Father of 6 - Writer - Editor - Critic - Gardener - NBCC member linktr.ee/alexanderpyles clippings.me/users/alexander…
Illinois, USA
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We buried our son today.
We enter a new phase of grief now.
Thank you, everyone - for everything.
Here is Frankie's eulogy as promised.
Also, a google doc link too, in case the screenshots are annoying: docs.google.com/document/d/1…
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He's gone.
Frankie slipped away last night as I was holding him. He was a stubborn, strong baby and stuck around for just a few min short of 24 hours.
Our time was blessed and peaceful, despite small moments of panic as he declined.
Thank you all for your prayers.
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This is heavy, but we could use some more prayers.
We had a level II ultrasound and testing on Monday and just got the results back today. Little guy has Trisomy 18, and isn't expected to live long after birth.
His name is Francis Benedict.
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Missing our boy on this All Souls day.
Amazing how you just wake up one day and the grief cuts like it all happened yesterday.
Love you, Frankie.
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We hope to bring him home for a couple of days, but it'll depend on his heart. We'll know more about life expectancy once we meet with the pediatric cardiologist. Prayer requests are listed on the CaringBridge site, and we'll update them there as we go.
caringbridge.org/visit/babyf…
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So, this happened today.
Baby & Mama are very good. We're all very tired, but man am I in love all over again.
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Say a prayer for my wife's cousin's family. Their infant has COVID and it's tenuous at best.
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Might have to finally block Watt Malsh, because his latest thread pours a lot of salt into the fresh grief of having lost a newborn.
"I don't know what I would after a week."
I would do anything for another day with Frankie.
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Any Catholic on here who is trying to defend, be pedantic, or fight with others who are criticizing the Church about the new 700+ unmarked graves of indigenous children found in Canada, really need to log off.
We need to be doing work to provide justice to those we've wronged.
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Possibly a hot take - but - I used to get super resentful & jealous of other husbands/fathers who seemed to have all of this "extra time" to work on passion projects.
Then I found out after a bit, that the extra time came at the cost of their wives picking up *all* the slack.
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My mom is 64 today.
It'll be six years since she left us this May.
Say a prayer for Anna Marie if you get a chance.
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Wish trads would understand that family life is less tobacco smoking while your well mannered children do chores and more breaking up a screaming thrashing mess, while Daniel Tiger plays in the background.
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Do we need to talk about the millions of Natives/slaves that died for America to even *become* a country?
No country is innocent.
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The thought hit me during Mass today, Mary was assumed into heaven as an older woman, meaning she was taken into heaven with wrinkles, gray hair, and stiff joints.
Really wish American Catholicism had room to think about/talk about aging in a more holistic sense.
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Spent sometime with Frankie today on his death day.
We painted some rocks to leave here, since the kids thought he needed some "toys."
I just laid on a blanket next to him. This is how I spend time with my boy this side of heaven--it hurts, but it is peaceful.
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Had a breakthrough in realizing that my faith life is tanking because of grief and anger.
Also noticed that I'm so hard on Cath orgs/public figures, bc I'm essentially looking for an excuse to stop carrying/let go of the faith.
Just kinda sitting in that.
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Ws in the chat!
Kate and I celebrate 6 years of marriage today!
7 jobs, 3 moves, and 5 kids later. ❤️
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I'm done with glory stories or any story of a miracle.
A customer told me that he had experienced a couple of miracles involving Lourdes water that miraculously healed two babies.
And I just--
It has been exactly 8 months since Frankie died.
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Baby is having a procedure for her tongue tie today!
Not serious, but prayers that it goes well!
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Taking breaks from work to set up the crib in the baby's room.
Trying not to feel everything at once, since it feels as if this baby is replacing Frankie, but also this baby is overshadowed by him. It's a tension and it sucks.
"She will be in his room."
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"Stop having kids."
"No."
Any conversation that removes corporate/gov responsibility and casts it back on the populace is doing more to hurt the climate than people having kids.
What would a difficult but honest conversation about children & climate change look like? Having a child is one of the worst things you can do for the planet. And also, every person deserves a life of purpose & connection -- for many, that comes from kids.
jill.substack.com/p/having-k…
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This is my dad. He turns 64 next week and he has only met my kids once, for about three hours.
My oldest is seven.
He wasn't at Frankie's funeral and I'm not sure when he will see our kids again.
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Sorta slow at work, so started my taxes and was entirely not prepared to add Frankie as a dependent. I loved seeing his name next to my other kiddos, but--
Something about entering "DIED" into the SSN field just--
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I realize it's a "brand" for Catholics to always react to criticism from secular culture - but ya'll we aren't persecuted. Far from it.
We can still practice our faith. We can still practice our values. Is it hard? Sure, but we weren't promised a Christian world.
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Say a prayer for my Mom, Anna Marie.
Today marks five years, since she went to her heavenly reward, after a 20+ MS diagnosis.
Trying to keep her close as we get closer to welcoming Frankie into the world.
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Reporting for Jury duty today.
Can't wait to sit there for three hours for them to just reject me, because I'm too Catholic.
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Trauma impacts bodies, the mind, and even our DNA.
Is this truly surprising that babies do better if their mother has more security?
Does it make more sense to ppl as to why poverty is generational?
You literally can't even be in utero and escape it.
Breaking News: Cash payments for low-income mothers increased brain function in babies, a study found, with potential implications for U.S. safety net policy. nyti.ms/3H07cFN
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It'd be cool if our fellow parishioners followed the Bishop's directive to mask up for mass, so that our family could sit in the sanctuary. No one was masked.
My kiddos don't do that well in the narthex. Doesn't even feel like we went to mass.
Like what's the point?
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Something Kate and I have taken from our time with Frankie in utero, is that we have to suffer with people.
That's it.
That's what Christ's love looks like sometimes and if we refuse or turn our nose up or try and morph it into something else...well we're missing it.
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Found my youngest crying in what would have been his brother's room this morning, in case you need another measure of how well the Pyles clan is doing.
💙
I've been getting these terrible headaches/migraines every Wednesday for the past two months like clockwork.
No idea why, but Kate reminded me that Frankie died on a Wednesday, so there's that.
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Going to need ppl to stop QTing the Falcone tweet.
It's incredibly offensive to just about any family who has not only had a miscarriage but has had a child die too soon.
Like - I don't have words for how his thread makes me feel. And that might be a good thing.
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We have a funeral today for a Dad who passed away this past weekend after a two year battle with cancer. He was not even 40.
He is leaving behind his wife, his twin girls, and son.
Please keep David in your prayers today.
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Coming up on a few hard days here at casa de Pyles, so if you could keep us in your thoughts/prayers - I would appreciate it.
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This is also a PSA to stop screenshotting and/or QTing it onto everyone's TLs.
Take it to a DM or take it offline. Stop giving him clicks and stop giving him attention. I know I'm not the only one who is quietly suffering & enraged over this.
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Well, I wasn't expecting this but I'm being let go from my day job.
If anyone has tips/opps - I would deeply appreciate it.
I have a background in writing, editing, project management, client/customer relations, and managerial experience. Please DM! (Specific indus below)
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Love it when (white) Catholic talking heads go "I dunno, systemic racism doesn't feel real to me and I dunno why everyone is picking on me for saying that."
🙄
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Anyway - small bio update:
2 in heaven - 3 outside the womb - the newest addition arriving a week into 2025!
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Getting discharged today and then it's back to applying for jobs...woof.
I do love this new baby tho.
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Maybe too earnest for the bird site, but I'm very grateful to have just received my first spit up from the baby.
I'm also grateful that I get newborn cuddles as I stay up with her.
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Might be cringe or whatever to say but it is quite literally a privilege to take care of a loved one.
I’ve had men tell me how much they pity my husband for having to take care of me and the children while I’m basically useless whilst recovering from knee surgery.
I know they mean well, but I can’t help but feel like that is some small amount of misogyny
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She died this evening.
Thank you all for your continued prayers.
Heard she was thinking of getting the first vax in January. It is so so sad.
If you could say a prayer for the biz manager and her family at our local parish.
She has been in the hospital for over a month with COVID and we just received word that she is passing this afternoon.
Pax
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I'm just gunna say it.
Taylor Marshall is boring. It's all been done.
He's essentially full on Pope hating Prot and can be ignored.
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Today is Frankie's birthday. He would have been three.
Keep the Pyles in your thoughts today. It's going to be a very muted day for Kate and I.
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Pray for us tomorrow if you feel the urge to.
I will be posting the eulogy for those who may want to read it.
💙
Frankie Bean's funeral is tomorrow at 11am central. If you want to pray with us, the church said they'd livestream the service through their YouTube channel: piped.video/channel/UCghzBzx…
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Hey friends - hate asking, but the Pyles fam is facing an untenable wage garnishment bc we can't keep up with certain debts and well--after this latest verdict it's going to push us off the edge.
So, if anyone wants to either hire or Venmo me, we'd be so grateful.
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Coming up on the second anniversary of Frankie's diagnosis and my body remembered the date before I did.
Headache, fatigue--I just don't feel great.
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#indie presses you need to know about. #ff
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Please @ me with more!
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The Pyles are on baby watch. Kate's been having irregular contractions for the last couple days but no real change and it's wearing on her.
Due date is the 8th.
Say a prayer for us if that's your thing!
Come on baby V!
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I've realized of late that I'm just kinda over the idea of creating a "Christian" society if we are not first and foremost looking at our neighbors and meeting their needs.
Like - who gives a shit about "growing in virtue" if I have hungry children in my city?
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I am overwhelmed and in awe of the outpouring of support for us.
Thank you.
I'm not going to do this much, but I haven't officially dropped this link myself for our GoFundMe for baby Frank:
gofundme.com/f/8bc5s-baby-fr…
Give, share, pray - whatever you can do, I appreciate it.
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Today marks the 7th year since my Mom passed away.
Say a prayer for Anna Marie, if you feel inclined. She would have been 65. 💙
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Had a few friends over to watch Mortal Kombat last night.
One who is a fresh graduate from FUS was checking out our sacred space, but then became visibly confused when I said we should do shots.
This is my Catholicism.
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I've been getting these terrible headaches/migraines every Wednesday for the past two months like clockwork.
No idea why, but Kate reminded me that Frankie died on a Wednesday, so there's that.
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Okay - luckily I'm working remote and no one is home, so I was able to grief scream and I feel better.
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Even in jest - I will always hate the notion of Catholics simply "replacing culture" by out reproducing non-Catholics.
Always reads with an almost eugenics tone, while alienating everyone who is not a "relation."
Would love for Caths to stop the capitalist "numbers game".
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Now that I'm done with the old day job, I'm officially a "civilian" when it comes to Catholic media/Catholic workplace and that feels really good.
Maybe my faith will finally be okay.
Also - I feel somewhat more liberated to talk about some things haha.
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American Catholic Challenge - How about we engage with the faith in literally any other way - aside from how it makes you FEEL or what you KNOW
For the love of God.
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Quick prayer request for my godson as he gets baptized today.
And if you want throw me in please do, since he is my first godchild.
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31 today and I'm hoping I don't slip into an existential spiral, like I did last year.
Trying to tell myself there's still time to write everything I want to.
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Dunno if my SSRI is finally kicking in or what, but I'm really diggin' my fit today.
Please enjoy the rare car selfie.
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If ya'll say a prayer for my mom, Anna Marie. Today marks 6 years since she passed.
I was actually flying back to OH from FL because I was out of PTO and out of money.
I do regret not being there when she actually died. I can finally admit that now.
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I cannot emphasize enough that your children are persons and as a parent you are a steward of them.
You do not own them, control them, nor do they owe you anything. You love them. They are not ideologies to disprove.
Sorry if that's controversial.
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