I went over to this man’s house and he had two toothbrushes. I asked why because I’m nosey… this nigga gonna tell me he uses one toothbrush for his top teeth and another for the bottom.

ALT Seriously GIF

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Man what the fuck is going on right now?
Hours before graduation, Tommy Le was shot and killed by a deputy who thought he had a knife. He was carrying a pen. st.news/2tqH056
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Replying to @nataliatwilson
Fell out when he did this.
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Kirk you tweeting from the wrong page, baby!
God Please Don’t Take Your Hands Off Me Throughout This Journey. Continue To Walk With Me & Guide Me Wherever U Feel My Destination May Lead. I Trust U Even When I Don’t Trust Myself! Help Me Understand The Things I Don’t & Give Me The Patience I Need To Endure. Luv U 4 Luving Me
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Replying to @Officially_Jas
They really are. I couldn’t do anything but laugh, grab my shit, and go.
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Replying to @MartyMula_
The lady who yelled “Hey!” took me the fuck out.
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Every single time I hear somebody say they don’t owe anyone anything? I slowly disappear. You owe people decency, bitch.
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Says more about the men. RT @Lloyd_Oski: Black women have no business talking about anti-slut shaming when over 70% are single mothers.
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Ginger by Wizkid and Burna Boy is such a sexy ass song.
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If you live in Miami, and you're single... Ready to Love is casting for the next season. You have to be over 30 years old, and live within an hour of Miami to qualify. Oh, and you have to be black.
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Replying to @MissZindzi
Tank was singing background in "Naked" by Marques Houston.
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Replying to @mackmittens
Hmm. Actually, I think my interest in men is strictly primal. I obviously meet men that I share common interests with… but that isn’t enough for me.
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Today makes 30 days of being completely sober.

ALT Swear Cry GIF

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Because I was his woman. I should be able to question whatever I want.
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Nate is really the reason why Ash is dead. If Nate never called in that raid Fez wouldn’t have had to rob anyone. In turn Ash wouldn’t have murdered Mouse. Fez wouldn’t have met Lauri, never had Faye up in his house, and everyone would be happy.
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Replying to @PenajaAgain
They are right. You ate everyone in this photo up.
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Replying to @rvlphevl
That’s a plausible answer though. Not the one for the top the other for the bottom. It sounds like a lie.
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Nah, it wouldn’t. That would make sense and wouldn’t sound like a lie.
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Black people who talk down on other black people for their socioeconomic status & education levels. “I’m not like THOSE niggas.” immediately makes me cringe.
What gives you second hand embarrassment?
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Replying to @RickiRoma
Pull over and bust his fucking ass. RT @RickiRoma: What would do if this was your kid while you were driving? nitter.app/rickygetnopussy/status…
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She’s 103?!
Inauguration Day 2017 was my grandmother’s 99th birthday. I asked her how she was feeling. She responded by saying, “Franklin, you’re asking me if I’ll be here til 100. Yes. I’ll be here until at least 103. I have to see who we replace this idiot with.” She’s still here.
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If you love me send me some money for this Burna Boy merch I’m getting tonight.
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If you want a white sugar daddy Boston is the place to be.
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CDL’s & BBL’s
let me put on something a little more … OSHA certified ;)
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Scientology. The people in the ‘church’ probably gave up their knee caps for him.
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“Let’s circle back to this email once you’ve reviewed our past correspondence carefully.”
“Stop fuckin playing w me” but make it professional:
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Arrogant STEM majors are the absolute worst.
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Replying to @iDont_Chase
Probably half the bottle of ranch dressing I would throw on this. 🤣🤣
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He was probably able to cheat in peace because he was building houses. Now all y'all do is pop percs and wear booty shorts.
A lot of yalls grandmothers let your grandfather cheat in peace but y’all won’t mention that part.
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So why can’t she get a handle on sex trafficking and abductions in Atlanta? Is that not an issue anymore? Or will this just secure her remaining the DA? I’m genuinely curious.
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Replying to @C2thaL2thaIGG
And left it in. And then did it repeatedly in one night. And then did it again the next night. 😭
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Replying to @CHAMPION__Lee
Okay no shade, but what you be wearing? What your voice sound like?
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And this is why I’ll forever talk shit about white people with locs or box braids.
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I don’t think it matters. Sometimes people just need to let the shit out.
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Interesting Outlook
When you start to Excel, People start to Spreadsheet.
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I feel like every woman should own a gun. Shoot these niggas. They play too much.
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Y'all favorite this: August 12th, 2017 I will be 100 lbs lighter.
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Hi, hello. When are you coming back to America? I missed your shows out here and I need you to come back. Thanks. @burnaboy
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Replying to @New_God_SHERM
sweetheart I'm not trying to be funny at all... But what happened to you wasn't okay. At all.
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I hope she shoots you.
My FINE ass coworker asked for a ride home last night & when she got out the car she asked me "How u know where I live?!" Man I peeled out so fast
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I fucking miss Jamaica.
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Shaved a minute off my mile.
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Bitch was recklessly shooting out of a moving vehicle and y’all wanna act like we should give a fuck. Her ass needs to be behind bars or have her weapon taken away. Simple. She coulda killed mad people.
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Not all of us can be as strong as your forehead.
Yall so weak Walking around your offices all sad. Having to take days off because “you can’t deal .”
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Replying to @lijitimate
Especially if there’s some thyme chopped up too
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Replying to @LLCoolJ_92
Where is this?
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Replying to @DjWalt_
Yes! Gotta follow in my father’s footsteps.
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My overall health.
What's one thing you're working to improve this year?
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But they know everything about their favorite football or basketball player!!!
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I stopped making excuses for people and cut them off when they did or said some stupid shit.
What massively improved your mental health?
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Don't let The Constitution get your ass whooped.
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Your voice is part of the reason why I’m attracted to you. Talk to me! Vocalize!
#TwitterAfterDark😈 Ladies: what is one piece of advice you can offer men regarding how to be better and more attentive sexual partners? Men, LISSEN🗣

ALT Sound GIF

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Idk if this counts, but I got a relaxer in like 2008... I told her it was burning so she turned on a fan and pointed it at my head. 😕
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1st call? My mama. 2nd call? Dr. Miami. 3rd call? Someone who'll break my back on a yacht while eating a sandwich and calling me princess.
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Replying to @bigboyteddyyy
♌️ - 5’5 - Tampa/Brooklyn
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This nigga so fucking ugly.
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Replying to @Trill__Parcells
No, it's not your fault you have stricter boundaries than she does.
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Hooooomygawd RT @Teh_realest: When she breaks the condom in hopes to get pregnant but instead you give her a STD nitter.app/Teh_realest/status/671…
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So Nate better die next season. Thanks.
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Are you fucking kidding me?
Life Sentence For Marijuana: A Black man serving life in prison stemming from a marijuana conviction in Mississippi had his sentence upheld this week.bit.ly/3eL04kM
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Y’all judging people for making porn, but you watch porn? How that work?
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He should have minded his business though. Why tell anyone to quit a job if you aren’t prepared to basically give her the money she’d be earning from that PT job without question?
Replying to @shesokayhere
She is a full time nurse and picked up an extra part time job to help her family out. My brother noticed and asked her why she was working so hard. She said her family was going through financial hardship. My brother offered financial assistance and told her to quit the p/t job
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Replying to @SlimWyldNReklez
Okay now Carlo 😂😭
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3 dates or 1 month, whichever comes first.
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Today makes 30 days of being completely sober.

ALT Swear Cry GIF

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Y’all be doing all this on DICK? No wonder I pay my own bills.
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I love my body. 💙
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Your skin >>>>>>
Just felt like posting a photo so yeah bye
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Yes! Some of them do stupid shit like say they want to be cool/friends but then privately ask you to eat them out. Weirdo behavior.
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Okay so did y’all know aluminum foil has a shiny side and a dull side?
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I think we put too much of an emphasis on being coupled when in reality we need an entire village.
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Finally cut my shit.
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You’re so pretty 😩😍
Don’t kick it with no lames🖤
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Replying to @Moms_Fav_Ninja
The gag is it’s not her mouth that makes her ugly... sooooooooo.....
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That dress is gorgeous! So is your body.
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I don’t usually ask this, but can y’all pray for my father right now?
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...it’s women like you fucking up the game.
I genuinely don't care about going “out.” My fav date to date was walking with some tea for 5 hrs.
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Replying to @imsoooooooohigh
Haaaaaahhhhhh RT @MadArmyVeteran: 😭😭😭😭😂 vine.co/v/eOZlzzAT1jY
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If you’re in a serious relationship, whose career determines where you’re going to live? How did y’all come to that decision?
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Replying to @alexissTyler
LMAO
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Giving Church Activities Coordinator.
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I want a companion... and I feel selfish because I don’t want to commit. I just want to do all this relationship shit without having to be in one.
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No because why did Asian people think they weren’t benefitting from affirmative action?

ALT Steve Harvey Love GIF by ABC Network

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Replying to @EverydayGrails
NIGGA PROPOSE THIS YEAR
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IF YOU A FAT BLACK FEMME I NEED YOU TO QUOTE TWEET MY YOUR FAVORITE PICTURE OF YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!
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You want someone to love you fully, but are you making loving you fun or a job for them?
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The girls are leaving their men for watching porn? I respect it. Deeply.
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Replying to @simsimmaaz

ALT Come On Wow GIF by BrownSugarApp

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I am screaming.
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