My favorite teams haven't won a championship in 24+ years. Dad to the #LaserRocketDog. Big fan of Omaha.
Hall of Fame
- Tweets 173,099
- Following 605
- Followers 62,228
- Likes 37,439
Isaiah Simmons’ girlfriend doing her best to remind him she was there before he was rich.
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Thank you, Travis Kelce! About time someone threw a flag on these NFL officials. vine.co/v/5jZzdmTeblq
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Benny Johnson
Trump's right, John Lewis' district is a mess. 53 men are getting the shit kicked out of them in downtown ATL and no one's doing anything.
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Like everyone else, I have no idea why Markie Post is trending but teenage me is all for it!
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Or, you could just report them and let readers draw their own conclusions. But that's just me. Weird, huh?
If you're a journalist shaming @lsarsour's choice of words instead of helping readers better understand them, you're bad at your job.
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Lavar Ball: "We want $1Billion!"
You know how many shoes you gotta sell?!
Lavar Ball: "The higher the price, the fewer we need...
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They need to do a #30for30 on Sammy Sosa and not even talk about baseball.
"What if I told you that this guy...was also this guy..."
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Going from Booger to Romo is like handing the valet the ticket for your Kia and him pulling back up with a Lambo
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When the left is finished, all we're gonna have left are monuments to celebrities and imaginary girls.
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FOX College Football
So, Brady's jersey was found in Mexico. Trump said Mexico was going to pay for the wall, we just didn't know how. Now we do. Sports auctions
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Peyton Manning deserves a damn Emmy!!! 😂 #ManningCast #MNF
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If you don't like the government currently representing you, show up on Election Day. Don't burn the flag that people died in support of.
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“New Members Only”
*Canceled subscription, signed back up with different email and credit card, took 60 seconds to give em the big 🖕 #HuluBlackFriday
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Well, you do have plenty of homeless children that @Nike can exploit, so this is actually a good fit.
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"I'm gonna drink a lot of Budweiser...and thank the man upstairs". - Peyton F*cking Manning
American Hero
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Booger McFarland is not returning to Monday Night Football, which means he will not be in the booth on ESPN on Monday nights.
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The @nfl is already the biggest sports entity in North America. The $$ grab of putting games on streaming services makes no f*cking sense. Regardless of how @nflcommish sees this going, he’s disenfranchising more fans than the $ NBC/Peacock offset tonight
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Pat McAfee
"Serena Williams won...while carrying a baby. And the Denver Broncos won a Super Bowl while carrying me." - Peyton Manning #ESPYs
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Setting fire to minority-owned businesses seems like a poorly schemed plan for getting back at "the man". #Ferguson
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#UFC168 Here's the Anderson Silva leg-break. Not for the squeamish. You've been warned! vine.co/v/h9EPUhYFrXb
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Sorry, but I could show that to my wife and she would laugh and agree. Then again, she's not a sensitive wuss looking for acceptance online.
Either he really believes this and is a misogynistic garbage person, or it’s a joke and he’s a misogynistic garbage comedian...Either way 👎🏼 nitter.app/barstoolsports/status/…
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They fit particularly well if you're "flat" footed.
Sorry.
#Patriots owner Robert Kraft & Nike created a shoe made from Super Bowl LI game balls — on display at The Hall at Patriot Place. For real.
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Phones are documented.
Can someone tell me how it’s possible for this administration to send a text alert to 300 million people but can’t keep track of the kids they separated from their parents at the border? #PresidentialAlert
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Sir, Orlando Scandrick has been hitting Molly.
"2 game suspension." - Goodell
Um, Molly is a drug.
"Oh. 4 game suspension!" - Goodell
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Come on, Chip Kelly...announce that you've signed Tim Tebow. Blow Twitter up. Blow the whole f**cking thing up!
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In honor of the 49th anniversary of the "moon landing", let's take a moment to remember the time a 72 year old Buzz Aldrin punched a conspiracy theorist who said it was fake...
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#ESPYsRedCarpet
Me from kitchen: "How does Ayesha Curry look?"
Wife: "Like black Miley Cyrus."
Me: "What?!?! *Runs to LR* OMG! She does!"
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NFL Marshawn: “Run through a muhfukka’s face.”
High School Marshawn: “The probability of that happening is extremely low when you calculate the force required to actually run through a gentleman’s countenance.”
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#NeverForget Obama is a Chicago politician...he doesn't care who votes, as long as they #VoteEarlyVoteOften nitter.app/buckyworks/status/7951…
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"Mr. Simpson, what were you thinking?"
Correct answer: "I wasn't. Next question."
OJ's answer: *still rambling
#OJSimpsonParole
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When you finally get your nerve up and her man shows up with their drinks...vine.co/v/5hVLFtuMw3h
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We tried to get you to leave after the election like you promised, but you wouldn't listen. That's on you.
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#TrumpBookReport Gatsby didn't win at anything. He was a loser in love, a loser at...he was a loser. I'll make Gatsby great again.
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ESPN hired Chip Kelly. It must have been his idea to run off all the talent they had before he joined the team.
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Yes, because everyone who buys tickets to the NCAA Tournament just dipped into their petty cash jar. There’s definitely no parents who busted their ass saving up overtime pay to take their kid to something special or cut corners on other essentials to make a memory. FOH w/this BS
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Tom Brady is now listed as "Questionable" for the Super Bowl after being thrown under the bus by Bill Belichick.
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I hope the Buckeyes take the lead before halftime so he can die happy. #UMvsOSU vine.co/v/5FwzduwWTqK
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Yea, probably by the FBI. That's what happens when you nominate a criminal
EXCLUSIVE: The Democratic National Committee Has Told the FBI It Found Evidence Its HQ Was Bugged motherjones.com/politics/201…
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Keep your #FvckTheFourth bullshit off my timeline. #HappyFourthOfJuly
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#2017BabyNames
Imwithher: "You named your baby I'm With Her?"
"*Sigh* It's pronounced 'em-wit-air'."
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F🏈ck you, Meryl Streep. This is art. #NationalChampionship
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Washington Redskins fans: “Jeezus, our field f*cking sucks!”
Los Angeles Rams fans: “Hold our Triple Venti Half Sweet Non-Fat Soy Caramel Macchiatos”
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Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner has opened conversation, definitely. But this isn't a sports story. Sorry. #ESPYS. You missed on this one.
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I hope Riley Cooper gets to watch #SharkWeek while he's in counseling. I'd hate for him to miss all of these great whites.
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Prayers up and congratulations to Damar Hamlin but I’m here to tell you that Pat McAfee is the same off air as he is on air and is the most genuine person you could ever meet. #Kudos
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Fidel Castro died. Nice try, 2016, but it's a little late to try and get on our good side now.
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NBA
#PopeBars
I like it when you call me Big Papal
(Throw your hands in the air, if youse a true pray-er)
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Bill Clinton making plans with Kenneth. "I wanna party with you, K-Bone!" #Debate vine.co/v/5g361j2aALp
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