“Ran” is a generous verb for what occurred. But we had a blast

I’m not sure if I should be offended or flattered.

Officially done being a Chiefs fan this season!!

Buffalo is awesome, the energy is contagious. Such an incredible experience!!

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles, my former teammates, and friends on being SB LIX Champions!! There were a lot of emotions last night, and now that I’ve collected my thoughts, I’ll attempt to share them in the longest tweet ever. That game was odd for me to watch if I’m being completely honest. I knew it was going to be mixed emotions before, during, and after, and I now know what my parents had to deal with two years ago. On one hand, I wanted what is best for my brother, and to see his success. And on the other hand, there are so many people, teammates, and coaches, in the Philadelphia Eagles organization that I care deeply about, Many of whom I owe my own success to throughout my career. I am very proud for Jalen Hurts, Nick Sirianni, and this entire team. They have persevered greatly, answered their critics amazingly, and proved themselves to be undoubtedly the best team this season. It is extremely difficult for a team in the NFL to have enough talent, coaching, fortune, and character to win a Super Bowl. The character and swagger of this Eagles team was something truly special to behold. A true representation of the toughness and grit that makes Philadelphia what it is. Well done fellas, well fucking done. As for my brother, There isn’t a person I love or care about more. It has been tough to process these feelings, of course I feel for him and am always rooting for him, but I know he does not need, nor want my pity. He has amassed greatness few on this planet could ever dream of, as has his team, and they should feel pride in their accomplishments this season and in the past. I know right now they are still thinking of last night and the shortcomings in the last game, But in time that will fade, and the greatness they have exhibited as a group will remain as one of the most dominant eras of football ever. Man I love this sport, the people that play it, and the fans that enjoy it. Nothing else like it. Congratulations Philadelphia, I look forward to the speeches and celebrations that will happen in the coming days. I mean who doesn’t love a parade! In the words of Chase Utley “World Fucking Champs”, and to all the haters out there, remember what my man Jay Ajayi said “Fuck Em” Go Birds

Now that’s funny!

And the truth shall set you free

I have put much thought into whether it makes sense to play another season. After talking it over with my wife and many other friends and family, I have decided to return for another year. Thank you to all my supporters and detractors for fueling me, I ain’t fucking done yet!

I mean this video being 1.3 million views is the epitome of numerology

This photo is fucking incredible

Looks like he’s auditioning for a new Wes Anderson film

Obviously I’m the one that’s gonna show cleavage. The bookies weren’t willing to take that loss by offering that bet.

Oh my god, there’s already 976k watching this live, what in the actual fuck

I also have a superstar in my corner. @JakeStateFarm

No Keg videos this year, I have come to a decision and will address it at a press conference this afternoon.

This is the most wild start to an NFL season of all time. First play of the game, one player is carted off, the other ejected. I mean everyone knows you don’t spit, you swallow obvi

What in the fuck just happened

Well that was fun, these dudes are ridiculously good! GO FUCKING BIRDS!!

No it isn’t, it’s just a regular ass Monday. Eat a mango if you want, but don’t let Big Mango fool you into this nonsense.

PREACH!!!! Go Birds!

I mean, if I’m being honest Kylie went out and bought them last minute and packed them for me.

Man, Im not gonna lie, that was tight. Well done @tkelce, doesn’t get much cooler than that!

Responding to this, because I have seen a number of people say it. I don’t think of Kylie as a homemaker, I think of her as my wife. I think of her as a mother. She has an occupation, as do I, and we keep our house the best we can. Our marriage is a partnership, we are equals who are figuring it out on the daily. The only expectation is that we love each other, support one another, and are committed to our family, that comes first. We both raise our kids, we both work, We both keep our home. It is both our faults it is messy, but such is life with 3 young children, busy schedules, and neither of us being neat freaks. She also makes a mean sandwhich. If being a homemaker, works for some, and that’s what they want, then hell yea, that’s awesome, more power to you. I want to be clear, I’m not downplaying that at all, but that is not our family dynamic.

My wife Kylie says this often. Embarrassing her is one of the great joys in my life.

What kind of weirdo washes their feet….

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…

For the life of me, I don’t understand why Giants fans hate Saquon for what happened, and not the Giants organization for the fact he is an Eagle. They have absolutely no one to blame other than the Giants ownership and management decisions for why he is no longer a Giant. Obviously understand their hate of the Eagles, and desire for him not to succeed, just very odd this energy is directed at him more so than the organization…

New Newsssss!!!

I don’t play dress up

This might literally be your Grandmother’s sweater!

Not gonna lie, this was fucking awesome

Operation “Get Elijah His Mask Back” is underway! I appreciate everyone bringing this to my attention, and look forward to uniting Elijah with his mask once again. Your mask indeed brings great fortune, I owe you big time, sorry it was commandeered nbcdfw.com/news/local/dallas…

Couldn’t agree more, how is it even possible to film that many commercials. Wyatt sees enough of me, she doesn’t need to see more of Dad’s face or shitty jokes in 4K! She does love Hank though

Shit, I wish I could spit bars like that!

In the episode today, we screwed up the punt return from the game that was muffed. Apologize for getting this wrong, couldn’t tell from the angle listed that it did in fact hit his teammates foot. I should have done more research before commenting. I apologize for the error

If he needs an Oline coach I’m available…

Do not let Travis’s beautiful face, your love for Taylor Swift, or how unbelievably cool George Kittle is, distract you from the fact that this holiday is bullshit!!

Last 24 hours

MVP

I grew up on these products Calley, and I was a perfectly healthy fit child, because I enjoyed them in moderation and when on the go for quick meals when both my parents didn’t have time to cook. I appreciate you spreading information on what is healthy for people and kids, and I take the obesity epidemic as a country and for kids seriously, but there is also room to eat cereal and ice cream and candy in the right quantities in conjunction with a healthy lifestyle.

This funniest headline I’ve ever read!!!!

I told yall they are poisonous…

Hahahaha, up until last week I thought the griddy was a mascot for the Flyers

I’ll admit I am all of these adjectives at times, but if you think these are the only words that I represent I highly recommend you watch my documentary on Amazon. Very successful, and while playful, still has a lot of values about life, family, fatherhood, and marriage that you would appreciate I think. Also my retirement speech, while admittedly crying much more than I wanted to, is a different tone than my buffoonery as well.

I normally don’t comment on things like this, but I feel I need to address that there are a number of accounts posting fake quotes and attributing them to me on this platform right now. I appreciate @X putting community notes on several and I will not address the other accounts specifically, because I do not want to amplify their engagement. But please know, unless you hear something directly from me via one of my platforms, it is not real.

But does it have an enlarged heart…. Can this horse do it with a broken heart! @tkelce

Wow, Detroit just ran the ball down their throat. Holy shit that was an impressive drive in overtime!! I’ll be up for another 2 hours because of that, adrenaline is through the roof!

Man who’s this Saquon Barkley guy?? Like it when he gets the ball

I know it looks like a graduation from the video, but this was actually at the end of a New Heights Live podcast that we put on to raise money for the University’s NIL. The university did this to poke fun at my brother and I for never really picking up our diplomas.

Solid game day fit

What. A. Fucking. Game…. Dougie P keeping the Jaguars together coming out of half, incredible perseverance by the Jags!

There is no such thing as a boneless wing, it’s nonsense. Show me these boneless winged chickens. It’s just clever marketing for people who are afraid to get there fingers dirty. Boneless chicken wings are just chicken meat balls fried and covered in sauce

My grandparents just died and the grammar police think this is the time!!! (jk they’ve been dead for awhile).

This is incredibly humbling, thank you to all for supporting!!

Eagles 1-0, great first game of the year against a very good Packers team. Sloppy game, but when they were executing man, they are rolling. Lot of good in this one, clean up some of the first game jitters on O, and stop the explosives on D and we are rolling baby!!

I think it’s more flattered, it’s a generous bird, good sized head

She was Soo excited when she first saw him, basically running with her arms at first when we start going over. Once we got up close, her face changed, she was frozen…

Travis was supposed to ask you?!!! @tkelce

Headed into the Kansas City tailgate scene before the game today. Probably hitting lots C and D, anybody have any recommendations on things I have to hit, or a tailgate Shaman that can show me the ropes this afternoon?

I promise you, for the longevity of his career Jordan Love does not want my leg!

Me, @wilfork75 and @kingsford? Retirement is officially on – let’s get some charcoal on the grill and have a good time. #KingOfTheGrill #ad

I don’t care what some crackpot doctor on WebMD says, it is ridiculous to assume a purring cat is going to increase bone strength in any measurably significant amount. Running, lifting weights, eating a well balanced diet, these are things that improve bone strength. Sitting on your ass while a cat purrs on you is not doing a damn thing for your bones Jenna

This son of a gun actually did it!! Magic Mahomes

Is two right foots a catch? That’s still two steps right? That feels like it should be a catch

Oh man, that was mouthful!

Man they are not messing around with these tackles alignments. And to be fair, Stanley is still to far back!

So happy to find this account! Honored to be highlighted by the most honorable of positions.

Good luck to the Bombers tonight and Uncle Zach as he starts his 5th straight Grey Cup. Let’s go Boys!! #greycup

Sports build character, way to go Ky! 🤤🤤🤤

This is the biggest load of Cat Pseudoscience I’ve ever heard! You can’t tell me you actually believe this.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Calley I appreciate that this is your work and that you are trying to raise awareness for something very serious in our food intake. That being said, once again, I have no problem endorsing a product I have consumed and one my kids have consumed. I’m joking at my dad here giving it to us, Now that I am a father, my kids get cereal/high processed foods occasionally, I also sit there and eat blueberries/blackberries with them some mornings and tell them how important fruits and veggies are, we make them eggs when we have time. I am very forward about my weight loss goals now that I no longer play in the NFL and believe I preach overall a healthy lifestyle, but one that enjoys all of these things at times. Me joking on a podcast with my brother about this doesn’t take away that it is still okay to have these products in moderation. Do you not feed your children any processed foods, do you never enjoy ice cream and candy? If so, good for you, but that isn’t how I live. I have eaten Reese’s puffs on occasion for the last 30 years, it’s not like I’m promoting something I don’t actively consume myself. We have talked about consuming these products for free on our podcast many times, because there is nostalgia associated with them, and they were our favorites. Please continue your work in educating and promoting healthy eating habits.

Please tell me there’s a hot dog eating competition for OL/DL!! This is so awesome, the skill competitions were always more fun to watch anyways.

I hope you enjoy this beautiful duet with my wife and I! As the holidays approach, cherish the moments you have with those around you, the memories will last a lifetime! (This is the second tweet, hopefully this works this time)

I had Jake take that graphic down because that post had too many pictures of me. I wanted the post to be reflective of the guys who just won, not me. I didn’t win shit in this one, it felt weird to congratulate this team with a bunch of pictures of me.

Mom, you don’t have to bring cookies everywhere you go @dkelce1 @TODAYshow

Gotta have a tell going on here. What did Harper tell Bohm?

Yea, there all dead

Man I love football in the snow

The Golden Goat has called it a career. Him now gone, Him legacy shall always remain. Congrats Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. on dominating an entire era of football! @TomBrady

Take my money

Quoting this so more people see it. The tackle jumping the count thing is never gonna stop man. I get that a lot of these are false starts in slow motion, but in real time it all happens so fast, I think people don’t understand how hard it is for the official to really know if he left before the ball live from the sideline. There was at least one false start that legitimately could’ve been called in the game on Jawaan and Collinsworth called that one out. Usually if it’s close on jumping the snap for offense or defense the officials tend to let it go. Certainly get the frustration people have that Ronnie got called for a lot of frivolous stuff early, and the Chiefs didn’t. It’s one of the reasons I’m not a fan of the points of emphasis that these refs have to start seasons. It often leads to officials looking to make calls, and a lot of borderline or bad calls end up happening as a result. Also, I think Ronnie’s posture being so upright made it look worse than it actually was, especially the third one. In real time on TV I thought he was clearly off again, but on further review he is much closer to the line, and in an area they usually don’t call it. In the last one his feet are even with the Guards but he’s so upright his helmet looks much further back than the rest of the line. What are your thoughts on this stuff Mitch? Photo courtesy of @CoachSWach

I mean I feel like I’m basically already this guy. Fuck life comes at you fast

Give me a couple years, the metamorphosis is happening

Ask @PatrickMahomes right now @tkelce!!!! He’s definitely coming on the show after this game!

Great block Travislav!!

Guys, I love Canada, I have been bamboozled by our social team that failed to show the whole story. How could I not love poutine, maple syrup, and beavers!! I was actually rooting for the Blue Jays in a World Series that I didn’t care about. Seriously, Canada is the best, I was just talking shit about not being personally invested of caring that the team that spent the most money and built a super team won the World Series. That’s it. I am a known Canada advocate and Ice Hockey lover.

This is the coolest thing ever, it would literally be a dream come true Doug! Even if it doesn’t Keel! But I definitely want it too

Travis has been gracious enough to help out and sing on our Christmas album for a second year, and this year it hits extra close to home, in an ode to our hometown. I hope you enjoy this music video! If you want to support operation snowball you can do so here. phillyspecialchristmas.com/p…

If Travis boiled a baby, I’m gonna be real pissed #Grotesquerie

Hopefully Jordan Love is okay, love watching him play.