Author of 14 Top 10 bestsellers. New book Welcome To The Neighbourhood out now. Order here:
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Bargain Alert!!! Welcome to the Neighbourhood is 99p on UK Kindle for the month of June! bit.ly/4dUvF0W
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It’s utter mayhem outside! I took the sound off because we were watching something noisy but count them! COUNT THEM!!!
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I have awful news. My smart, funny, feisty, beautiful sidekick of the last 16 & a half years @myleftfang has passed away after a sudden down turn in her health at the weekend. My heart is broken in two. I have no idea what I’m going to do without her by my side. #Ollie
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OK we have a decision.... meet Pickle. Full name Picklicious Fatkins the First. #Pickle
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If I read one more wedding article that contains the words 'It's every little girl's dream to be a princess'...😡 No. It wasn't. It was my dream to be a writer. Or a gymnast. Or a professional tree climber. Or a cat. Never a princess. #TweetYourNonPrincessyLittleGirlDreams
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If you don’t like an author’s work, read something else.If you don’t like what a comedian is saying, don’t pay to see them. If you don’t want to see a non-binary Joan of Arc see another play. Art is art. You don’t have to like it, but in a civilised society you have to respect it
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I’m looking at my little girl & thinking how even after all the awful things she experienced in the 1st 4.5 years of her life she’s so sweet & trusting & how she just wants love, & that if nothing else they need to remove those 2 cats & ban Zouma from keeping any more animals 😡
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BIG NEWS!!! This will come as no surprise to anyone. We’ve fallen in love with Catkins - and her with us we think - and we’re keeping her! We’re going to rename her. (She was only called Catkins by the rescue). Any suggestions?#FosterFail #Obviously
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I was lying on by back in bed at 4am, with a pillow over my face to stop Pickle poking me & grabbing my hair & she came & lay on top of it. As I slowly suffocated all I could think of was that Ricky was never going to get off a murder rap by saying ‘I think the cat did it.’
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I just washed the sofa covers & hung them around the place to dry, because they were covered in cat hair and … oh ffs
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We gave her this taco the first day she came home two & a half years ago & he’s still her favourite thing in the world. I love her so much 🧡
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My lovely sister, Gerry, passed away at the weekend. Here we are last year when she was in the middle of chemo, but loving the straight wig after a lifetime of curls ♥️💔
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A relationship with an animal is such a privilege. To know you’ve earned their trust and love is unbelievably special. I never take it for granted. 🧡 #BeGoodToYourPets 🧡
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This is just the loveliest thing
I’ve loaned my ancient terrier to my dad as a #SupportDog during #SelfIsolation. He doesn’t need walks any more - just a garden, love and a lap. I miss him terribly, but this picture made me so happy ❤️
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Our relationship is so beautifully straightforward: I shower her with love and she flat out adores me. I wish everything in life was that simple 🧡
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Re Harry & Meghan: am I the only person torn between 1) I couldn't care less 2) Good for them and 3) I assume they'll pay back the £2.4 million we paid to renovate their home now. That could stock a lot of food banks.
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You might not have fallen on your feet but I do remember when you fell in a gutter, drunk, on the way back from a wedding and I had to drag you home by your tie #Winning
Jane really fell on her feet when she met me. Here she is in the royal receiving room before we take our box for the theatre. With all her friends, obviously.
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My cat is the frikken cutest thing in the world, and no one can convince me otherwise 🧡
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Would you rather a teenager who’s passionate about the world, whether you agree with her or not, or a teenager who spent all their time posting selfies and watching Love Island? Get over yourselves people trying to shout down a 16 year old who wants to contribute #GretaThunberg
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I just took myself off to a quiet corner of the house to do some yoga. 2 minutes later Ricky appeared to show me a bow & arrow he’d found & demonstrate how it worked. #Relaxing
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I took the picture on the left over 2 years ago & the one on the right about 20 minutes ago. First time I’ve walked past that park since 😂
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Every morning after I make the bed she takes her taco upstairs & puts him on the towel. Every morning. There’s no reason for a towel to be on the bed except she loves it for some reason, so now it has to stay there forever #Pickle ♥️
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I’ve been awake all night with the bastard sinus infection that’s doing the rounds. I feel as if my face has been run over by a truck. Me & Nurse Pickle have decamped to the sofa so that I can moan and snivel without keeping Ricky awake (or, hopefully infecting him)
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My baby lettuce is growing! I showed it to Ricky & he said ‘Don’t tell me you’re going to eat Lionel? You’ve known him since he was a leaf.’ So that’s it. Just growing it as a companion now. #FarmerJaneFail
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This has mainly been my view for the past 2 days as I’ve vomited my way through a stomach bug 🤮
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I bought some dungarees. Definitely on one of those lists of ‘Things women over (insert random age) should never wear’. I couldn’t be happier with my purchase.
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I got an amazing mirror for Christmas that has a x10 magnification and now I realise I haven’t wasted the whole of lockdown doing nothing, I’ve actually been growing a rather stunning moustache and beard #Winning
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Oh my heart!
I’m going to have a competition to name this lovely couple who now visit our new garden regularly. Signed copy of OverSharing for the winner. You have until midday tomorrow UK (Weds)
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Spending my birthday evening in Copenhagen on my own, eating pasta with Brussels sprouts, drinking a glass of Sancerre & reading a book on my phone. Couldn’t be happier. Unless Pickle was here.
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It’s coming up to a year since we lost our beautiful Ollie. This is one of the last photos I took of her. The attitude in that gorgeous scrawny little body! ♥️💔
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Bit of good news …
Kurt Zouma: Footballer has cats taken away by RSPCA after he was filmed kicking it news.sky.com/story/kurt-zoum…
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The first time I met my beautiful girl. November 2003. 💔
"She gorgeous, she's beautiful." - @JaneFallon, Nov 2003, the first words she said about @myleftfang when @rickygervais brought her into the green room on Jonathan Ross show. Words that remained true for a whole lifetime. A Queen of cats, never to be forgotten.
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She ran to the sofa and did this when we walked through the front door 🧡 What a greeting 🧡🧡
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Oh god, he’s got his ‘Any chance you could make me a sandwich’ face on 😩🧡🦊 #SandwichFace
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The flipping over! The little leg reaching out to make contact! The smile!!! You can see how happy she is to see me after I’ve been away for a couple of days. Anyone who says cats aren’t attached to their humans (however they show it) has never taken the time to get to know a cat
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The end of an era! Who wants it? Like this tweet before the end of tomorrow- Tuesday- GMT & I’ll draw one name at random and send it to you.
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Pickle update: she’s recovering well from her little surgery. She’s eaten 2 dinners & just subjected me to one of her ultra intense 10 minute love bomb cuddles ❤️
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This has actually killed me. #HappyCrying
This dog's face turned white while she spent half her life waiting at the shelter — look how HAPPY she is now! 😍 (via @OahuSPCA)
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I just took Pickle away to the country for a few days, so I could read through my first draft with no distractions. There were distractions.
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I’m reading this at the moment. It’s fabulous. @NiallHarbison ‘s work with dogs in Thailand is incredible and inspiring and, I imagine, draining and heartbreaking. Do buy it if you can.
My dream is to get her book to number 1. The charts close today. It’s 50/50.
Ordering a copy here would mean the world to me…
lnk.to/TinaTheDogWhoChangedt… (2/3)
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The job I gave Pickle today was to sit in my office & look beautiful while I worked. I think she’s nailed it.
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This morning’s work companion ❤️ I have written 13 words since 5.30 #FosterCat #Catkins
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My favourite picture from the NTAs - I love that you can see the details on my jump suit. By @RobinPopePhoto
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