I've left this platform and no longer tweet. You can find me on Bluesky @ottoenglish.bsky.social
London
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The good news is that if you order NOTORIOUS today it will arrive a full ten days before Father's Day
linktr.ee/OttoEnglish
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Narrator:
Donald Trump avoided the military draft 5 times during the Vietnam War
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We have to accept that millions of Americans are misogynistic, climate change denying, racist fucking lunatics who don't give a single fuck about anything apart from the price of gas in their tanks.
Having done that we need to stop caring about America and build a better Europe.
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Boris Johnson flew in a private jet to Blackpool for a photo op today. He shaved an estimated 20 minutes off the time it'd have taken by train, cost taxpayers thousands of £ more and made a mockery of his climate pledges in the process. But hey he's King of the World
#LevellingUp
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When Allegra Stratton married James Forsyth, political Editor of the Spectator - the best man was Rishi Sunak. The lines between our journalists - expecially those at the Spectator and Sun - and our politicians have never been more blurry. And that is a very big problem.
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A hint of the calibre of people we can expect over the next 4 years.
This spectacular dimwit is about to become Assistant Secretary of State and Chief of Protocol of the United States of America.
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They finally did it. They blamed Germany for Brexit. The circle of life is complete.
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Trump's grandfather died in the 1918 flu pandemic and the subsequent life insurance policy that paid out created the Trump fortune. This is the most mind boggling thing I've learned during Covid 19
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"In my country can't say anything or you might get put in prison"
Says Nigel Farage who never shuts the fuck up and yet remains, curiously, at liberty
GB News
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Russell Brand trying to sell a $239.99 amulet that will protect you from WiFi even as he prominently wears a WiFi microphone 🎤 is quite the grift
Russell Brand, remade as a right-wing Christian influencer, is now selling a "magical amulet" that protects you from WiFi signals and other "evil energies." Only $239.99 per amulet.
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Multi-millionaire Brexit pub landlord Tim Martin wishing his employees "the best of luck" as he offers them nothing and suggests they try and get a job elsewhere. What a great guy, what a patriot, what a twat.
nitter.app/ThanosPool/status/1242…
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Wonder if the Nigel Farage, currently in Belgrade, interfering in Australian internal affairs, is related to the Nigel Farage who spent a decade telling 'unelected foreign bureacrats' to 'butt out' of British affairs.
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Old John Cleese has become everything young John Cleese mocked and ridiculed. It's really too depressing to watch.
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Well, I don't know what @JDVance was hoping to achieve with that speech, but to his immense credit, he's performed the seemingly impossible task of uniting Europe... albeit in mockery and contempt of him.
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Greta Thunberg is 21.
And on the day it has been revealed that Antarctica has seen an unprecedented leap of 38.5C above the seasonal average - perhaps we should start listening to her over some account called 'Oli in London'
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I could actually weep. This woman has been so lied to and misinformed that she thinks we are "getting our courts back from Germany."
nitter.app/GstarFreedom/status/12…
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You think the Tories can't fuck up any worse and then they totally pull it out of the bag.
The prospective Labour candidate is Bayo Alaba
On the right.
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Nigel Farage is awfully, awfully quiet today. No tweets. Nothing. You would imagine that such a towering political figure, so obsessed with nations and sovereignty would have said something on here about the invasion of Ukraine - wouldn't you?
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If Keir Starmer has to resign for a solitary work beer and a collective work curry on a trip to Durham while canvassing then presumably Boris Johnson absolutely has to go for those (checks notes) 15 parties, leaving dos and karaokes at Downing Street... or am I missing something?
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What if people need to get to hospitals?
What if people need to get their kids to school?
What if people need life saving tubs of ice cream from the local Tesco Metro?
(Am I doing this right?)
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Nigel Farage failed his O levels, has no qualifications in the area whatsoever and has been on Newsnight talking about Coronavirus. There's your problem Britain.
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Stop what you are doing and watch this 30 second video of an academic confronting the risible @lozzafox with a dose of truth.
Trust me.
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If you're sneering at a 19 year old girl who was groomed age 15 and who has subsequently seen her three babies die your moral compass is fucked frankly. Repugnant reactions to a desperate human tragedy. You don't have to like Shamima Begum but show some basic human decency.
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The way the #ProudBoys hashtag has been hijacked like this is a thing of utter beauty
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Over recent years I have sometimes found myself defending Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, but today I learn that they "held hands in public" and that's it. They're on their own.
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If you're shocked to discover that Boris Johnson lied to you about Christmas parties - then wait till you hear about something called Brexit.
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Sam Ryder doing more for GB than our politicians have managed in a decade. At last people actually like us #Eurovision
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How Murdoch plays you.
Sun in Scotland.... depicts Johnson as a limp dicked loser. In England all the ire is aimed at Corbyn.
You're still falling for it Britain?
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Andrew Tate is a 'fighting age' 'migrant' who has now been accused of grooming underage girls, 'sex with a minor' and 'trafficking'.
Where is the outrage from Tommy Robinson, Farage and his other defenders?
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Truss is insipid, utterly unconvincing, unlikeable, muddled and quite clearly completely out of her depth. Which would be fine if she was a middle manager on a potato farm. But she is the British Prime Minister in the midst of a major crisis of her own government's making.
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December 17th.
One day before the Downing Street party. Similar number of people.
Officers have shut down a wedding where 40 people were in attendance.
Holding large gatherings could be the difference between life and death for someone else.
#London is in Tier 3. You must not mix inside with anyone, who is not in your household or support bubble.
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Note to British politicians.
THIS.
ALL OF THIS.
#FarageDestroyed
Alex Taylor
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Imagine tweeting this from a private jet in a cost of living crisis when you've literally just cancelled the high-speed train line to the city you've been in. What sort of monstrous lack of awareness is going on?
This week I took long-term decisions to build a brighter future and change our country.
This change will:
🏘️ Transform our towns
🚆 Boost our transport
📚 Improve our education
🚭 Reduce cancer deaths
Here’s how👇
ALT Prime Minister Rishi Sunak works as he travels to attend the European Political Community Summit (EPC).
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Piers Morgan's viewing figures on Talk TV have slumped to 62,000. Reckon I could get that with a slow motion pair of falling pants.
WDYT
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A reminder of a time when this country looked forward and did big things in partnership with others - rather than chase its tail into wistful, nostalgic oblivion.
Thirty years ago, the Channel Tunnel finally linked the United Kingdom and France!
This feat brought people closer together, gave new impetus to our trade and confirmed the strength of our political relationship.
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One of the key selling points of Brexit was that "no longer" would cheap foreign labour undercut British workers. The P and O debacle totally undermines that lie doesn't it.
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The government wants you to think it was bad luck that we have the worst Covid death rate in the world. It wasn't bad luck. It was bad government.
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Jonathan Van Tam claiming quarantine for incoming travellers has been in place in UK since... the 30th February. A date which doesn't actually exist.
Jono Read
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Among the very many dispiriting things about that racist phone call to David Lammy is the fact that the woman thought it was perfectly ok to say such offensive things - on national radio. The last few years have simply legitimized bigotry. The political discourse has enabled it.
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This man - is the President of the United States of America.
It's like National Lampoon's
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Hi Matt - my Mum has Alzheimer's and has had to sell her home and spend her life savings on a slow painful decline over 6 years. Quick question - given your party has been in power all that time, why have you done absolutely nothing until now?
I am determined to end the injustice of people having to sell their home to pay for care.
So we will inject cash immediately & build a cross-party consensus that guarantees no one needing care will have to sell their home to pay for it.
dailymail.co.uk/news/article…
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Stop what you are doing.
Watch this.
Chris Patten - daring to tell you the truth in 2 minutes about the ocean of shit we are in.
#bbcqt
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Well I'd like to thank JD Vance and Donald Trump for making perhaps the strongest case for rejoining the EU that I've seen in 9 years.
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Boris Johnson backing Conservative party member has just called @lbc and told @SangitaMyska that Rishi Sunak "isn't even British". My jaw is officially on the floor.
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So the fuel crisis has nothing to do with Brexit but we can solve it by reversing Brexit legislation on visas.
What's THAT position called in yoga?
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Keep hearing commentators say "Nothing Vladimir Putin says can be trusted or taken at face value." And they're absolutely right. The problem is, that precisely the same words can be uttered about Boris Johnson.
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If Steve Barclay brings the same skill, leadership and determination to his new role as Health Secretary that he brought to his time as Brexit Minister I predict that we'll all be dead by the end of the year.
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This is properly funny. Stay with it. He goes full Partridge
What's the new MP for Clacton doing out here in Milwaukee? 🇺🇸
@maitlis asks @Nigel_Farage...
@GlobalPlayer
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The Polish chef who took on the London bridge terrorist despite being stabbed is called Luckasz. And Luckasz deserved a George Cross.
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Having backed the wrecking ball of Brexit, the dimwitted Nadine Dorries now seems intent on destroying the BBC. She epitomises the worst kind of mutton headed libertarian vandal. Smashing up everything that offends their inadequacy.
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Your. Gas. Bill. Has. Nothing. To. Do. With. Refugees.
Energy bill with the discount for a 78-year-old pensioner. How the fk are they supposed to afford this. All you supporters refugees are welcome here. Sitting lovely and warm, no bills to pay. Fkn great, eh. LOOK AFTER OUR OWN . #NOTOREFUGEES. #GETTHEMOUT. IT'S A FKN DISGRACE.
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"I farm just under 5,000 acres myself,"
Says multi-multimillionaire Lord Lloyd Webber, whose descendants will now presumably have to pay inheritance tax on it.
The "ordinary farmers" are really out in force huh.
GB News
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So Lineker steps down, but BBC chairperson Richard Sharp, who helped facilitate an £800,000 loan for Boris Johnson and who's personally donated £400,000 to the Conservative party stays in his job ... got it... impartiality
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Thoughts:
● UK didn't vote for Musk and most of us think he's a bit of a dick.
● The last time the convicted liar Tommy Robinson stood for parliament he won 2.2% of the vote – and lost his £5,000 deposit .
●People who back either man are a tiny minority in this country.
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Wait till The Mail hears about the £1 million a year Daily Mail columnist, who left his 2nd wife for Tory Party's former head of communications - 24 years his junior - before fucking the country with his incompetence.
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If you really, genuinely, think that Keir Starmer's beer is equivalent to the multiple Downing Street breaches, the uninvestigated Cummings incident and Johnson's incessant lies and rule breaking - for which he has been fined... you've either been 'ad or you're fucking stupid
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Matt Hancock makes it to the I'm a celebrity final. That's Matt Hancock who didn't give a fuck as he ignored the very rules that he'd put in place. The rules that prevented millions of us from hugging loved ones as they died or holding proper funerals. You arseholes #ImACelebrity
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That's the way to behave. Take note @BorisJohnson
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Hey, MAGA Americans ... we don't pay those tariffs, the EU doesn't pay those tariffs.... China does not pay those tariffs...
YOU pay those tariffs.
You just got taxed to within an inch of your lives.
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Oh and speaking for my own teenage kids - they did their national service by abiding by the rules of lockdown, getting their jabs and doing their bit for this country even as their education was shot to pieces. Meanwhile the fuckers in the fucking Tory party partied and ate cake.
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I firsr met Jacob Rees-Mogg when he was about 23. He sat at a lunch table and shared opinions that were so fucking dim witted that I thought he was joking. He wasn't joking.
And thirty years later - the joke is on us.
Stop voting for stupid people with posh accents.
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Imagine if Sadiq Khan had said he'd been talking to Allah about his transport strategy for London.
Theresa May reveals how her faith in God gives her confidence she is 'doing the right thing' ind.pn/2gNByCS
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Fun fact: If you have an Irish passport and live in Britain, you now have more rights here and across Europe than a British passport holder. The UK Government has literally made its own people second class citizens in their own country.
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Two bits of advice to those planning to go into higher education
● study what interests you and not what you think will get you a highly paid job. Life is short. You'll be happier, more fulfilled and probably go on to do better things with your life
● Don't vote Conservative
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Farage and his army of imbeciles making our country look like fools to the very end. Fuck off you imbecile and take your empty headed tin pot nationalists with you.
Michael Jones
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Matt Hancock talking up his chances of being PM, very much reminding me of the time I announced to my primary school class that when I grew up I was going to be Luke Skywalker.
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Journalists like Toby Young, who deny the seriousness of this pandemic and who know sweet FA about science and virology, should not be invited onto newsnight. End. Of.
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Boris Johnson - father of an indeterminate number of children - doesn't know the words to "the wheels on the bus." His John Redwood moment
Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺
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Nigel Farage isn't tweeting much at the moment so here he is in 2011.... #FarageRiots
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Still, very well done Sajid Javid for demonstrating that someone COULD indeed be a worse Health Secretary than Matt Hancock
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I just want to live in a country where there's fuel in the pumps, food on the shelves and the opportunity to go abroad easily if I feel like it. Apparently that makes me a traitor or something.
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Nigel Farage isn't the answer to your problems, Britain. He is the cause of them.
Every single fucking stupid thing he has advocated across the last twenty years has now been adopted and every stupid fucking thing has turned out to be an absolute fucking disaster.
#bbcqt
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Britain is not being invaded. People coming here in boats are not going to harm you, take your jobs, displace you, attack you or affect you in any way, shape or form. Stop being gullible. Stop listening to people who want to whip you into hate. They have no fucking answers at all
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Wondering if this footage of a cracker in my kitchen can achieve higher viewing figures than #GBNews
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The Rwandan one way ticket scheme is rooted in the fundamentally racist notion that all black people are "the same" and can simply "get sent back" to Africa. The Tories are no longer in UKIP territory. This is 1970s National Front stuff.
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Absolutely nuts isn't it. The UK-NZ trade deal benefits New Zealand but the UK government's own figures show it will actually shrink the UK economy. And still our government heralds it as a triumph and still there are millions who fall for it.
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Zac Goldsmith. Evidence you can be born to a billionaire, go to Eton and Oxford, become an MP on the back of no discernible talent, fail to get elected Mayor, lose your seat twice and yet still rise above it all to be made a Peer by an old family friend. Such a heartwarming story
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As long as public school educated, middle aged, white millionaire ex politicians believe they can explain "home truths" to black people - there's a fucking problem.
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Hope your prosecco didn't go flat in the 2 minutes you popped outside
Thank you to those wonderful people who care for all of us when we need it the most. Tonight, we clapped for all of you.
#ThankYouNHS #ClapForCarers
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27 human beings. People's babies. Raised and loved. Invested with dreams and hopes, fears and ambitions. Seeking sanctuary in a country they think will improve their lot. Lost at sea and lost forever. Utterly, utterly tragic.
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If you want to vote for this blustering haystack of lies go for it. He's completely fucking useless and will destroy what's left of the UK. A self serving, entitled prick who only made it in life because Daddy had a thick filofax of contacts. As appealing as a bag of sick
#Marr
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Farage is a nobody now. No LBC platform, no political role, no significance beyond his silly pronouncements. His "party" has no MPs or MEPs. Maybe it's time to simply ignore him.
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Some added context:
Important context here:
● over half UK farms are less than 49 acres (20 hectares)
● "a big farm" is 217 acres.
Now let's compare:
● Clarkson farm 1,000 acres
● Lloyd Webber farm 4,000 acres
● Viscount Rothermere 4,700 acres
● Dyson farm 36,000 acres
"I farm just under 5,000 acres myself,"
Says multi-multimillionaire Lord Lloyd Webber, whose descendants will now presumably have to pay inheritance tax on it.
The "ordinary farmers" are really out in force huh.
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France is one of our oldest and most important allies. To snub Macron to garner a few cheap votes off the idiot wing of the Tory membership is idiotic and vile. Truss is vile
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This story makes absolutely no sense. How is someone earning just £12,500 sending their child to a private school in the first place?
Private schools are only for the wealthy & 'elite'?
Try telling that to Monica, a single mother earning £12,500 p.a., and the thousands like her.
"This tax won’t target the wealthy, it’s going after hard-working families and single mothers.”
telegraph.co.uk/money/tax/sc…
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The Spitfire behind Farage's head is MH434 - one of the most famous survivors of WW2.
Its pilot was an immigrant - Henry Lardner-Burke
Born in South Africa Henry came here and fought for the RAF and later took a home from a British person presumably - when he settled for good
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