Husband and father. Blocked by Rudy, Moms for Liberty, AwakenedOutlaw. Totally not family of badgers in a human suit. Earning a BA in SPED.
Chicagoland
- Tweets 121,405
- Following 10,881
- Followers 14,325
- Likes 241,437
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I want to make something clear, because I know that MAGA will say "TDS." I'm not upset that he's President during our 250th anniversary. I'm upset that he's centering himself, like he always does.
If Kamala Harris was pulling what he's pulling, Republicans would be rightfully mad
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The Party of Closed Borders is waking up to the fact that their Senate candidate in PA is a Turkish Citizen from New Jersey. It's pretty hilarious to watch.
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My wife and my mother both have bad knees, so I have a handicap placard for my car. One day I was getting Mom's powered wheelchair out of the trunk, and some guy said "must be nice, getting the handicapped spaces."
I said "Yeah, it totally makes up for not being able to walk."
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These MAGA who are talking about writing in #45's name in the Senate runoff. Do they know that he can't legally serve as Senator in a State he doesn't live in?
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I've had three MAGA in the past 24 hours insult my looks. I usually take that to mean I won the argument.
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I just took the bandage off where I got my shot, and a tiny voice said "Connection to server complete." Is that a common side effect?
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To me, the wildest part about the Bobo Beetlejuice fiasco was when she was asked about it later. When told that her date had hosted drag shows at his bar, she said "He won't be getting a second date."
So, just to be clear. She was giving a hand job to that guy ON THE FIRST DATE.
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I've been posting a couple pics of #45's penthouse in NYC in mockery of people making a fuss about President Biden's freaking watch. It reminded me of a question I've been meaning to ask for a while. Am I the only one who thinks his decor looks ugly as Hell?
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My son plays with dollhouses. If you think that's effeminate, that's your problem, not his.
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Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg had to go on national television to tell people not to put gasoline in plastic bags.
This is where we are right now.
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Anyone remember when sandwich bags weren't sealable? They just had a flap that you could tuck in on the other side?
It's a miracle we survived such dark times.
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"WE HAVE A BABY FOOD SHORTAGE! WHAT ARE THE LIBS GONNA DO ABOUT IT!? NOTHING BUT TALK, OF COURSE! NO ACTION!"
"Here's our plan to fix the problem."
"NO!"
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The insane replies in this thread, my God.
"I don't want the cancer cure vaccine because it will give me cancer!"
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It occurs to me that this is along the same lines as White people crying about Black people having a month.
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Just inside how all those alt right Christian white supremacists will feel when Jesus comes back and he looks like this.
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Who else just *loves* it when you're reading an interesting tweet, and then Twitter refreshes and you lose it forever?
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Has anybody given any thought to the troubling notion that, assuming #45 loses this year, he will try to run again in 2024?
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He should invest in tiny violin manufacturers. They're making a mint off of MAGA crybabies.
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My son is speech delayed. He turned three in November, but his vocabulary is at the level of someone who just turned 2. So you can imagine my surprise when I gave him a lolipop today, and he said "Thank you."
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I see two options.
1) He never had it.
2) He's on so many drugs that you could tear his arm off and he wouldn't notice.
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When my son turned 3, I decided it was time to stop calling him "Baby Boy." But that's always how I'm going to think of him, right?
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PRO TIP: TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES YOU RIGHT. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE WRONG WHEN YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS.
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Well, I did it. Over ten years after finally getting an Associate's Degree, I registered for the fall semester at Northeastern Illinois University to work on my Bachelor's Degree.
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Hey, guys. It's not my birthday, I'm cool with the number of followers I have currently, I'm feeling mentally and physically fine, and I don't really care for pet pictures.
That's the tweet.
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So far, the consensus is that by 2024, #45 will be dead, in prison, or a vegetable. And that I'm a bad man.
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I got cut off in traffic by a guy with a bumper sticker that says "Impeach Biden." I was tempted to pull up next to him and say "For what?"
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Did anyone ever get back to Louie Gohmert about changing the Moon's orbit? I'd hate to leave the guy hanging.
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Nancy was so upset at winning the election, that she decided to stop the certification. Sure, that checks out.
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Oh man, I pity the Millennial who Googles Lorena Bobbitt to find out what you're talking about.
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As folks who follow my feed know, my son is almost 3, and speech delayed. Tonight, as I was getting him ready for bed, I told him to say goodnight to Mama. He said "ni ni, mama." My wife said "I love you." He said back "Wuv oo." He's never said that before. We were both amazed.
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It's been brought to my attention that you can't write in a candidate in a run-off. So, I guess this whole topic is moot anyway.
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BREAKING: Sen. Fled Cruz (R-Cancun) has just announced that he is Pro-Choice. Thank you for taking such a bold stand for women's reproductive rights, Senator.
Your health decisions are yours to make.
It shouldn't be your boss, the government, or anyone else forcing you to make those decisions.
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I saw one person say, without any irony, that it was very suspicious that so many unvaccinated are dying.
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I feel like some people I'm following have muted me. So if you don't reply to this tweet, I'll assume you're one of them.
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Now that I gained a bunch of new followers for talking about Oxford commas, let's see how many I lose over this:
It is grammatical to end an English sentence with a preposition.
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At the same time, it's an odd book to take that firm of a stance on. It's not like your said your live the works of Marquis du Sade, or the Gor novels.
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Which corner should I call? The corner where the accident happened, or the corner where his mother works?
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I'm thinking of eating a whole brick of gouda for dinner. What do you guys think, yay or nay?
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Who was your first celebrity crush when you started entering puberty?
I'll start. It's a toss up between Julia Roberts and Cindy Crawford.
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I was on Parler, posing as a MAGA around the time of January 6th. There was a lot of very scary stuff happening on there. I shared a lot of it at the time. I figure I'll post some of the more eyebrow-raising ones here to remind people of just what was going on then.
/thread
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Maybe the police should have been told that BLM and Antifa was going to be in DC today. Then they would have been prepared for all this.
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It doesn't occur to them that some people don't or can't drive, but still need the spaces.
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Wait, so he pulled a ridiculous stunt designed to catch the attention of the President, right at the same time he's being investigated for crimes? What an odd coincidence!
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I saw a post from Roger Stone bragging about how he hit the gym, and how scared the Libs are because of it. Can you imagine how sad his life must be? That he needs to imagine his (imaginary) enemies' reaction to everything he does in order to get a sense of self worth?
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His three sources:
1) His uncle who received a Medical Discharge from the Air Force, but still "knows guys" in there.
2) This guy he met at a bar last night who "sounded legit."
3) His dog.
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Man, those libs are really going all out on his coronavirus hoax. I'm starting to think maybe they aren't making all this up.
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Guys, since this is the Fourth of July, let's not forget all those brave soldiers who defended our airports during the Revolutionary War.
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I've been seeing claims among QAnon that all the 2021 COVID-related deaths have been among the vaccinated. Proof? None, of course.
How do we combat this kind of flat-out lying?
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Guys, a quick reminder about next week's Antifa meeting. Please do not bring any electronic devices to the meeting. We're all vaccinated, and we don't know the effect our magnetized bodies will have in confined quarters. Better safe than sorry.
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#Resister sisters and brothers. Who wants to keep the #resistance going with me here on Twitter? And please, tell me where you're from.
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I wasn't going to post a reply, since so many other people already called you out for your obvious inability to grasp what my Senator said. But I will anyway, because ratio'd.
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I've had a few MAGA show up on this thread to try and defend their Glorious Leader. Exactly one of them said anything about the penthouse (it's a "bit much," but not ugly). Everyone else attacked President Biden. I think that tells me all I need to know.
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Tell us you have no idea how socialism works, without telling us you have no idea how socialism works.
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Ever notice you're being blocked by someone you don't recognize, and you're like "I wonder what I did to deserve that?"
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Future generations will remember these coming days, when brave rednecks drove their trucks to Texas to defend their right to murder children with razor wire.
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