Find me @stuartgoldsmith.bsky.social 🌍 Award-winning Climate Comedian 👀 Live at the Apollo | 4th Feb 2025
UK
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Please love-bomb wonderful Janey, who's taken some of the toughest circumstances imaginable and turned them into pure joy and laughter her whole career.
Love you @JaneyGodley you're an inspiration xxx
I’m now at end of life care - palliative care-and will be going into a hospice for the foreseeable - thanks to everyone who sends me love and support- you’ve been amazing
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Just so we're clear, trans rights are human rights, trans women are women, and the trans "debate" is a rehash of eighties homophobia, inflated (as it was then) by people trying to justify their discomfort at otherness.
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This is an ancient meme but it's like a warm blanket how many of these I cheerfully tick off.
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I used to enjoyed taking my recorder out of my pocket and audibly whispering "believe in yourself"
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A joke of mine went viral over last week and has been seen by 4M people (my first time, blush) and I've been so fascinated with the structure behind how it exploded that it has literally JUST occured to me that loads of people like my joke. What a nice feeling.
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In 2011 I was a stand-by for "Show Me The Funny" at the Apollo, in case one of the finalists couldn't go on. They rehearsed their sets onstage, and I asked if I could too. The producers took pity on me and let me do my set, to four cameramen. I did quite well.
This was better.
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HOLY WHAT?! That's absolutely amazing, I'm over the moon!
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Sci-fi novelist, Youtube behemoth, creator of the splendidly shouty Zero Punctuation, @YahtzeeCroshaw delves deep into horror, anarcho-comedy... and why he talks so fast! 🎮👾🤬
Listen: bit.ly/2UEtFQF // Apple apple.co/2U0kbyH // Android bit.ly/2V9stnZ
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James Acaster was nearly in Barbie? 🤯
Part two drops tomorrow feat Hecklers Welcome, #Ghostbusters and *that* Oscars moment!
🔍 The Comedian's Comedian Podcast
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Pls RT this *comedy manhunt*! @jlukeroberts is trying to identify this volunteer from a 2015 Edinburgh show, to ask their permission to release the show online!
ARE YOU THAT COMEDY FAN?
(This will be especially funny if we find him 24hrs and it's a flat "no")
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Hey here's a thought, if you haven't looked at your kids' passports for two years because of Covid, you might want to check in on them before you spend £1200 on a trip to a family member you can't now go on.
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Aaaaaand that's all folks! An arguably perfect FOUR HUNDRED eps in TEN rollicking years. Thanks to all my insightful guests, my sensational listeners, and all comics, clowns & fools. GOODBYE FOREVER!
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My guys, it happened. I just saw a man in a restaurant taste the wine AND THEN DECLINE IT!
I think he saw me reach for my phone to tell you all, coz he's giving it some bullshit about "maybe it's oxidised* to the server...
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My 5yo has taken to drawing self-portraits to communicate he's sad or angry with me over some 5yo bullshit or other, but some of them are genuinely brilliant!
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Happy #RHLSTP day! 🎉
I had a little surprise for @Herring1967...
Full episode out now wherever you get your podcasts from.
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I'm so, so sad to hear about Gareth Richards' passing. He made so many people happy. The sweetest, gentlest man, and a superb comedian. A huge loss to us all.
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My son made this treasure hunt for his sister. If I tell you his age this tweet will be even more of a boast than it is right now
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I really loved Barry Cryer, absolute privilege to have talked with him. I marvelled at how in his eighties he was still really connected to and excited about the newer comics breaking through.
Love to you Baz, giggling forever in the space library.
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Accepting cash should be a legal requirement for all UK businesses. I will die on this hill.
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Please let's agree to look back on this fortnight and call it #elongate
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Can we agree that if you're late to a show, you can sneak past people to get to less good seats, but you don't tell people in good seats to shuffle along?
This message brought to you by an apparently old man.
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I'm in the audience at a private zoom gig where 50 people from the cult I accidentally nudged into being are all watching 15 of their number doing standup, in most cases for the first time ever. I'm so proud and ashamed and proud!
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This is a great contribution to "comedians barely managing to stay funny through gritted teeth as they complain about customer service on social media"
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Here's the gag, it's one of my all time favourites (sadly it's not on my IG account but hey)
instagram.com/reel/CcVNnPvj0…
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Remembering Barry Cryer - a specially re-released episode is now the most recent in your feed.
RIP Barry, thanks for the laughs x
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Literally no-one needs to hear this but I just completed 365 days of exercise. I'm so glad I didn't take a "before" picture because even though I now have core strength you can't see it under the regular beer and ice-cream I've consequently allowed myself.
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Me: remember what i said about spitting and no cartoons.
Him (5): remember what I said about you're stupid.
He's got me on the ropes here.
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Today I tape my stand-up special for @800lbRecords. I've done one before but it was all self-financed; to actually have someone take a risk on me is an extraordinary feeling. I should probably undercut this boast with some contrived goofiness, but I consider myself above that.
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It's a new high/low for me - just walked out of the bathroom, threw my towel down and started getting dressed. I'd forgotten to have a shower.
#notofficiallyADHD
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I'm so, so sad to learn of the death of brilliant Phil Jerrod. He was absolutely lovely, talented and kind. The big three. And my son thought he was the Gruffalo and once went around Edinburgh kissing all his posters. Rest in peace Phil. xxx
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5yo just called me "a poo in a mood". Superb. Just say it out loud. Savour it.. #hopeforthefuture
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One minute ago I literally said out loud to my therapist "GREAT work, big gold star for you mate, great therapy."
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Podcast idea: One watches Arrival, another Interstellar. They’re told they’ve seen the same film and must have a spoiler-free discussion.
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James Acaster returns, again in 2024!
Part One is out now where we discuss @OffMenuOfficial, @SpringleafPod and more.
🔍 'The Comedian's Comedian Podcast'
👀 Insiders can watch the full special!
⏰ Part Two drops next Tuesday at 10am
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This is my wife doing an impression of our son doing an impression of a dog he saw once.
Happy anniversary mate, you're the absolute best!
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Ep 373 w/ @greg_jenner up now!
Public Historian & host of #YoureDeadToMe, Chief Nerd on #HorribleHistories and author of #DeadFamous talks in depth about his creative process, the pitfalls of packaging history & his personal struggle with anxiety.
podfollow.com/513734888
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I've been sitting on this image since before the pandemic, now GAZE UPON ITS GLORY!
A Shared Illusion, a new WIP from the host of The Comedian's Comedian @ComComPod is on sale!
If you're heading up to Edinburgh Fringe this August, book your tickets now: tickets.edfringe.com/whats-o…
@BarrelComedy @edfringe 🎟️
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We're isolating and we just made a spinner wheel with options like "play lego, build a den, story time" etc.
My 6yo just added "make another spinner" as an option.
See you in the vortex.
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If any comics out there are struggling to feel like their old selves, and wondering if their career was all a dream, I HIGHLY recommend trying to write a new hour from scratch on a deadline. The sheer nostalgia of thinking "Christ I've got nothing" is a thrill ride.
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I stand with women and non-binary people in comedy. The hurt and abuse that people have been suffering in my industry is appalling. I don't use twitter much, and I find it distressing getting sucked into the algorithms of outrage, but
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Mad how I listen to BBC 6music every morning and I'll die not knowing who any of the bands are.
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That's exercise every single day for TWO YEARS, complete!
I highly recommend this. Start tomorrow. Do as much or as little as you like, just commit to doing something every day without fail. It's the only way I've ever found not to talk myself out of exercise...
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Can I just say, thank you SO MUCH everyone that follows and enjoys the pod, for helping me craft a niche where I basically make, eat & analyse comedy and then boost and rebroadcast artists and positivity and creativity to you all?
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Oh shit.
I've just had an idea for a book that's so good I can't not write the fucking thing. Just marking this moment with a tweet.
SHIT.
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Get away from him you bitch he's mine
Jennifer Lopez and Brett Goldstein to star in rom-com ‘OFFICE ROMANCE’ for Netflix.
Goldstein is also co-writing the script.
(deadline.com/2024/09/jennife…)
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You know the old "forgetting your wearing a mask and taking a sip of coffee"?
Well this hero just licked the underside of a yogurt lid.
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OK this is a naked boast but it's about my incredible wife and son. She taught him to read before he started reception and has smashed the homeschooling SO hard that this is a list of all the tricky words he read out loud with ease tonight. He's FIVE! I'm in awe of them both.
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Ep 412 w the scorching @thebiancadelrio out now! We investigate the processes behind her unstoppable onslaught of insult comedy! #edfringe #dragrace
linktr.ee/stuartgoldsmith for all your links and such...
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Fair play Katherine Ryan for calling out "pedestal feminism"; i'd never heard that term before but I totally get her point.
comedy.co.uk/people/news/581…
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My heart goes out to these women. My once-held notions that comics were all somehow in a big noble gang of like-minded artists now seem not so much naive as demented.
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buying a burner SIM so I can text every comic I know "are you on the way?" at 8:15pm on valentines day
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People with wives! I highly recommend the experience of your wife buying you flowers. These are bangers and I feel really spoilt and loved on my 4th wedding anniversary.
WHO KNEW RIGHT? I ALWAYS THOUGHT FLOWERS WERE A SHIT PRESENT!
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This guy, funny guy, one of my guys. Magical moment.
Watch the moment Aaron Simmonds (@RollingComedian) regrets talking to the front row...
Make sure to catch the brand new series of @howardhour every Thursday at 10pm on Sky Max. #TheRussellHowardHour
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What is the one thing you've done over the last year that's helped your mental health more than any other? I'll start: I whacked a load of terrifyingly expensive luxury granola over every single bowl of cereal.
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So happy to be doing stand-up on @TeamCoco tonight! Such a fun experience, and @ConanOBrien is SO funny and tall, I had the time of my life! Here's me and the big man having a laugh backstage:
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This reviewer has almost perfected the backhanded compliment.
COMEDY PICK OF THE WEEK: Tonight, @ComComPod will be touching down at @CPHMCR. After amassing 400 episodes over the course of 10 years on his award-winning podcast, Stuart has almost perfected the art of stand-up through meticulous research and planning.
manchesterwire.co.uk/guide/c…
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I'm so profoundly grateful to my cool wife, my photogenic and largely compliant children, and everyone at @ChambersMgt, @storytellingPR and @BarrelComedy, as well as
@cmoorin and my flyer teams, and everyone who saw the show. I did everything I came here to do. What a run.
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Tonight's @theinfinitesofa had just shy of 70,000 total viewers on Twitch. Holy moly.
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Come and get to grips with your secret deepest fears about the climate crisis and let me hook you up with some hope...
I've got the good shit: inspiring facts, personal sustainability & how to look your kids in the eye. Every day @ #edfringe
Tix in bio
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We return at last w/ Ep381 feat @jonathancoulton! Amazingly warm and wise singer-songwriter #joco, also host of @NPRAskMeAnother, on online creativity, viral success, #portal's "I'm Still Alive" and authentic rocking!
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First time in my life someone (coffee shop) asked me how am I and I honestly said "I'm bad actually" but it made me laugh so much that by the time the second coffee guy arrived and asked the same I said "yeah pretty good" and the first one gave me a look.
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Here it is. I don't think I've ever loved a guy so much as to be 100% jealousy free when he rockets to Hollywood.
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It's fascinating how many commenters think they have a solid lead on who this must be; the sheer *volume* of comics to whom you could apply this based on their stage persona or interviews!
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Which comics do you reckon are getting secretly buff during the pandemic?
My money's on @joshwiddicombe to be an absolute tank.
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The seats are switched and the tables turned as your intrepid host is grilled by a bevy of comics. We discuss in depth my process, foibles... and grasp at the intangible nature of Comedy ®️🐑😄❓
Listen: bit.ly/300comcom / bit.ly/300_apple / bit.ly/300android
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I Need You Alive has just crossed 101k views on @YouTube! 🎉
I'm proud of the show and if you haven't watched it yet, you should 👉 piped.video/QNYyYKYm2Us
🔎 YouTube: "I Need You Alive'
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I'll say this for my forties: it's just snowed and for the first time I have everything I need
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You try to lead a life in comedy not caring about awards and competitions, and then something like this comes along and it all goes out the window
I WON, YOU HEAR ME?!
COMEDIANS BEER MAT FLIPPING CHAMPIONSHIP EDFRINGE 24
Winner was @ComComPod with a huge double-11 flip to win, defeating @PaulWilliams_12 in Team GB v NZ final.
Incredible flippers: @daraobriain @gracejarvisohno @adg_5 @Aishaamanduri @MarjoleinR @chloebadcliffe
📷 @Berlination
ALT Stuart Goldsmith holds the trophy aloft
ALT Marj, Anirban & Paul Williams prepare to flip
ALT Dara looks happy in an Olympics cap
ALT Aisha looks stunned as Anirban looks on at Stuart revealing Anirban wins the round
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Friends (those of you who can still afford to go to @edfringe despite the rent-gouging)!
Today is #spreadsheetday so please reply below with your ultra-nerdy edfringe comedy spreadsheet lineups!
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"There is nowhere else you need to be" whispers my yoga youtuber, as I hear my baby stunt-roll down the stairs.
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Just realised I don't need to have seen CKs new album, or to watch/care about the Grammys, to be angry that an abuser has been awarded a prize. I've no idea about how the mechanism of those awards works but I can't imagine they didn't consider it and then think "ah fuck it".
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My friend John used to go a bit vacant if he wasn't talked to for a while, so he was called Screensaver
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Car unpacked, kids in bed, curry ordered, finally sitting down to find out Succession Season Four doesn't start until tomorrow night.
Textbook.
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Ep170 w @RussellHoward up now! A unique insight into an incredible #standup #comedy performer ow.ly/LMZx100bxbG
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