I post about the problems we create for ourselves and how to solve them. Obsessed with the quest for peace, integrity and love. Coach. Poet. Zappa fan.

I help people understand and solve their most painful problems. Check out more details below or click the link to set up a time to talk about what you're wrestling with. calendly.com/deanabbott/clar…
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Guys are in my mentions complaining that a woman with an eight week old infant wouldn't take time away from the baby to make sure he has a hot dinner on the table when he comes home. This is the point I am making : You, as father, should want that mother to spend as much time as possible bonding with that baby or caring for herself. Putting your desire for a hot meal above these two shows a kind of whacked out thinking that has twisted your priorities. You are a grown man, you don't need her to make you dinner, especially in this situation. If you are old enough to make a baby, you're old enough to make a sandwich.
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Replying to @allie__voss
Even though the robot has no soul, the guys in this video are revealing theirs.
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Nobody wants to talk about how vulnerable highly agreeable women are, especially between the ages of about 18 to 25. Literally out there trying to be good people and fit in and get led down every kind of dark alley.
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DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. Make them look you in the eye and fire you. Then sue them.
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I cannot believe how many people miss the point of this. Whatever you think of Trump, don't get this twisted. He was honoring Charlie by using himself as a negative example. He was saying that he considers Charlie to have been a better man than he in this regard. Subtext, people.
🚨TRUMP: "Charlie did not hate his opponents. He wanted the best for them. That's where I disagreed with Charlie. I HATE my opponents and I DON'T want the best for them. I'm sorry Erika...Charlie is angry looking down at me right now." LMAO 😂😂😂
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Where is this "biblical principle" written?
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My mentions right now are filled with guys with anonymous accounts who must, in real life, be obstetricians because they are certain no woman really needs eight weeks to adjust after childbirth.
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This is how the Redpill stuff ruins relationships. It teaches men to indulge a sort of faux toughness to mask their crippling insecurity. A secure man would not be this quick to believe his wife would forget him. A secure man would not need the constant affirmation he gets from his wife's attentions. A secure man would be able to make emotional room for his child. Redpill rot is real.
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When I was a professor at a small, struggling college, I suggested we make classes optional for most students and just sell a four-year, residential program where students could live, work, play sports, socialize and receive some minor professional training. This was what the majority of students really wanted. Most of them saw their classes as an inconvenience. The idea was shot down, not because it wasn't based in an accurate perception, but because it was based on an untellable truth. To have implemented the idea would have required faculty and administrators to admit they weren't that important. They would have had to admit the college only stayed alive by taking loan money from kids who had no real intellectual ability or interest. Too many cherished delusions would have been shattered. The people in charge would rather have seen the college go under than to have faced the truth about themselves, their product and their market. Important lesson in there.
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Replying to @ericmetaxas
@ericmetaxas This is vile. Not funny. Completely beneath you or, at least, beneath the man you used to be.
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Human beings were not designed to experience multiple "break ups". The idea that "breaking up" is normal wreaks damage on the heart.
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A thread of thoughts after seeing "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" for the first time in decades: First, it is a deceptively simple film. Much more than a "teen movie", it is a fascinating symbolic representation of masculine psychological development.
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I have basically lost all interest in the movies. Am I alone?
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An important point to make about this post is that it's not the case, as some have said, that men aren't allowed to have feelings. The issue isn't his feelings, it's his attitude. If he had said, "I feel sad that I'm not getting as much attention from my wife", that would have been fine. The immaturity is in his assumption that his feeling sad obligates his wife to take her attention away from the infant and away from her efforts to heal herself. No one is repulsed by this guy's feelings. People are repulsed by the attitude of entitlement he believes his feelings justify.
This is how the Redpill stuff ruins relationships. It teaches men to indulge a sort of faux toughness to mask their crippling insecurity. A secure man would not be this quick to believe his wife would forget him. A secure man would not need the constant affirmation he gets from his wife's attentions. A secure man would be able to make emotional room for his child. Redpill rot is real.
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Shocking that this has to be said, but, here goes: Lying about having been raped is not just as bad as raping someone. Nowhere near as bad.
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Andrew Tate is not popular with young men because "the Right has no strong role models" or because "the culture has been poisoned by feminism." He is popular because he is a symbol of unchecked ego, greed and lust. He is popular because he gives young men permission to indulge their basest impulses. He is popular because he represents moral anarchy. He is the contemporary Marquis De Sade. Right wing influencers love him anyway because it allows them to engage in subtle shaming tactics. When they say "the right has no strong male role models", it's just a way of saying "Tate's popularity is your fault. If you were as manly as I am, he'd never have succeeded!" The whole thing is a carnival of delusion on both sides.
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The current Steven Crowder revelations make a few important things clear: 1. Everything is fake. Behind the scenes of his pro-family, conservative facade, Crowder was living and treating others in a way that contradicts those values. 2. There is almost no actual conservative movement. What we mostly have is cynical entertainers who will do anything for wealth. 3. People will actively defend an obvious abusers if they think doing so will help their "side" win. Defenders have no principles except protecting their place in the club and their access to wealth and fame. 4. The best we can do is divest ourselves of all emotional attachment to media figures and their fortunes and attend to our own small lives and the good we can do. Crowder isn't the first conservative media figure to implode, and he won't be the last. We have to be anchored in what's real so that these people matter less to us.
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This is a terrible move. Public likes helped us to know our mutuals better and to find others in our corner to follow. By reducing the social aspects of the website, you will actually drive engagement down, not up. Truly terrible idea.
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Raising daughters requires a man to look right in a cute, beloved female face and tell her "no" again and again even when she's crying. Not a job for wimps.
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The problem in lots of long term relationships is that, in order to feel safe and secure, women require a much greater amount of effort from the man than he is comfortable making. Most guys just don't understand the level of care a woman needs, and they're shocked when they find out how much she requires of him. Rare is the man who ups his game. Most just argue with her, trying to convince her not to need so much.
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Of course, life requires work and most people have always worked hard. But, in the past, people didn't work hard to the exclusion of every other joy in life. Never before has a 40 hour corporate work week been expected to substitute for all other emotional and spiritual goods. This young woman isn't objecting to working hard. She is objecting to being forced to inhabit "TOTAL CONSUMERISM", an inescapable system of economic and psychological exploitation that seeks to unmake the soul. Medieval peasants worked less than this young girl, and medieval lords had more obligations to their serfs than corporations now do to their employees. And, despite what Matt Walsh says, there is nothing conservative about supporting such a system.
She doesn't have the time, energy, or cash to enjoy her life outside of work
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Men often make the mistake of assuming attraction works the same for women as it does for them. It doesn't. For women, a healthy portion of attraction grows out of their sense of whether this man helps lower their anxiety or whether they sense he will be a burden.
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Men who don't do well with women are those who find the whimsy, complexity and mystery of femininity a burden rather than a delight.
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I read a definition of secure attachment earlier which was "a deep trust that repair will always follow rupture." I've been meditating on that, and I think that's right.
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Depression is a normal reaction to a culture that holds nothing sacred.
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Many, many women do not understand how much the life of the average man is shaped by rejection and often outright betrayal by women. Everything this woman is saying is right and good. Perfectly reasonable for her to want all these things. BUT. She, and women like her, need to know how it lands. The man out there who has been rejected, lied to, betrayed hears all this and thinks "I was/am that guy. I did/would do all those things and she still dumped me for someone else." He can't hear this charitably, because the roar of his pain is too loud in his ears. He can only hear it as lies. He's never going to believe a woman wants these things, at least not from a reasonably decent if imperfect guy. He's going to believe that what this woman is saying is "I want Chad to do these things, a guy who is perfect in every way AND wants to know how my day went." Many men have been conditioned by social media discourse and their own experience to believe that they can never be good enough to be worthy of a woman's love. They hear this woman's list of what she wants as another list of ways they will never be good enough, especially when the judge of "good enough" is a woman's subjective feeling which can change at any moment. Yes, it's good for this woman to want these things. It's also good for men to want things from women, and for women to think about what they owe the men in their lives. Our culture around dating, romance, marriage and sex is a mess and creating something better is going to require change from both sides.
A man who is a leader
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One more thing about this video. The woman in it is asking an important question: how does one live meaningfully when employment leaves one without enough money or leisure? In all the comments I've received on previous tweets on this topic, no one has offered an answer. Instead, most have called her names and insisted she grow up. What kind of society do we have when young people's questions are treated contemptuously by their elders? Not a healthy one, for sure.
A millennial is bawling and having a mental breakdown because she doesn’t want to work a 8-to-5 job.
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Been rewatching "Breaking Bad". Even before his cancer diagnosis, Walt was predisposed to become a monster by his nihilism and his passivity. He is a nothing guy, no beliefs in anything, no commitments that give his life meaning beyond the drudgery of day to day material existence. In short, a nihilist. He has never asserted himself. He goes with the flow and that has a storehouse of resentment. Because he has never asserted himself to create a life that reflects meaningful values, when death approaches, he overreacts and draws on his suppressed rage to see him through when he gets deeper and deeper into criminality. The lesson? Don't be a nihilist and don't be passive. That is the way of destruction.
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Scripture makes it clear that both men and women are made in the image of God. There is no fully or not fully about it.
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Replying to @ericmetaxas
Speaking disrespectfully off a woman who has devoted her whole life to good is not funny, nor is it in keeping with the Spirit of Christ.
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Sometimes, when people say they're depressed they really just mean they are angry life requires effort.
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Replying to @ScottAdamsSays
Is the food poisoned in a way that encourages over-consumption? Surely, eating too much plays a role of some sort in the obesity problem.
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Many people who think they struggle with anxiety actually struggle with shame.
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So many of these young, redpill bros on Twitter talking about how they're gonna wife up a young dime and make a bunch of babies clearly have no idea what real marriage is like.
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Replying to @ScottAdamsSays
At the heart of the political is the personal. Our marriage system is broken because our society has jettisoned its loosely Christian metanarrative that gave people some sense of meaning and direction. Now we live in ever-increasing emotional and spiritual chaos.
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In just the few seconds of @DaveRamsey's show I heard this morning, he managed to outrage me. According to Dave, an employee who accepts a position at a company but continues to look for a better job is committing a breach of ethics. Continuing to look for a better job, Dave said, is immoral because hiring people costs money, and to work a job for 90 days and then to move on for a dime more an hour is wrong. The problem, of course, is that Dave is defining "wrong" as "behaving in a way that is not in the employer's interest." Our employment system is generally set up as an "at will" system. This means your employer can fire you at any moment and that you can quit AT ANY MOMENT. When both parties enter into this agreement knowingly and an employee quits after 90 days, he doesn't violate the at will agreement. His employer knew he could leave at any moment for any reason. The employer accepted this deal because he believed the freedom to fire an employee quickly was worth the risk an at will arrangement entailed. But, for Dave, the agreement doesn't matter. What matters is creating a false sense of guilt in people so they will stay in positions that offer less than they could earn elsewhere. False guilt aids employers, after all. No employee should feel guilt about leaving a job in an at will system. It's how things work. Employment in our society is a transient, unstable arrangement in which employers try to purchase labor at the lowest price and employees try to sell labor for the highest price. Every worker has a right to get a better price for his labor. It doesn't matter if the opportunity to do that comes 9 years after accepting a job or 90 days. Don't let guys like Dave tell you different.
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"Conservative" posts like this are slop. They alienate people by sending the message that life is simple and easy and if it's not, well, you're to blame. Over and over again, these people make no room for suffering, for failure, for trauma, for exploitation, for mistakes. Their real message is that a "conservative" life is only for "perfect people". Perfect people don't struggle to find a partner. Perfect people aren't driven to make bad decisions by unconscious feelings. Perfect people don't get sick, divorced or betrayed. Perfect people don't get fired. Perfect people's kids don't die. Life isn't very simple, and conservatives who lie and say otherwise do no service to anyone except themselves. Simple-mindedness, after all, makes for great content, real viral stuff, you know? What they should say instead is "Life is hard. I've made mistakes and suffered too. If you want, I will show you something that works better and, together, we'll redeem what we can." But that message comes from the heart and not, as so much of this stuff, from the ego. If that weren't so, the post wouldn't be a family selfie that implies, "Just be perfect like us!"
It’s very simple: Fall in love Get married Have a million kids Then watch God’s wonders in your life This will unlock your full potential. I’ve lived it firsthand. It is the greatest motivation. It is the only motivation that matters. Leave a legacy for the Kingdom. That’s it
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Human beings were not designed to experience multiple "break ups". The idea that "breaking up" is normal wreaks damage on the heart.
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This is Satanic.
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You know why the Christian patriarchy crowd bothers me so much? It's because they're bullies. For each of them, underneath all the Bible quotes and the beards and cigars is the rage-filled, self-centered insecure heart of a playground bully. Except these guys think they have a right to bully others because they are bullies for Jesus.
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Why contemporary relations between the sexes are so messed up. A short thread.
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This is not the ideal wife because it is a drawing, a cartoon character. Yes, some of the descriptors listed here are fine and good. But the overall effect of memes like this is that they condition young men to fixate on a bunch of abstract qualities rather than on getting to know real women with all their historical constraints, psychological influences, and personal limitations. I also can't help but think these memes comfort young lonely men by reassuring them that the reason for their loneliness has nothing to do with them, but is just the result of the dearth of acceptable women.
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People never talk about how dangerous your early 20's are. A time of life when people make decisions that can affect them for decades.
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8-5 employment is an aberration from historical patterns. It is an outgrowth of the industrial mindset and all the anti-humanness that entails This girls isn't lazy, she's just honest. The default structure of modern life is often misery-inducing, especially when you give up so much of your life and still can't pay the bills.
A millennial is bawling and having a mental breakdown because she doesn’t want to work a 8-to-5 job.
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Women flourish when they are protected. Men flourish when they protect.
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Parents think they are sacrificing for their children by living lives they hate without realizing how much the kids are damaged by the angry, uptight energy such parents bring into the home.
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Discipline is the practice of turning to our values rather than to our vices for comfort in the trials of life.
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Men, When you approach a woman from a leadership mindset: declaring your intentions, setting an agenda, pursuing what you want, you intensify her sense of who you are. When you are passive, halting, unfocused, she cannot feel your presence the way she wants. Always be leading.
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It's not my personal opinion. It's literally what the text says.
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I'm seeing a bunch of anti-therapy takes this morning, and all of them seem to have misunderstood the main point of therapy. The main point of therapy is not to feel better. The main point of therapy is not to get a diagnosis you can identify with. The main point of therapy is not even to change your behavior. The main point of therapy is to enter into a relationship where it safe to make the unconscious conscious.
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About a year ago, I went to the doctor with an issue. He literally told me there was nothing I could do to help it through diet or supplements. Started researching it, and basically took care of the issue through diet and supplements. Now, I wonder if doctors know anything.
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I tweeted this earlier. The woman in the video says the number one reason married women stop having sex with their husbands is that they lose attraction for him because they stop feeling safe. Lots of guys in the comments saying "Well, women have sex with dangerous criminals, so obviously this is false, simp." Let me take a moment to clarify this. Context matters. The video is not trying to explain why every woman everywhere has sex. Instead, it is focused on the main reason MARRIED WOMEN STOP having sex with their husbands. Ignoring this and claiming that it's false because some women somewhere have sex with "dangerous" men is a logical error. Rather than stick to the topic actually being discussed, the redpillers in the comments are eager to start throwing out irrelevant generalizations because doing so fans the flames of their resentment and that feels good. I'm not saying the ideas put forth here can't be challenged, but at least try to stick to the topic actually under discussion.
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This kind of gender role rigidity is dysfunctional. Nobody lives like this perpetually in a real family. In a real family, people are flexible enough to do what is needed at the moment without being anxious about whose "role" every task belongs to. Ideas like this are a fantasy that one must be young with little experience to believe. Real life teaches you something very different.
To help me post partum, my husband never: woke up to tend to baby at night (he tried at first but quit when he realized he was useless at it), changed a nappy, gave her a bath, changed her clothes, washed a bottle. No baby care, no cooking me food, didn’t wash one dish or ever do the cleaning…but he was the BEST SUPPORT I could have hoped for post partum. Do you know why? Because he stuck to his STRENGTHS instead of LARPing as a woman. He made sure I could stay with my mom and sisters post partum so they could baby me while I recovered. He got me the best healthcare support money could buy. He took me to beautiful and sunny places to relax. He bought us amazing dinners so I wouldn’t have to cook all the time. He made sure we could afford the healthiest food. He got me a maid to help clean the house. He made sure we lived in a building and pool so that it would be easy for me to make my body stronger without having to worry about childcare or driving to a gym every day. He works hard so that I don’t have to be separated from my baby 9 hours a day to work. A man doesn’t have to become a woman to look after you. So many of these shrew women, yes many who call themselves “conservative” HATE their husbands so they lash out at them by forcing them to behave like women, and then yelling at them when it’s not intuitive or easy for him to do. Men and women are different. We have different strengths and weaknesses. Expecting woman behaviour from a man is a recipe for disappointment. And vice versa.
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The difference between these two people is that one understands love and the other does not.
.@Pearlythingz: “You’re saying it’s irrational for a man to demand his wife stay a certain way. Why?” @Trent_Horn’s answer:👇
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All these incels in my mentions act like they are bent on getting revenge on women, but for what?
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Most men underestimate how important feeling safe is to most women.
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Yes, they do. If you don't care about what scripture says, that's your call. But let's not pretend when it says " He created then male and female in His own image" that we have no idea what that means.
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Men, Her "submissiveness" in relation to you is largely a result of her perception of your trustworthiness. If you want more submission from her, instead of trying to control her, raise your level of trustworthiness.
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This is female blackpilling. The effect is to demoralize good, average men who read this, know they don't measure up to the absurd requirements necessary to be her "best option" and give up. Then, everyone wonders where all the good men have gone. Well, they've been driven away through the repeated message that they can never be good enough.
women don’t shit test their best option. if she’s shit testing, you’re already half way out the door. if you’re 6’2, make good money, and are handsome, you can be extra clingy and her respect will not drop. a lot of you don’t experience real romance because you’re just not built to be anybody’s best option, so you have to create these mind games to navigate what could’ve been solved with superior genetics and charisma.
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You have no obligation to look. You have no obligation to expose yourself to horrors you cannot stop or situations you cannot influence. Your energies are much better spent on improving the lives of those near you.
Force yourself to look at the videos of what Hamas did over the weekend. LOOK. This is what moral equivalence brings. Rape of women. Kidnapping of children. Murder of hundreds of innocents, including full families.
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She's not a nun?
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Replying to @libertystrikes2
Oh please.
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The problem with all these guys who want a tradwife etc. is that they really only want half a woman. They think femininity is fully captured by submissiveness, tranquility, and domesticity. But there's an energetic, chaotic, creative side too, sometimes dark and vengeful. Those guys think Laura Ingalls making sourdough is the whole of femininity. But it's also Taylor Swift dancing around making fun of guys who broke her heart. Maybe that's why they hate TS so much: she represents the part of femininity they want to deny.
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Most men aren't taught that a relationship with a woman means accepting responsibility. No one tells us that a woman represents not only pleasure, but obligation. The fact that having a relationship with a woman means responsibility and obligation never enters many men's minds.
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Of course, I didn't realize all this when I first same the film decades ago, but that's what makes a great film great: its ability to grow with you over time.
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Too many dudes don't get that there are spiritual and emotional dimensions to sex that can only be experienced with a wife because they require the foundation of a lifelong commitment.
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I often hear men complain that they can't lead in their relationships because women refuse to follow. Many of these guys, who claim to be strong alpha-male types, can't see how this statement is really just a way of saying they are dependent on women. It is a way of saying that they cannot fulfill their nature and calling because the powerful women who control them will not allow them to do so. It is a perfect crystallization of the victim mindset. These same guys think leading in a relationship comes down to "telling her what to do." When they say they want to lead, but can't because women won't let them what they mean is "how can I lead if, when I give her an order, she won't obey" To them, leaders are simply "people who give orders." Of course, a leader is really "a man taking action to move toward his vision." These guys cannot see that, regardless of what women do or don't do, they can say "I have a vision of a home where the trash is emptied", and then empty the trash. The can't imagine saying " I have a vision for getting our finances in order", and then starting a spreadsheet to track expenses. Leading in this way can be done totally independent of what a woman does or does not do. This is the way a man inspires his wife to follow him, and this is the way a man leads himself to maturity.
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There is no reason for children to ever have homework. The hours spent at school are sufficient to acquire basic knowledge. Insisting children do more work at home is simply a way of extending the power of the state into the arena of the home.
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The average man has no clue how much power he has to make others feel safe and calm just by managing himself and his affairs well.
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Men need to understand that when women consider them for a long term commitment, those women know they're taking a gamble. Women, in a sense, are always betting on men. So, men, if a woman sizes you up and rejects you, she may still see many great things about you. She may still love you, but something about how you present yourself has communicated that you are a riskier bet than she feels she can take. At that point, she may start smothering her desire to be with you. The sad corollary to this is that women sometimes end up with men that they love less passionately because they seemed like the safer bet.
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This is abuse, plain and simple. Not only does it destroy the child's trust in his parents, it disrupts his ability to trust his own perception of reality. This bunch of immature, attention seeking cretins should be in jail.
Bunch of little liars 😂🥰
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This tweet will damage marriages. First off, most marital problems are not problems of "communication". They are problems of mismatched values or characterological problems that manifest themselves in relationship. Second, she is not learning to diagnose him with "neat jargon". She is learning more about herself and the dynamic she is in with her husband. Third, notice how this tweet subtly blames the wife who, by going to therapy, is trying to find a way to create greater intimacy with her husband. She has to do this because her husband refuses to lead them toward closeness and harmony. As a leader, he should be doing something to fix this problem. When his wife responds to his passivity by trying to solve the problem herself, her pastor gets on Twitter and ridicules her for it. The problem isn't wives or therapy. The problem is passive, entitled men who think a good marriage requires no work from them and pastors who portray them as victims when they are, in fact, at fault.
Seen this many times. -Husband & wife have probs w. communication. -She goes to therapy. He's not comfortable w. it. She learns from therapist how to diagnose him w. all kinds of neat jargon -He feels labeled, dismissed, demeaned. -Shockingly, this does not help communication.
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I've seen this going around everywhere. The answer is wife. Why is that even controversial?
Who comes first, your mom, your daughter, or your wife?
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This is a picture of a man whose cluelessness is destroying his wife and himself. The look on his wife's face after he finishes his monologue says it all. He cannot and will not learn how to engage her heart, but instead stays stuck in his pattern of insisting on getting his way rather than actually hearing his wife, seeing her needs and concerns as valid and connecting with her. His approach is not mature and masculine, but weak and boyish. What you are seeing here is leadership failure in real time.
How is this even remotely controversial? It seems that aspects of life that were universally accepted and unquestioned for millennia are now not only considered abnormal but also viewed as obscene. His demeanor is of a battered, defeated man, worn by modernity, yearning for a home-cooked meal. So sad
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Anxiety is often the result of trying to think your way out of a problem you can only act your way out of.
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Sex has a fogging effect on judgement. One reason to delay it as long as possible in a relationship is to retain the ability to see the other person clearly without the cloud of lust and oxytocin.
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So much suffering in our time is caused by a mass media complex that encourages people to pretend, to live false lives chasing values they know deep down are not aligned with who they want to be.
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First, we have to acknowledge that Ferris is not intended to be a movie character like the others. Instead, he is either a magical, wizard-like creature or a representation of The Trickster archetype who exists as part of Cameron's psyche.
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Let's break this down. What we see here is an archetypal vision of the healthy Masculine and Feminine. The Masculine rejoices in the presence of the Feminine and leads a dance. He gently and safely extends to her an invitation to join him. The initially resistant Feminine is moved by his independence (he will dance whether she joins or not), humor and strength. The moment when she throws back her head and laughs is the moment she yields. The moment of laughter is what healthy submission looks like. She accepts the invitation. He embraces her, and in their union, each finds a new level of fulfillment and joy. That's how it's supposed to be.
Men, you should grab your wife and dance with her. ❤️
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Be very careful what mass media you consume. Not only is every movie, song or television show subtly advocating for a set of values, but they also transmit a mood. Viewers absorb that mood which then influences them and the circumstances they choose to create in a profound way.
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The author of this account claimed to have been the victim of sex trafficking and horrific childhood abuse. She claimed to have overcome the effects of her experience through will, strength, and good character. She added to the suffering of real victims by shaming them for struggling with ongoing problems brought about by their early experiences. The implication was that those who continued to struggle into adulthood were weak whiners. Lots of Patriarchy and TheoBros circles embraced "Patriarchy Hannah." Her fictions reinforced their conviction that their false gospel of self-deliverance through "strength," "masculinity," and "toughness" was right. She played to their egos, and they bought it. This fact alone should tell you all you need to know about their level of discernment.
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There is no such thing as love that is not sacrificial. Anyone who does not sacrifice for you does not love you.
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No one is less honorable than a man who harms what he is meant to care for.
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Contrary to redpill advice, it is ok for a man to be madly and ridiculously in love with a woman.
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You know the only thing that makes a healthy relationship? Healthy individuals.
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The real sign of a healed soul is not happiness, but integrity.
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Men tend to have a hard time relating to the fear that is a woman's baseline emotional experience of the world. Thus, we tend to dismiss their requests for attention and care as demanding to be "treated like a queen" when, in fact, she only wants to feel safe.
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Replying to @suzie_mac5
Adjusting includes physical healing but also more. A new mother needs time to heal, but there are also all kinds of other adjustments that need to be made.
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Modern people are so miserable because everything our culture considers normal is, in fact, extremely harmful and contrary to our deepest nature.
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Your fantasies about another are never actually about that person. They are actually about you, your desires, wishes, unmet needs projected onto that person, continual stories where that person is not really a character, but a prop.
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Replying to @JohnRockwell43
Well, the vast majority of women don't have sex with dangerous criminals.
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Replying to @domiono
A lot of guys have huge senses of entitlement and a lot of women have trouble valuing themselves enough to hold firm boundaries.
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A friend once told me that, one night when she was an infant, her mother woke suddenly because she "heard" my friend stop breathing in her crib. Her mother rushed into the other room and snatched her up, and she had indeed stopped breathing. How do you explain this?
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If psychedelics are supposed to be a shortcut to God, why does the artwork they inspire all look like pictures of Hell?
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It's better to disappoint others by being honest than to keep them temporarily happy by concealing your true self.
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The chief evidence for this is that Ferris knows he is in a story. He repeatedly turns to the camera and addresses the audience about the unfolding action. His "magical" status is also why he is able to do impossible feats like showing up on a parade float etc.
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The happiest people I have ever known dated basically one person, married young, had kids and lived lives of quiet responsibility.
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A lot red-pill advice to men really does come down to saying "never risk really loving a woman."
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"Baby, just because my ideology allows me to get everything I want with no real costs is not a reason for you to doubt it."
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Most people unconsciously resent the fact that love, their greatest desire, cannot be attained without suffering, their greatest fear.
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