🍻🍻
44
19
639
“old man is proud of his dinosaurs but feels kinda awkward about the fact they keep disembowelling people so eats ice cream” is such an amazing plot point
3
38
569
what are small habits that have helped you make big, positive differences at work? like, really small. not "go to the gym at 7am"; that is not small, that is psychopathic
97
23
612
moved into a lovely new house in north-west london and i would like to ask you a question: what is a totally non-essential purchase you have made for your house that has improved your life?
489
17
610
something decidedly unhinged about people who chose to start laughter with an A instead of an H
'ahahahaha' just feels so much more manic
27
23
599
YOU'LL NEVER SING THAT
YOU'LL NEVER SING THAAAATT
FIRST AWAY TEAM TO WIN A COMPETITIVE FIXTURE AT THE NEW TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR STADIUM
YOU'LL NEVER SING THAT
4
45
577
just miss being in the pub and saying "thought you'd fallen in" to anyone who goes to the bathroom for any amount of time
11
21
569
the Portuguese Eurovision winner leaves comments saying "Whatever happened to real hip hop?" under Young Thug videos on YouTube
72
587
Harry Styles defo says "namaste" to production assistants when they bring his vanilla rooibos tea, innit
4
675
570
wrote about how much i miss /r/soccerstreams and what an important resource it was for so many football fans mundialmag.com/blogs/gazzett…
27
66
562
james blake being 6’5 extremely does not tally with the impeccably small boi vibe of his music
12
54
525
also “nerd annoyed at not getting a pay rise puts many lives at risk for selfish gain until he eventually dies because he can’t drive” is another plot that’s aged very well
4
25
481
a nice example of the upper-class privilege to do whatever you want is the shade "Eton Blue" being literally fucking green
12
162
516
