fueled by coffee, fluent in sarcasm, lover of naps, always searching for where I parked my car
academia
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It’s never the doctoring that breaks us
It’s the charting and notes and billing and modules and reviews and publications and fear of lawsuits and prior authorizations and inbox messages and lectures all while someone else complains you aren’t attending to their urgent issue
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normalize dads bringing kids to doctors appointments and knowing absolutely everything about their children
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People: aRe yoU goInG to mAsK fOreVeR
Me: well I still wear seatbelts & helmets, use sunscreen, get vaccinated, wash my hands, drink pasteurized milk, cook chicken before eating it, & don't drink water straight from the lake so 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
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I'm so fucking tired of COVID. Tired of restricting kids' activities, tired of quarantine & testing & isolation, tired of literally being the most worried person in every situation. Tired of being disappointed by people. Tired of always being right. Tired of canceling plans. 😭
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If someone is wearing a mask in a doctors office, there is seriously no reason to remind them masks are no longer necessary. Trust me, everyone knows. Those still wearing masks *want to* be wearing them.
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Student: can I have the day off for the birth of my baby?
School: we’ll do one better…you can come to work on ob/gyn rotation and deliver your own baby!!!
Congratulations to third-year medical student @DavidGibbsIV on catching his own baby during his Ob/Gyn rotation! ❤️ #BuckeyeBaby #OSUCOM
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Saw little girl in clinic, her lips were a teeny tiny bit blue. Entire visit I'm wondering huh what's her pulse ox? What other conditions does she have? Hmm, maybe it's just my imagination.
Then I examine her. Ask her to open mouth, stick out tongue. BRIGHT BLUE.
Damn sucker.
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lol this blew up
shout out to my husband who knows everything about our kids, handles grocery shopping, knows their latest shoe sizes, coordinates carpools & schedules, checks homework & grades
and their schools are still going to call me 1st absolutely every single time
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Been there done that
Saw little girl in clinic, her lips were a teeny tiny bit blue. Entire visit I'm wondering huh what's her pulse ox? What other conditions does she have? Hmm, maybe it's just my imagination.
Then I examine her. Ask her to open mouth, stick out tongue. BRIGHT BLUE.
Damn sucker.
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After delivering terrible news to a family, the father turns to me and says in all seriousness "I have no idea how this can be your job." Same, sir. Same.
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Well. I was the last one standing. But after 2 yrs of double masking & n95 & k94 & eye protection & telemed & outside eating & isolating + fam members & canceling activities, I'm 100% ok with finally getting COVID from snuggling with my own kid when they needed us overnight. 💕
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Admin: We want you to see more pts
Me: K
A: And close charts quicker
M: Um, I'll try
A: And personally return calls to keep pts satisfied
M: Got it
A: And keep publishing
Me, in fetal position rocking in corner crying
A: Looks like you could use some wellness training too
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To my fellow Gen Xers,
You have *got to* stop double-spacing after a period. It makes you look antiquated, and not in an old Nirvana t-shirt kind of way.
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A nephrologist legitimately said to me: "The dumbest nephron is still smarter than the smartest neuron." Still hurts tbh.
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It's absolutely exhausting being *that* person, most concerned about COVID, in every single group.
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Once had co-resident bring donuts to NICU. Everyone moaned/groaned about the temptation & calories.
She said: Look. The right way to respond when someone does something nice is to say thanks. If you don't want it, don't eat it.
Thinking about that as I bring these in this AM.
ALT Box of various yummy looking donuts.
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IT HAPPENED. IT FINALLY HAPPENED. A parent said they got their kid vaccinated because at the last visit I mentioned how excited I was to get my own kid (the same age) vaccinated as soon as it was available. 🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳😭😭😭😭😭🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
#tweetiatrician #covidvax4kids
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Lol several people read this as cook children before eating and tbh that sounds like solid advice as well 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
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From a big pediatric hospital I'm telling you: DOCTORS, NURSES, & ADMIN ARE GETTING COVID FROM ONE ANOTHER not the patients or parents. Please continue to mask & social distance with colleagues & staff, stay home if you're sick, work from home when you can.
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QUIT WAITING FOR ENOUGH PEOPLE TO START A MEETING. START ON TIME. AND IF SOMEONE MISSES SOMETHING MAYBE THEY'LL BE ON TIME NEXT TIME. AND IF NO ONE CAN MAKE IT ON TIME PICK ANOTHER TIME. OR MAKE IT AN EMAIL. #tgif
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New interns: be careful with your posts. Your "exciting" day/case/procedure is someone else's very shitty one.
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F*CK @UHC. I'm a NEUROLOGIST, suffering from debilitating migraines & they denied the medication my SPECIALIST prescribed. And denied the appeal. *After* I'd already taken the injectable loading dose.
IT'S INHUMANE THAT INSURANCE COMPANIES DICTATE & GATEKEEP TREATMENTS.
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8 yr old: The right decisions we make for COVID are the wrong ones for our feelings.
I know, buddy. I know.
😭😭😭😭😭
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Find someone who looks at you the way Bill looks at applesauce.
ALT Man in scrubs peeling back applesauce container.
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As we are re-emerging from pandemic-hibernation, some of us have let hair gray, put on extra weight, traded dress clothes for sweats.
Please remember: We didn't let ourselves go. We set ourselves free.
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Me: Ugh. I have a terrible headache.
9 yo daughter: Are you staying well hydrated? Did you eat lunch? What time did you go to bed last night?
Omg. I've never been more proud or more busted.
#pedsneuro
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Me to patient: I'm gonna give you three items to remember and I'll ask you to tell me them in a few minutes.
Patient eventually: Hey, doc, are you gonna ask me those items again?
Mental status patient: 1
Dr Dala: 0
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the anti-mask parents are more vocal & better organized because they're not overworked & exhausted HEALTHCARE WORKERS DURING A F*CKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC 🤦♀️🤷♀️🤦♀️
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*walking son up for bedtime*
14 yo: Hey, Mom?
Me: Yeah?
14: Will you snuggle with me?
Me, internally: be cool, be cool, be cool
Me: Um, yeah, sure. No problem.
😭😭😭😭😭
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When area children's hospital (@LurieChildrens) loans some ventilators to neighboring adult hospital (@NorthwesternMed) ❤💔😭❤😭💔❤
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Almost done with school year but today is the day I finally corrected my 4th grader's teacher when he called me Mrs and not Dr.
Because I earned title, because it's a strong example for young girls, and because dammit stop calling me my mother-in-law's name.
#WomenInMedicine
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At pediatrician’s office with teen
Nurse: Do they want the flu shot today?
Me: YES
Nurse: and the covid booster?
Me: YES
Nurse: and what about —
Me: ABSOLUTELY
Nurse: the meningitis one
Me: YES
#allthevaccines #tweetiatrician
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I take care of kids with serious neurologic conditions.
Every single day I make parents cry.
I tell them their child has
cerebral palsy
brain tumor
epilepsy
stroke
leukodystrophy
multiple sclerosis
brain malformation.
So every single day I need find the laughter too.
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Feel like I'm going to let down my colleagues and other professionals. But I've gotta say it:
I can't have it all. It's just impossible to balance working and parenting.
And the pandemic painfully demonstrates that no one really cares if we're leaving working women behind....
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To all the students, interns, residents, PhDs, postdocs, & new attendings disappointed your posters, papers, & presentations have been canceled: SHARE THEM BELOW and I will briefly glance at them, nod along, and pretend to be interested as I would've before. #yourewelcome
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it’s almost as if all the healthcare workers and all the patients hate the system and hate being treated like shit and are absolutely fed up and on the brink of total and complete collapse, while the health insurers made over 40 billion in profits last year
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Every time a celebrity dies everyone rushes in with all these beautiful tributes, memories, & stories and I'm all like OMG I NEED MORE INFO ABOUT THE CAUSE OF DEATH SO MANY QUESTIONS WAS IT A HEMORRHAGIC OR ISCHEMIC STROKE. 😥
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Really struggling with hospitals dropping mask mandates; how can we not continue to protect our most vulnerable? How is it that much of a hardship to require patients and healthcare providers to continue to mask in patient care areas?
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Some of you who aren't socially distancing haven't had to come home from work, avoiding hugging/touching your kids, strip down naked, & run to shower to avoid bringing a deadly virus home to your loved ones, AND IT SHOWS. #SocialDistancingNow
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Watching doctors, particularly pediatricians who have dedicated their lives to the health & overall well-being of children, get yelled at, attacked, & disparaged is simply heartbreaking. 💔💔💔
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Today I put on my big girl pants* & asked for financial compensation for my expertise. It was hard. And I'm super proud of myself.
*dress with pockets, obvi
#womeninmedicine
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Me to tween: is your friend vaccinated?
Tween: well she was the only one also wearing a helmet when biking so I'm assuming so 🤷♀️
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*talking to expectant mother*
Random mom: Go somewhere where you don't have to move to different room after delivery.
Other mom: And go where it's close & convenient.
Me: GO TO THE PLACE WHERE IF THE SHIT HITS THE FAN THEY CAN SAVE YOU & BABY.
#sorrynotsorry #mommedtwitter
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Family members planning to test before visit. They can't find test kits anywhere. All sold out.
HOLY SHIT WE'RE ALMOST TWO YRS INTO A GLOBAL PANDEMIC & THIS IS AMERICA'S REPONSE 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️😭😭😭
At-home test kits should be free, plentiful, & easy to get. You know, like Omicron.🤷♀️
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I schedule new pts for 60 min, returns for 30 min. And I only care for one organ system. The well child check for my kid is scheduled for 15 min, and it’s supposed to cover their entire body & vaccines & chronic conditions & mental health & safety & anticipatory guidance?!? 😭
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Lol those of you who think pediatricians are uptight about COVID haven't seen us around water. NEXT LEVEL ANXIETY. It only takes one bad outcome, pronouncing one kid brain dead, to leave an indelible print. And many of us have seen way more. Scarred by all our experiences. 💧😭💧
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Participated in a photo shoot celebrating post-partum bodies of all shapes & sizes & abilities & genders. As an ATTENDING. In my UNDERWEAR. #medbikini
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11 yr old: Wait. Now what's your specialty? An anesthesiologist? No, not that. We'd have a bigger house.
Solid burn.
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Parents: we don’t trust pediatricians who are just shills for big pharma
Also parents: we totally trust our functional medicine doc who only takes cash in exchange for special tests and supplements they recommend and happen to sell
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Don't know what your marriage is like. But my husband thinks he's smarter than our GPS. And we're on a road trip.
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As we're back to purchasing at-home test kits & upgraded masks, let's reflect again on how much easier it is to navigate a pandemic when one has economic resources.
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Today I made the absolutely correct, but sad nevertheless, decision to see an extra patient instead of making it to kid's last game of the season.
And the skies opened, the clouds cried, the game got rescheduled until tomorrow.
#womeninmedicine
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All these people wondering why we never took other infectious diseases in kids, like the flu, as seriously before have no idea the lives of pediatricians. I literally planned all three pregnancies around avoiding #rsv season as newborns.
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4th grader said they took some survey at school and 96% of kids said bullying is a problem. So they explained the instructions & made them retake the test. And it was 97% 😂🤣🤦♀️😭
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Don't typically pay much attention to follower count, but I've lost quite a few in the last week....
If you don't accept me for my BLM & anti-Trumpism posts, you don't deserve my donuts & cute shoes.
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Ugh. Ok, guess this needs to be said too:
If your doctor is wearing a mask in their office, there is seriously no reason to remind them masks are no longer required. Trust me, everyone knows. Those still wearing masks *want to* be wearing them.
#coveringRBF
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I just got Attendinged*.
*when an attending uncovers a major thing the patient didn't tell you even though you specifically asked
See, it's still happens to all of us.
#TipsForNewDocs
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Confession: I put stuff on my To Do list after it's done, just so I can then cross it off.
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Tween: This boy in class keeps kicking me
So I told the male teacher who just told kid to stop but he didn't
😭😭😭
So then I told the other female teacher & she said "Aww, some day you two will get married"
😳😡🤬🤬🤬
Tween: So I slapped him in the face & he stopped
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
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Pissed off my 1st grader today, and in a fit of rage to get back at me, he yells: And you know what? I'm gonna play football.
#micdrop #pedsneuro
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Just received info about #COVIDVaccine for my 9 yr old as soon as this weekend
I'm crying happy tears
I am a pediatrician. I'm chair of research review board at academic medical center.
And I trust the science
Better believe I'll be running to get my youngest vaccinated asap.
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Know what doctors hate? BEING CORRECT. Every time we suspect pt has cancer. Every time overwhelming evidence points to a degenerative disease. Every time we have to explain results of that confirmatory test.
WE KNEW COVID CASES WERE GOING TO SKYROCKET. And we hate being correct.
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Lol all these emails about how stores & restaurants are wiping surfaces, making sure employees wash hands, no one works sick omg what the hell were you doing before #covid19?
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Husband: want the good news or bad news?
Me: good
Him: we’re upgraded to first class!
Me: what’s the bad news?
H: we aren’t sitting together
Me: so, what’s the bad news? 🤣
ALT Legs crossed in airplane seat with lots of leg room; Fendi sneakers, black sweatpants
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Most people have no symptoms or mild flu-like illness, but are still contagious.
Small portion will experience more severe symptoms, and of those, some will die.
People who seem to recover can have symptoms later.
There's thankfully a vaccine.
POLIO. I'm taking about polio.
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Me: idk why people say doctors make the worst patients
Also me, finally seeking medical attention two weeks after injury:
🤷🏻♀️
ALT X ray of right foot with obvious fracture in baby metatarsal
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Lol remember the good ol' days when we would put on a pair of gloves to carefully wipe down surfaces now I'm just like whatever pour it all over me idgaf.
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Know what makes absolutely the *least* amount of money for physicians? PREVENTING DISEASE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Yet, here we are, begging everyone to mask, social distance, & do their part to prevent the spread of COVID-19.
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New interns:
As you begin tweeting your new journeys, pls remember
▪︎don't share sensitive/identifiable pt info (even age with very rare dz could be IDed)
▪︎your "exciting" or "1st" case is someone else's worst day ever
▪︎screenshots are forever
#TipsForNewDocs
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At beginning of the pandemic, my OCD was really bad, was too scared/distracted to eat, lost weight, and everyone commented on how "great" I looked. Now I'm much better, eating more, and a bit fluffier, lol, and the compliments have stopped.
WEIGHT IS NOT A PROXY FOR HEALTH.
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Ok, so let me get this straight.
Academic doctors submit publications for free.
Other academic doctors perform peer reviews without compensation.
Full texts are behind pay walls.
AND THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF JAMA MAKES A MILLION DOLLARS/YEAR?!?!
Holy. Shit.
I was nervous to step into this room, but have been inspired and so impressed by the other individuals in the selection committee. ama-assn.org/press-center/pr… You might also find it juicy to know that the position pays almost a million dollars a year...
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Me: Trump literally told people that disinfectants kill coronavirus so we should try them inside our bodies
11 yr old: That's a terrible idea. It would kill you.
THIS WEEK'S EPISODE OF MY 5TH GRADER IS WAY SMARTER THAN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
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Every time an online module needs to be completed, a tiny piece of a doctor's soul dies.
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Just 👏 because 👏 things 👏 are 👏 opening 👏 up 👏 doesn't 👏 mean 👏 COVID 👏 has 👏 gone 👏 away.
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it’s very hard listening to family members complain about their doctors when i know they’re prob trying their best but i also know the system is impossibly broken
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Omg when I asked peds neuro fellows for a hammer to borrow. We are the cutest. #pedsneuro
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Yes, I don't want my unvaccinated kid to get COVID. But I'm also limiting activities because it's an absolute pain in the ass to quarantine after potential exposure. Like it's worth the risk to go to in-person school. It's not worth the risk to eat cake at a kid's bday party.
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Your password will expire in 5 days.
Your password will expire in 4 days.
Your password will expire in 3 days.
Your password will expire in 2 days.
Your password will expire in 1 day.
*Locked out of Epic*
Dammit, I had no idea this was coming! F*cking hate EMR!
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Lol if you casually curbside me about a patient, DO NOT PUT A QUOTE & MY NAME IN THE MEDICAL RECORDS. This is why we can't have nice things.
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Med school grads: *before you frame your diplomas* make a bunch of copies for your files. You'll need them for license, credentials, etc. #TipsForNewDocs
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The hardest part of getting older is wondering if every random ache & pain is just normal shit or the initial presentation of a potentially fatal condition.
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Huh. Somehow all the shit I'm pandemic buying isn't fixing my depression or anxiety. But AT LEAST I'M STYLISHLY DEPRESSED & ADORABLY ANXIOUS.
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For folks who've stayed so safe for so long & ultimately got COVID anyway, it's not your fault. It's v contagious & our public health system let us down😭
You made it to vax & boosters & we know more now than we did 2 yrs ago💖
Wishing you an uneventful course & full recovery💕
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Neither my husband nor I grew up with a lot of money. So we sometimes struggle/feel guilty about buying nice things. Except honeycrisp apples. Absolutely no regrets. #attendinglevelapples
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I'm gonna say this is nicely as possible: IF YOU ORDER A STUDY & IT'S F*CKING ABNORMAL, PLEASE TELL FAMILY/PATIENT *BEFORE* YOU REFER THEM TO NEUROLOGY.
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anyone else still holding/hoarding ALL their pandemic-related stuff, including masks, face shields, goggles, test kits, hand sanitizer, etc?!?! too traumatized to let it go plus worried we’ll need it again
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Looking at footage from Atlanta polling location, seeing room of Black women working tirelessly to count all the votes, thinking ffs they're doing all the heavy lifting *again* to save our democracy. #ElectionResults2020
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4 yrs med school
3 yrs residency
3 yrs fellowship
To prepare to be a doctor
And I'm good at it.
Really good.
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It's hard being a grownup, trying to hold it all together as a parent and wife and doctor, while I'm internally losing my shit.
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