I lie for a living & tell the truth as a hobby
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- Following 1,051
- Followers 118,298
- Likes 11,667
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“You know why they call it golf right”? asked my father one beautiful afternoon back in 1996.
“No pop, why”? I asked.
“Because ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’ we’re already taken”.
😊⛳️ 😉
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Papa Can You Hear Me?
Papa We We’re Both Born In The Eighties.
Papa How Can That Be!?
I Dunno Ask K-Dubs & JP.
#TVD
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We enjoyed every second of @GetOutMovie
And to you @JordanPeele ....
GET the fuck OUT of our lives after we see it 4 more times....
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Tonight as we all say “bye” to our beloved, underrated and overachieving @CWiZombie I feel it’s important to note that we had 5 years of “hi” and that’s not nothing.
It was a pleasure to meet you all. Time Well Spent.
#ByeZombie
#iZombie
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And @GameOfThrones deserves an Oscar for what I just witnessed.
I know it's a long shot but...
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I encourage all the savvy folk using their parents @netflix account to sign in & check out @ThumperMovie
Fantastic performances all around led by Lil’ Lizey Jane.
Kudos kid.
This goes for upstanding members as well...
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...a Horizon employee just hijacked an airplane here at #SeaTac where I’ve just landed.
He is flying around the airport & he does not know how to land it.
We are trapped on the ground for an unclear & inordinate amount of time.
All ops have ceased.
I just flew into “Die Hard 2”
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This is what we(me) in the biz call "Lens Crushing" & my zombie brethren do it with an unapologetic effortlessness that gives pause & pride
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Oh, he dead.
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I don’t know much...
but I know @RichardSHarmon is the finest television “Murphy” I’ve seen since Candice Bergen.
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“True Romance” ain’t got nothing on @RahulKohli13 and our relationship...
Gary Oldman for one.
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Beyond deserved.
deadline.com/2018/09/izombie…
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Happy Birthday RoRo aka Liwi aka The Best Person from South of the Equator I Have Ever Met or Had a Meal With
Kisses
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Upon hearing of a rapist named Brett being confirmed to the highest court in the land, i’ve convinced my stylist to let this peroxide seep into my skull until I cease to be.
It’s a Good Day to Hair Die.
#KavanaughConfirmed
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Congratulations to all of my @CWiZombie brethren on season cinco and a heartfelt thank you to all that watch.
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Donald Trump is a pathological cunt.
I know the ins and outs of such a species.I’ve played one for almost 20 years.
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I pale in comparison to @imrosemciver in every regard except perhaps this picture. #iZombie
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While Blaine can’t stop thinking about “The Last Five Years”, the wonderful musical by Jason Robert Brown...
I,David Anders,would like to thank every last one of the wonderful human beings who helped bring #iZombie to life,day in and day out, for half of a decade.I love you all.
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These "people" comin over here talking in tongue, taking over our @Xbox, using our wifi...
#MakeAmericaGreatAgain
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..The Lens Genocide continues with 2 handsomes & 1 handful who's unorthodox chair sits have labeled him a wildcard in LaLa, just as planned.
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Talked with @EW about my time on @cwtvd the other day,primarily about John siring @ninadobrev's Elena at 7yrs old
share.ew.com/gP5BEhf
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Happy Birthday LiWi!!!!
Wanna Go to the Salon Tomorrow and Get a Coupla Bleach Outs…?
For Old Times Sake?
@imrosemciver
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Although I Saw Him A Week Ago...
I Still Miss @brendan_hines
archive.org/details/funny_or…
Enjoy?
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Tonight we'll be watching you watch us on the season three premiere of @CWiZombie
Watching you until the cows come home.
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I feel most people say “I love Blaine” the way Steve Carrel says “I love lamp “ in Anchorman & I wouldn’t be a responsible Twitterphile if I didn’t ask “do you actually love Blaine or are you just pointing at things and saying you love them?”
Watch @CWiZombie tonight!
All y’all.
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This whole “accused of rape doesn’t make it rape” is such misogynistic bullshit as women & their accounts are too often(always) marginalized & disregarded(even from fellow women no less)
So hey ladies,Speak,Yell,Shout & make yourselves heard.
There’s more listeners than aren’t.
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It wasn’t until recently when we all went in on a 1983 Broward Yacht together did we find ourselves smiling together.
You see, Maritime brought us together like wartime.
Now, if we could only figure out how to bring those boat bonds onto shore it’d be sumthin.
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Hey @RahulKohli13,
You already worked with George Miller and Americas Tom Hardy (me) so...
Oz is gonna be a let down.
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I’m drunk, in Peru, my dad just died and am very sorry for my opinions
(which will still be the same tomorrow)
Sending you and yours a basket of sundries goods immediately all the same
But
Also...
and so sorry I didn’t say this sooner...
go fuck yourself with your new dick.
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This is the Nina I know.
huff.to/2o6MJHs
@ninadobrev
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This Just In:
4 Oregon Boys Who've Known Each Other Since 1986 Just Bought A Used Honda Hog Together
#SouthDakota
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I can't believe that in a week's time I'll be donning the John Varvatos and blonde hair in season 4. I'm beyond excited. I love this guy.
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