Since being faithful to wives is a hot topic right how, I’d like to share my imperfect story because I believe some men will resonate with parts of it.
In late 2020 I got married to Kara. This was after a year of very purposeful dating and a lot of difficult conversations and situations both of us were in due to external pressure, internet drama, and extended family issues.
But getting married was rad. I got to be with my best friend all the time, who at the time was my only friend I could confide in after a brutal day at work or dealing with stupidity on the internet. However… being the driven person that I am, I was very selfish. I wanted to stay up late every night working, or play video games, shoot on the range on Saturdays, and didn’t pay as much attention to her as I should have. Some of this was coping with baggage I had from my upbringing, and video games being my coping mechanism so I wouldn’t have to talk about anything. I bottled most things up and couldn’t talk about my feelings well.
After a couple years of this, it was apparent we weren’t doing well. Multiple times I broke down not knowing what to do and how to make things better. But, we started seeing a marriage counselor. Every week for a year we met with a counselor who helped us work through our issues. About 2/3 of the time it was obvious that I was the problem. Not being empathetic enough, not trying to understand her, or being willing to sacrifice for her often. That was hard, but it wasn’t a shock to me. We worked through a LOT of stuff. And it wasn’t easy. And after we stopped seeing our counselor, we each got our own therapists and have continued seeing them individually off and on. (that reminds me, I need to book another appointment in week or two)
Our marriage is better now than it ever has been. Even when we first got married and had the “honeymoon” phase.
I’m not a perfect husband. Kara isn’t a perfect wife. No couples will be perfect. The question is: what will YOU do about it? Will you fight for it? Run from it? Cheat on it?
If this story sounds familiar because you’re a guy in a similar situation, go get counseling or individual therapy. Get an unbiased third party (not someone related lol) to hear both of you out and LEARN how to be respectful and loving in a relationship. I questioned the usefulness of therapy/counseling at first, but have seen it work first hand for me and my wife and know it has saved a lot of marriages.
Fight for your wife. Don’t be a pussy.