YouTuber, Twitch Partner, Jaackmaate’s Happy Hour co-host, Bin Day Brewing Co, writes/produces/directs, ex-Soccer AM. Business enquiries: hello@drylunch.com
Norwich, UK
- Tweets 20,383
- Following 1,773
- Followers 59,976
- Likes 37,386
I know it’s hard to make international comparisons, but yesterday New Zealand had 9 new Covid cases and my house had 3.
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Tier one to tier three in less than a month. I now understand what it must have been like being a Sunderland fan.
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Steve Hodge brought this to Soccer AM once in a carrier bag.
“Hand of God” shirt just sold online for £7,142,500 / $9,284,536 – “marking a new auction record for any item of sports memorabilia” @Sothebys
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Laughing at Liverpool today is a bit like taking the piss out of your mate, who has banged two of Little Mix, for only fingering the other two.
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I have never promoted this brand. You also do not have permission to use this imagery.
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Today's Twitch stream went well apart from when I accidentally told a viewer his late gran loved dick.
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“The Grand Prix has been stopped due to an accident” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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I’m beginning to think that Arsène Wenger, the most successful manager in Arsenal’s history, might not have been the problem.
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For someone who is amazing at free kicks, Ronaldo is absolutely horse shit at free kicks.
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This is the stag do derby. Amsterdam v Prague. ITV should have done the pre-match from Gatwick Wetherspoons to get everyone in the mood. #NEDCZE
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Don’t worry about about your A-level results. I did quite well in mine but now I’m reduced to begging young people for money on Twitch so I can feed my kids.
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Yeah, you can download the Rightmove app while you’re at it son because you won’t be living here.
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There’s absolutely no way I’d go near a nightclub right now and can’t imagine anywhere less appealing.
Nothing to do with Covid, I’m just 44.
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It’s easy to feel down about the last 24 hours, but look around and there’s green shoots. After the game my 7-year-old son Otto asked if we could play football. He’s never asked that before. So today we went to the park, kicked a ball and ran home in the rain. And so it begins.
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My 7-year-old son Otto has just told us he doesn’t want to leave his teeth out for the tooth fairy because “It’s pretty creepy to break into children’s rooms and take their teeth while they sleep.”
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My wife just said that it’s too hot to eat curry.
Can’t wait till she learns about the climate of India, it’s going to blow her mind.
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What an end to 2020. Trump gone, Scotland through to the Euros, no more Yorkshire Ripper. At this rate I think we’re only about three days away from Margot Robbie sending me unsolicited nudes.
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You’ve got to hand it to milk men. They were years ahead of environmental issues with their electric vehicles and reusing bottles. To do this whilst still finding time to make love to bored housewives is an incredible achievement.
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When things get better we should go to a negative tier where normal laws don’t apply and you’re allowed to have sex in the street and stuff.
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My four year old son Arlo ate a Peperami for the first time today and said afterwards, “That was the best chocolate bar I’ve ever eaten.”
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Reckon we’re about ten minutes away from Boris Johnson tweeting about how good the Sidemen vodka is.
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How mad are starters? You’re having a dinner, but you warm up by eating another, smaller dinner. Absolute showboating.
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Wow. It took some doing but this is now the worst thing I’ve ever seen on 11th September.
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In January @TubesSoccerAM had a heart attack. He's alright now which is great news. I thought I'd interview him about it (a) because it's an amazing story, and (b) it might warn people of the signs to look out for. Full interview here: piped.video/YXEH0lwJRwc
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Every petrol station I went past today was empty. My next passport better be really fucking blue.
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I think there should be a law that for every shot of someone celebrating a win on a betting TV advert, they have to show one scene of someone crying because they’ve gambled away their house and their wife has left them.
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Probably the best 60 seconds of the podcast ever
Full video - piped.video/pXNtzOuA61g
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Second vaccine done. I’m off to Sevenoaks Wet Market to get me a massive bag of bats. See you in a bit.
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Ignoring the obvious hypocrisy for a second, how much fun does working at Downing Street look? More parties in a lockdown than I’ve been to in the last 15 years.
I’m expecting to see a video of Wayne Lineker pushing girls into the Downing Street pool tomorrow.
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I hope I get the Moderna vaccine. Proper indie vaccine that. AstraZeneca is basically vaccine Coldplay.
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On the way back from taking the children to see Santa tonight I hit a deer on the A21. Front of the car smashed up but all passengers are alright. Afterwards my son (4) asked what had happened and my daughter (7) said “Daddy killed a reindeer.” Merry Christmas kids.
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I’m joking of course about Ronaldo. Great to see him back at the club where he last scored a free kick.
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This Gatwick guy is really giving us innocent drone owners who just use them to spy on women changing a bad name.
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So sad to read this. I had an amazing time during my 7 years on Soccer AM, learnt so much and genuinely believe the show changed sports broadcasting in the UK. Thinking of my friends who are still there. Save Chip.
BREAKING: Soccer AM is being axed by Sky Sports
mirror.co.uk/sport/football/…
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I loved @Jaack’s video of all the big names who follow him on Twitter. I can’t believe he’s followed by Example! Unreal.
Anyway, can’t chat all day, I’m off to shoot hoops with my boy.
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Here you go mate.
The most disappointing thing to come out of today was the fact my anxiety stopped me getting a picture with @RobbieKnox
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Legendary work from @AberdeenFC - they’ve sent me a shirt to wear on my @FootballManager stream! Will model it tonight.
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Nurseries staying open. Arlo has had a shocker. The older kids are on cloud nine. Unreal scenes.
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I’m watching The Phantom Menace for the first time since 1999 and I forgot how much of a prick Jar Jar Binks is.
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Tories going through Prime Ministers like @Jaack goes through co-hosts.
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I’m sorry, I’m a bit arrogant, we have a top manager.
Full match coverage of the Scottish Cup Final on my @FootballManager stream.
Tonight, 7pm.
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My reaction when someone walks in and catches me playing with the guinea pig centipede I made in my dungeon.
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Finally folded and put the heating on last night and I regret nothing. Unreal feeling as I walked downstairs into the heat. Could have sworn I heard the Champions League theme playing in the background.
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I was in the pub last night and the guy at the table next to me said he recognised my face. I was about to mention Soccer AM, Happy Hour, etc when he said “You told someone their dead gran loved dick.”
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My five-year-old son Arlo just walked into the kitchen and said, “Who’s Liz Truss?” I told him she was the prime minister and he just nodded and walked off so god knows what he’s planning.
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Relegation decider today for @BrechinCityFC on my @FootballManager stream on Twitch, but the pressure isn’t getting to me.
Tonight, 7pm, twitch.tv/RobbieKnoxFC
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The person searching for sex song playlist’s night took a disappointing turn if they ended up watching me paint my shed.
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Unreal scenes on my @FootballManager @TwitchUKI stream as we won our first bit of silverware, the prestigious Weird Scottish Challenge Cup That For Some Reason Barnet Were In The Final Of. So proud of the lads.
Yes sir, I can boogie.
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In the last World War 18-41 year olds were conscripted. That means if this kicks off it’s just going to be me, @BlueVanMan4 and @thogdad left on YouTube.
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If the government tells me I have to home school my kids again I’m just going to make a vaccine myself.
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Just had my Covid booster. To think I went from rubbish old AstraZeneca first time to elite Pfizer today. Just goes to show that if you believe in yourself enough and never give up you can achieve your dreams. #aspirational
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