I found an old newspaper...yessss!
Little Rock, AR
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I’ve posted a lot of things on this app about @OW_Esports, and my silliest one to date was the cause of my very first broadcast appearance. Thank you @Soembie for the shout out and @JawsCasts and @Reinforce for the great reaction to my goofy suggestion!
piped.video/clip/UgkxfdKyubj…
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That vodka once met a cranberry. They weren’t close friends. They never went to dinner together or anything, but they’d stop and say hello if they passed each other on the street.
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My favorite Chef Reactions are the ones where a bunch of folks tag you asking you to roast somebody and you're like "no, man, that's a hardworking person feeding their family and doing a pretty good job at it. High five, person."
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I swear, the number of other lawyers who flip out when someone works from home and turns over a load of laundry on “company time” blows my mind. We can literally see a spike in productivity when people have schedule autonomy but some folks HAVE to feel like they control someone.
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“Looks like the median is…fourteen skittles and what might be a quarter but is probably a button.”
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"I tricked you into self care" is my love language and I am grateful every day that my wife speaks it fluently.
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The only reasonable response. A week or so? Sure--that's just showing a little grace to someone in an inconvenient spot. Several months? Now hold on, boss.
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Bearded dudes with metal detectors are like rednecks with winches. It makes their whole year when they have an excuse to be useful with them.
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“I done told you once you son of a bitch I’m the best that’s ever been” should be on our flag.
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Labor Day week is a great proof of concept. Everybody I work with was productive as hell and super happy this week. That extra day is huge.
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"We couldn't find a single driver today who did agree with it."
"Stay tuned for our coverage on rat traps. We surveyed 100 rats and their feelings may surprise you!"
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When you view politics as a team sport instead of something that actually impacts people’s lives, you can believe that kind of thing.
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Real strong men aren’t intimidated by strong, intelligent, impressive women. Congratulations to her on an awesome accomplishment!
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Me, putting ice from my freezer in my glass instead of chipping it directly from a glacier: "Am I lowering my standards?"
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I've got to see his message logs. Something is happening in there. I don't know what it is, but it's bound to be fascinating.
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There is a Trader Joe’s, Cheesecake Factory, Apple Store and Lego Store in that shopping center. My living room is more dangerous.
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This reminds me that I need to thank you for your amazing donation to the kitten orphanage. They said to tell you they had no idea someone so glamorous could be so generous. (Also thank you for teaching the kittens to speak. So impressive!)
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Everyone’s missing the most important part of this video that leads to one question:
What’s the dog’s name?
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There's a fine line between enthusiasm and addiction. Fortunately, "betting on Little League" is nowhere near that line. It is very, very far on the wrong side of the line.
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Putting inappropriate books in the library? The Library of Congress? Where EVERY book goes?
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Harry: Come on, Ron, let's finish this thing. *big sip from a Bud Heavy, deep pull from a Marlboro red, belches, scratches, groans as he stands up from his recliner.*
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Old boy’s response was “you’re a little too ugly for me, too.”
1) it’s AJ Lee we’re talking about, Jer. Many of us have eyes that can see. Bit of a reach there, bud.
2) Too? TOO? Buddy, it’s bad enough that you’re guilty of the crime. Being proud of it is a capital offense.
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If I had a nickel for every time I heard you say "Lorne Michaels officially has is now one Saturday Night Live two ratings NBC of on broadcast television!" then I'd have a shitload of nickels.
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They’re gonna respond by being like “there’s a Milwaukee Street in the outskirts of Minneapolis! That’s what she was talking about!”
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The "probably" is what concerns me. Saudi Arabia is governed by uncodified Sharia law. Could I have a drink or two and be fine? Yeah, probably. Could I also have a drink or two and end up in front of a judge who isn't bound by precedent? Maybe.
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I would laugh my ass off at “Austin” and mock him relentlessly for never knowing the love of a woman.
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“How do you have the time???”
When the grocery store is a short walk away it’s no big deal.
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A law school graduate with fantastic prior experience and references! I respect folks who work/have worked in food service, but damn, she had a knockout resume full of stuff relevant to the law. The summer job wouldn’t have improved it at all.
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And it's not even the right kind of bougie. I love a bougie restaurant, but I don't care how they fry anything because I'm not ordering fried foods in a bougie restaurant--I'm only ordering fried food at places where I don't care if the kitchen is a warzone.
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The memory hole is effective. Of course their hero couldn’t have been in office when the bad thing happened. Next is the George Floyd protests. They’re going to talk about how Biden/Harris should’ve handled them differently.
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You’re gonna—you’re gonna make fun of the guy—you’re gonna make fun of the guy who just married a pop star in an EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLAR SUIT?
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Next tier is selling burgers and fries and getting belligerent when people try to order coffee.
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And he’s impossibly consistent over years and years. I’m reasonably sure he’s a time traveler who’s just trolling us.
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It broke my heart when you gave a beloved family recipe, my great great grandma’s bacon wrapped, bbq, dry pasta and cheese filled bologna tube, a “1 out of 10 but would probably eat half.”
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So anyway, be on the lookout for my new book: “Abundance? No thanks. I prefer scarcity.”
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Videoing people in public and posting it on the internet is a heinous violation of the social contract.
One which I would pay to participate in here. I need (not want—NEED) to see the meep meep couple.
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Excuse me, sir, mine is from [boring golf course] and [local country club] and I await your apology.
(The first part is not a joke. slim fit polo and quarter zip 'til I die. It's basically a tribal uniform at this point.)
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Particularly for commissioned staff, it’s a great way for the dealership to be sure you work your ass off. I once spoke to a manager at a pretty toxic firm about how they loved young associates to buy a big house, nice car, and start having kids because “then they’re stuck.”
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Much like with bears, keeping yourself safe from trucks and drivers involves making yourself appear as large as possible. As you can see in this video, you need to appear, at least, slightly larger than a construction dumpster.
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Better question: Do new Overwatch players know that, at one point, a cat did a FANTASTIC JOB at balancing the game?
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Will one of my fellow competitive OW degenerates tag me when we get an answer for this? I thought Sym was banned in map 7.
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"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Get you a man who will shoot you straight in all things, including the pokeymans.
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As a registered County Club White who isn’t completely oblivious (at least most of the time) it’s been an opportunity for several gentle conversations. “You’re right. That officer did lie in writing. I wonder how often that happens? Couldn’t be the first time, I imagine.”
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Old boy had to stop speaking and join the counter chant. Dude. That's weak. You're running for office, not in the crowd at Monday Night Raw.
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It's all contextual. If you're playing smart, not spamming, and you don't do some bullshit like spam it in spawn after you die, then I really do appreciate the ping.
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You know what I love about botox? The same people who are like "I don't know what's in all these vaccines!" will willingly put it into their face. We know what's in there, y'all. It's botulism.
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You ever watch fireflies? One will light up for the briefest moment and then, dozens of feet away, another one will flash. Relatively, the two are practically in different time zones, but they do this little light dance in the hope that they'll find each other.
This is you.
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If I was allowed to play from the front tees or if an average LPGA player was forced to play from the blues, I would definitely beat the pro in number of beers consumed per round.
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I have a games subscription and not an articles subscription so it’s like 90% there already.
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It was so damn silly during the most intense, stressful year. The setup was 10 months of tension and the punchline could not have been any better.
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I need all my fellow 40+ men to listen. If you ever see her take the podium and hear someone shout that mother is mothering, mortgage the house and bet the whole thing on a Kamala win.
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NO DO NOT. You have to dispose of it correctly or else it won’t be undone. Speak the old words:
"Let me tell you what to do. Dig a pit that's ten by two. Ash and elm and rowan too."
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That is fantastic. It’s the one good thing to come out of Nextdoor. Someone gets on there and asks if anyone has a chainsaw or a cutting torch or whatever and the ground shakes as the diesel engines start. It’s turned every neighborhood into the rural county I grew up in.
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