i’ll just leave this here.

not a joke

this is no joke.

Can I get an amen here?

Mark your calendars

The difference

Truer words…

Ya Think?!

100%

Damn straight.

Anybody?

There is never a reason to fly a #Nazi flag in this country or anywhere. It’s anti-everything we should be. It’s sick. It’s a slap in the face to all those who died defending democracy during World War II. If you think this is OK, emigrate your sick, twisted self to a country that embraces the sick, twisted #propaganda and #hatred for which this flag stands.

This is going to be a long tweet, and it’s not new news, but it’s new news to me, and I think it’s especially important for everyone, and especially those of you who support the now indicted @realDonaldTrump to become acquainted with the class of people who worked for and promoted him during his tenure. I would especially recommend this to those who consider yourselves Christians, lovers of God and of living a Christian life according to the Bible, common decency and the law. The image below lists the names of people who were associated with him in his first campaign for the presidency and the crimes with which they have been charged. I have personally checked every one of these, and will be posting the new stories associated with each of these individuals in tweets after this image. And after reading this – and I hope you do – I also hope you’ll examine your devotion to a known racist and grifter, among other things, in the light of the company he keeps. there’s nothing of coincidence involved when you have a list this long of people charged with child pornography and exploitation. And in my very humble opinion, if you can excuse this and still support the now indicted former president there is nothing of Christianity or decency about you. I know some of you will probably immediately answer with denials, crude name-calling or whatever it is you feel is appropriate to post but I will ignore you until I am done posting the relevant information for each and everyone of these individuals that I have been able to find in the public record.

Five surgeons were discussing which were the best patients on which to operate. The first surgeon said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up everything inside is numbered." The second surgeon responded, "You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon said, "I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers...they always understand if you have a few parts left over in the end or if the job takes longer than you said it would." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up with this observation, "You're all wrong. #GOP politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no spine and the head and ass are interchangeable."

Preach!

I bet you do too.

Sounds good to me.

do. Not. Laugh.😂😂😂

PS: something to remember.

Raise your hand if you think it’s entirely possible that the #Trump campaign staged this bullshit to gin up sympathy and support. I wouldn’t put a fucking thing past any of them. Don’t forget, we’re dealing with people who are using Hitler’s playbook and Russia’s money to try to destroy America.

You should build the wall out of Hillary's emails, since no one can get over them.

Exactly

Uh, yeah @GovRonDeSantis @GOP

⁦ I’ll just leave this here. ⁦@GOP⁩

A woman heard a noise late at night, looked out the window and saw someone in her shed. She called the police and reported a prowler. The dispatcher told her they would send an officer to investigate. Twenty minutes later the police hadn’t shown up and the man was now loading items from the shed into a van parked in the driveway. She called the police back and asked where the cops were. The dispatcher patched her through to a patrolman and he told her, "Ma'am, we'll be there as soon as we can. We don't have anyone available in your area right now." The woman hung up and then called back. “I just shot the prowler and he’s lying dead in the driveway,” she told the dispatcher. Two minutes later five cop cars surrounded the house. The thief ran but the cops caught and cuffed him. Then a patrolman came to the woman's door and said, "I thought you said you shot and killed that guy." She smiled at him and said, "I thought you said nobody was available.”

Perfect.

And now, the joke that started it all… because no matter how many times you read it, it’s still f’ing funny. Five surgeons were discussing which were the best patients on which to operate. The first surgeon said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up everything inside is numbered." The second surgeon responded, "You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon said, "I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them id in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers...they always understand if you have a few parts left over in the end or if the job takes longer than you said it would." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up with this observation, "You're all wrong. GOP politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no spine and the head and ass are interchangeable."

Heads up.

Scumsuckers.

This!

Those of you have known me for a while might remember today would’ve been my son‘s 36th birthday, and that’s why no jokes last night. This is the time I reserve to remember everything about him…the brilliant, the beautiful, the contradictions, his completely unprejudiced but incredibly stubborn heart, and the beautiful bond we shared while he was still here. I know somewhere, my beautiful boy, you’re causing some kind of havoc.

⁦@realDonaldTrump⁩

Truer words.

Today would be a good day for the @FCC to take Fox News off the air. Any station featuring someone who suggests killing the homeless does not belong on an accessible public forum to spread hatred and encourage violence.

Truth

Separated at birth.

Can I get an amen?

What's the difference between George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, and Jane Fonda? Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.

truer words…

In arguable

good luck with that, traitor

And the one that started it all… Five surgeons were discussing which were the best patients on which to operate. The first surgeon said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up everything inside is numbered." The second surgeon responded, “You should try electricians!Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon said, "I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers...they always understand if you have a few parts left over in the end or if the job takes longer than you said it would." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up with this observation, "You're all wrong.GOP politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no spine and the head and ass are interchangeable."

The ring of truth. How is it the rest of the world can see it so clearly and so many here are wearing blinders?

I have a joke about that. Two friends were chilling in the park during their lunch hour. One of them was doing a crossword puzzle is doing the crossword puzzle in the daily paper. Man 1: How do you spell buffoon? Man 2: Do you want the British or American spelling? Man 1: British or American? What are you talking about? Man 2: Well the British spelling is J, O, H, N, S, O, N. And the American spelling is T, R, U, M, P.

How to give your cat a pill 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom. Throw soggy pill away. 4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. 6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. 8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. 9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck, leaving head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12) Call fire brigade to retrieve the fucking cat from tree across the road. Apologize to the neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. 14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. 15) Arrange for ASPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL: 1) Wrap it in cheese.

On Friday, an elementary school teacher set a challenge. "If you can tell me who said the following quote, you don't have to come to school on Monday: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” A hand shot up and little Billy Tran said, "Franklin Delano Roosevelt". "Correct, Billy. You can have next Monday off" the teacher replied. "I'm Vietnamese, we value education. I'll be here Monday,” said Billy. “Okay,” said the teacher. "Let’s try another: 'Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.'" Susie Hou raised her hand and said, “Abraham Lincoln." "Correct, Susie." the teacher smiled. "Enjoy your day off" Susie said, “Oh no, ma'am. I'm Chinese, we also value education. I'll be here early on Monday.” "Fucking immigrants!" a voice said from the back. "Who said that?” the teacher snapped. "Donald Trump!” said little Johnny. "I'll see ya Tuesday."

Bingo.

The Nuremberg Defense. Didn't work then. Won't work when we get to the bottom of the mess we're in, either.

Home #Covid Test 1. Pour a large glass of red wine and try to smell it. 2. If you can smell the wine then drink it & see if you can taste it. 3. If you can taste & smell it confirms you don't have Covid. Last night, I did the test 19 times and all were negative, thank God. Tonight I’m going to do the test again, because this morning I woke up with a headache & feel like I'm coming down with something. *Remember, you may get a false negative. Retest regularly.

Amen “You can’t get rich in politics unless you’re a crook. ~ Harry Truman

I'm writing my autobiography one poem at a time. ~ RC deWinter

Truer words

Donald Trump was visiting a grade school.  In one class he was talking about the word ‘tragedy'. Then he asked them to use it in a sentence. One brave girl raised her hand and said aid, "If a school bus carrying 20 people drove off of a cliff and everyone in it died that would be a tragedy." "No," Trump responded. "You're close, but that isn't a tragedy. That is what we would call a great loss." A few seconds later a boy raised his hand and said, "What about if my friend was at a farm and a farmer drove over him with a tractor? That would be a tragedy." "No," Trump replied. "That is what we would call an accident, not a tragedy. Anyone else?" The entire class with stumped for a few minutes. Then, finally, another boy raised his hand and said, "I know what a tragedy would be. If Donald Trump was flying in his private jet and got hit by a missile, that would definitely be a tragedy." "Exactly!" Trump said, pleased. "Now, can you tell the class why, exactly, that would be a tragedy?" "Well," the boy replied, “It definitely wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

Horse manure. Legal experts explained it wasn’t an approval, but rather a determination that current law didn’t allow for its regulation. So please, stop the #lies about the last #real president we had,

If this doesn’t make you laugh there’s no f’ing hope for you.

While stitching a cut on the hand of an elderly farmer, the doctor struck up a conversation. Eventually the topic got around to Donald Trump. The old farmer said, " Well, as I see it, Donald Trump is a post tortoise.” Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post tortoise was. The old farmer said, “It’s when you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top – that's a post tortoise. You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's been elevated beyond his ability to function and you wonder what kind of dumbass put him up there in the first place.”

Again I ask, @realDonaldTrump, are you and Ivanka planning to bring #jobs to America by having the merchandise you hawk #MADEinUSA instead of in #foreign #sweatshops? Because if not, then your rhetoric is empty, the #Hypocrisy of words on the wind.

All of this

Here’s my take. Now we find out this kid who is alleged to have shot Trump was a registered Republican. So here’s the scenario: You find some naïve kid who loves the idea of Trump and also likes violence and that’s why he likes Trump. You tell him he’s gonna be a hero because they’re doing this thing to make Trump look like an almost martyr. And the kid is gung ho and never stops to think that he’s not going to survive this incident. Remember Dallas. Remember Lee Harvey Oswald.

Remembering Jimmy Buffett I will share with you my Jimmy Buffett story. I’ve always had a special place for him in my heart because of this. Just as an aside, I also knew Captain Phil and his girlfriend, and Phil was the man about whom Jimmy Buffett wrote the song “A Pirate Looks at 40.” When I was working in Key West in the music business, on nights when I wasn’t booked with the band I would often play in a very small, wonderful grass shack restaurant that served organic food only. It was owned by a woman named Gail with a young son in a wheelchair. She couldn’t afford to pay me but I worked for tips and they were generous. The food was great and I always got a meal.  One night, Jimmy Buffett came in with two gorgeous women, one on each arm, and they were seated at a corner table at a diagonal from where I sat at the front of the room, playing and singing. Only the tourists were surprised to see him. Those of us who lived there were used to him being around from time to time, but I had never been in such close proximity before. It didn’t rattle me to perform in front of him because, don’t forget, I had originally gotten my first big break in Woodstock during its golden era where I knew everybody and fame did not and still does not intimidate me. Trust me when I tell you we all put our pants on one leg at a time. But that was another life, one of my many. Anyway, Jimmy Buffett and his companions sat at a corner table diagonally across from me probably, oh, I don’t know, maybe for an hour plus, eating and drinking and having a good time while I sat at the front of the room howling away. When they were done and he’d paid the tab they got up to leave and as they walked toward the exit he came over, leaned down, said “Nice music” and dropped something into the guitar hole of my Gibson. When I got back to my apartment that night I shook out whatever it was and it turned out to be a joint wrapped in a $20 bill. We’re talking mid 70s and $20 was a fortune to a working musician then, and I’ve always loved him for that gesture.

And now, I’ll say good night/good morning with this, one of my favorite tales, not sure why it’s found under jokes, because I think it’s a beautiful lesson. I’ll see you good people next time. A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?" "This is heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" The man asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" The traveler asked. "I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets." The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" He called to the reader. "Do you have any water?" "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in." "How about my friend here?" The traveler gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them. "What do you call this place?" The traveler asked. "This is heaven," was the answer. "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too." "Oh, you mean the place with the golden street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell." "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?" "No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."

i'll just leave this here.

Come on, people, pass it along. Make it viral.

I’ll just leave this here.

I’ll just leave this here.

🥀🥀🥀🥀KINDNESS 🥀🥀🥀

When Trump was still infesting the White House one of his aides said to him,”I dreamt you got your parade. It was miles long winding through Washington DC. People lined the route, literally in the millions, and they were laughing, cheering and dancing in the street as you rode in the most beautiful carriage." Trump asked, "Was I happy?" The aide answered, "I don't know, the casket was closed."

A reporter asked Donald Trump, “What is 2 + 2?” “I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question,” Trump said. “No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. It’s just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2 – by the way, I love the number 2 – It's probably my favorite number.No – it IS my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest, I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero I don't like, though I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, '10101000101', on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright. Thank you." Reporter: “But what actually is 2+2?" Trump: "Siddown. No, siddown. I've already answered your question. Haven't I already answered your question? This is what we get from news reporters, folks. Give me a nice question. Yes - you." Reporter 2: "Is your name Donald Trump?" Trump: "Now that's a nice question, folks. That's what I want."

Donald Trump was on a golf course near St. Andrews, Scotland and was about to dip his hand in a lake to take a drink of water when the groundskeeper yelled “Oy! Dinna peut ya haand en a loch! It’s feeeled wi coo piss n coo shite!” “Hey!” yelled Trump. "I just bought this golf course & we’re gonna have the best groundskeepers. The best! I've been talking about it for a long time, along with many other subjects, frankly. What you just said wasn’t clear. If you can’t speak English you’re fired!” “My apologies,” said the groundskeeper. “I was just saying that you want to make sure to use two hands so as not to spill a single drop of that water.”

My pleasure and you’re welcome. I’ve posted it before and I’ll post it again because every time I do new people see it and it brightens their evenings.

I’ll just leave this here.

🌷🌷🌷🌷KINDNESS🌷🌷🌷🌷 My daughter has been dating a new guy. They were recently at a club listening to live music and my daughter excused herself to go to the restroom. On her return she noticed her date was sitting there watching the show with his hand covering her drink while she was gone. Both of them were aware that drinks can be spiked in crowded bars, but they never really discussed it with each other. He just knew what to do to protect her while his attention was on the show and she was away. My daughter was so touched that she took this picture to remember the moment. Their relationship is young, but this mama is hoping this thoughtful young man sticks around.

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. ~ Frank Zappa

Works for me.

TY for this marvelous mini bio that told me so much I never knew. We need many more people like this in the world. People who care, who are thoughtful and generous enough to make a positive difference. Thank you, @DollyParton for your contribution to the wellbeing of so many.