Husband, father, random sayer of stuff.
Manhattanland
- Tweets 3,272
- Following 160
- Followers 20,738,173
- Likes 346
Utterly ignorant and classless, Mr. Woods. I'm friends with this family. You know not of what you speak, and should be ashamed of yourself.
This is sweet. Wait until this poor kid grows up, realizes what you've done, and stuffs both of you dismembered into a freezer in the garage
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Guess what? @DavidBurtka and I got married over the weekend. In Italy. Yup, we put the 'n' and 'd' in 'husband'.
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Happy Anniversary, David. It's so hard on Twitter to express my feelings toward you, with only 140 characters to do so. But I'll try: I lov
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Game.
Of.
Thrones.
Goodgod.
Ohmygod.
Thatwasbrilliant.
#gameofthrones
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Sorry I haven’t tweeted in a while. My son introduced me to this game called Hay Day, and now every time I open my phone to do anything, I just wind up harvesting crops and relocating my silo.
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Proud of all who marched and/or took action today around the world. It was inspiring and, try as others might, impossible to ignore.
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I just uttered my last word as Barney "Awesomepants" Stinson today. Nine years. Man, time sure flies when you're having fun...
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I'm gagging over @ladygaga and her halftime show. She was everything. Creative and fearless and inclusive. Loved.
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As a tired parent, I’m legitimately stoked that the Barbie Dream Camper took no time to assemble. I’ve spent the last two hours appreciating that fact as I apply the 30+ stickers onto its various surfaces. #Christmas2018
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The twins' first day of kindergarten. So many feels: excited, nervous, giddy, wistful. But mostly proud. Can't wait to see who they become.
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Happy birthday, @CobieSmulders! You're the coolest, hottest, awesomest girl I've ever had the pleasure to know/kiss/marry/divorce/love.
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I like how, when you type the word ‘trump’ on your iphone, it doesn’t autocorrect and capitalize the ‘T’. I’m okay with that.
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The tragedy in Orlando is just beyond sad. My deepest regrets to all those suffering. There are no words that suffice. I'm...stunned.
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'I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.' - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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It's a new day. Thank you Supreme Court. Thank you Justice Kennedy. Your opinion is profound, in more ways than you may know. #huzzah
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I love sharing a lifetime of adventures with this man. Thanks, @burtka. May 2018 be our most exciting year yet! #Patagonia
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Can’t believe that tomorrow is my last day as Count Olaf. For over two years I’ve gotten to play in the most creative, visual, challenging, fantastical sandbox of my career. I’m super proud, and will miss it greatly. @Unfortunate
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Here’s a candid pic of the HIMYM cast before going onstage at ComicCon. Love this gang.
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Happy New Year! May your 2015 be filled with health, humor and happiness. Love, the Burtka-Harris Bunch @Davidburtka
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Have a spooktacular night! Here's our family Halloween pic (via @projectphotoboo):
Well done, @DavidBurtka!
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A Series of Unfortunate Events lost at last night’s Emmys to Sesame Street. I’d say I was bummed, but Catherine O’Hara told me: losing an Emmy to ‘When You Wish Upon A Pickle’ is in many ways, a funnier way to end the story. I like that. #befitting #countolaf @netflix @TheEmmys
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Debbie Reynolds played my grandma once, and she was the best. Hilarious, smart, bawdy, kind, classy. Losing her and Carrie this way? So sad.
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I am stunned and just reeling from the news of Robin Williams' death. He brought so much joy and heart to millions... Just, wow.
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Just finished the initial read thru of the final How I Met Your Mother. Ever.
Holy moly.
Just... holy dang moly.
#soproud
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Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! I sure am thankful for Canada. I spend a majority of my time there lately, working, and there is a lot to love.
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Eleven years ago today, I went on a date with @DavidBurtka. Now we're married, have two kids, and great good times. Happy Anniversary!
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Absolutely stunned to hear about Bob Saget. He was always so kind and generous and hilarious. Gone too soon. #RIP
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When I grow up, I wanna be @Pink in concert. She is a gorgeous, fearless, vocal powerhouse dancing acrobat super hero and I want to run away and join her circus.
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This I Want for Xmas: the instrument I played in middle/high school - a French horn (brass, not blue. Sorry, Ted). I’d love to relearn how to play one again.
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Given all the political discourse today I think it important to note that my birthday is in one week. That's all. Shipping info's in my bio.
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Happy NY Pride!! I'm so proud to live in such an inclusive, accepting city. Have fun, stand tall, help others and make smart choices!🌈🕺🏼❤️
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Gene Wilder passed away. Wow what a lovely career. Wonka, Dr. Frankenstein, Jim the Waco Kid... Sending strength to his wife of 25 yrs. #RIP
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I can’t wrap my head around the atrocity in Vegas. Sending my heart and deepest regrets to the families and friends affected. #prayforvegas
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Haven't worn scrubs since '93. Now I'm back in 'em, helping @Cigna save 100K lives. Here's our #ad... Now #GoKnowTakeControl !
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What the what what?? What just happened?!? How did Emma Stone's name get in a second envelope? Weirdest. Ending. Ever.
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I just watched the #lastjedi trailer and now I just, you know, really want to be in a Star Wars movie. I feel like a kid again. So stoked.
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Happy 4th birthday, Gideon and Harper. I can't believer that you used to be tiny baby things. And now, this.
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My face hurts from smiling. That was one of the coolest things I've ever gotten to see. Much much love. Well done, Grammys.
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Given the stunning and tragic circumstances, it seems important to be kind, not cruel. Stay strong, London. Don't let random hate overwhelm.
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I proudly raise a pint glass of Guinness and toast the people of Ireland for voting by a sweeping majority to legalize same sex marriage!
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Tomorrow is my first day of shooting as Count Olaf. I'd cross my fingers but I can't trim my nails. #unfortunate
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My birthday is less than a week away. Still plenty of time for gifts to arrive. Address in bio. Thanks in advance. I love it/them.
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I just really do need to visit Australia now. They vote for love. Bravo! #progress
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So first I saw the dress as white and gold, and only that. Now, it's absolutely blue and black. How?!? Does this make me bi-dress-ual?
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Star Wars: The Force Awakens not being nominated for a Best Picture Oscar is horse shit.
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I thought @jimmykimmel was an excellent Oscar host last night. He’s classy, clever, and makes it all look so easy (which it most decidedly isn’t). The fact that he’s one of the nicer people you’ll ever meet is just gravy. And who doesn’t love gravy? #bravo
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It's the day of the show, y'all. #Oscars @TheAcademy
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Too cool for school. But not really - it's just an expression. Kids: stay in school.
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“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” - -Martin Luther King, Jr.
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This morning the family came downstairs to find that leprechauns had trashed the place! Gah! #mischief
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Today's my birthday! Yippee! All I ask is this: please, please no presents. Your twitterness is gift enough. #ish
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Happy Halloween everyone! Hope your tricking and treating gotcha lotsa booty! Here’s our family costume pic: http://t.co/lRJNkR59
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The new iPhone update claimed that I can use my phone to pay for subway rides, and what, whaaat? - IT WORKS! #awesome #apple #phoningitin #thefuture #MTA #fourfivesix
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Happy Pride Ever'one! Open your hearts, your eyes, your minds. All is love, all is good. Stand tall. Smile. Dance. Live life large! #pride
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Playing the rebel is always fun. Especially when it’s for a @Cigna #ad to get you to an annual check-up. #GoKnowTakeControl
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It's National Coming Out Day. If you're a chick who chooses chicks or a dude who digs dudes today's a swell day to let it be known. #allgood
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Best birthday present ever. apnews.com/ef3c19a79b65c060f…
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I feel bad for all involved: Warren, Jimmy, Marc Platt and the incredible La La Land team. That said, congrats to Moonlight. It's brilliant.
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I love my friends. I LOVE my family. But in some ways they all pale in comparison to the Day-After-Thanksgiving-Dinner sandwich.
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Happy New Year! As a gift to you, I will SPOIL season 3 of Series of @Unfortunate Events (streaming tomorrow!) - I win! I catch the Baudelaire children, steal their fortunes, and end their lives. Ha! Well, I rewrote the script and am pretty sure they took my notes, sooo, 🤞🏼.
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Spending my birthday quarantining in Australia with my family. Tight quarters, but TBH, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. 48 is gonna rock.
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I am overwhelmed with pride and so inspired by the hundreds of thousands of people who are marching to end gun violence. And it’s all spearheaded by a younger, smarter generation. So awesome. #MarchForOurLives
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Happy Cinco de Mayo! I applaud the Mexican Army's victory at the Battle of Puebla in 1862 but I'm just not sure how mayonnaise got involved.
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The great @Davidburtka took me on a boat ride around the city of NYC. What a fantastic way to celebrate my birthday!
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Never mind. I’ve got the two best gifts in the world sitting right in front of me.
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My book tour travels are now complete! Hope the book gives you a lift. Now back to these amazing knuckleheads. #NYC
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Sad about Barbara Bush’s passing. She lived quite a life - relocated her family 27 times, thrived in multiple presidential bubbles, accomplished lots as a First Lady, fought for global literacy - and showed humor and class through it all. May she rest in peace.
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My 2017 Resolutions: 1) do less, enjoy more. 2) stand tall. 3) take time for reflection, find contentment. 4) fly private more often.
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Our children are obsessed with Frozen. I've heard Let It Go 83 thousand times. #stillloveit #idinarules
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A heartfelt HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the wonderful @DavidBurtka - the best dad in the world. I'm so glad you were born!
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Wow. Instagram switched @DavidBurtka 's handle when I linked Twitter to the post. Gross. Sorry. Here's the pic again:
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I just watched the #lastjedi trailer and now I just, you know, really want to be in a Star Wars movie. I feel like a kid again. So stoked.
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Happy New Year, Twitterland. May your 2022 be prosperous, generous, immersive, entertaining, thoughtful, and slightly less mask-y. Be safe, be smart, be kind. Much love.
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Took the kids to their first Broadway show today: the Lion King. Mine was 25 years ago: Les Miserables. It's the circle of life...
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How I Met Your Mother, season 9 has officially commenced! We had our first read thru today. Can’t believe it - the beginning of the end.
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Today is my awesome husband @Davidburtka ‘s birthday! I want this day to feel special - he deserves it - so if you have a free minute send him a tweet!
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