#TRUCKHECK & #VIDEOBALL & youtube @actionbutton business inquiries: hello@actionbutton.com
New York, NY
- Tweets 47,140
- Following 776
- Followers 59,083
- Likes 9,908
i ran out of my crohn's disease medication a couple weeks back. coincidentally, i now know what the symptoms of crohn's disease feel like. also, i am experiencing an outbreak of shingles. i spent all day on the phone today, and learned i can't get health insurance until 2021.
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this is an actual crime. circa-2008 i used youtube for two things: watching "i can't believe you've done this" and showing other people "i can't believe you've done this." youtube owe this man a reversal of this inanity AND a cut of all ad revenue across youtube's history
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next sunday is october tenth. i don't care if you're from the united states OR kingdom: that is the best possible day for me, a Video Game Critiquer, to release a hideously massive video review of @CyberpunkGame. i will take no further questions. sunday 10/10, 10am eastern.
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big news: i have decided that the second i click "public" on this video sunday morning, i am taking two full weeks off. i will do absolutely nothing. i ain't even gonna play any video games. don't even email me. well, back to work
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announcement: as many of you have decoded from my recent videos, i have decided to step away from full-time work at @Kotaku effective today, in order to focus on @ActionButton's #TRUCKHECK, other Exciting Endeavors, and my health.
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lmao @Konami, my DMs are open
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i have thought about this video literally at least twice a day since its birth. today i feel confident declaring it Video Of The Year 2020. just a perfect two-minute masterclass in writing the kind of joke i most enjoy. thank you for the video and happy new year chris fleming
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hello! it's me, the guy who made the six-hour video (series) about tokimeki memorial. when you leave a comment asking "what is wrong with me???" because you watched the whole thing, the answer is "it sounds like you enjoyed something a guy spent like a year working on. it's ok!!"
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i have read every word on the yelp pages of literally 200 new york pizzerias so far this week and this is the best screenshot yet
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wow that QUANTIC DREAM logo at the end of that star wars game trailer was perhaps the most groinkickulous moment in video game advertising history. lmao the game awards are off to quite the heck of a start. i love it
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i made a massive patreon post about this, so here's the tiny twitter version: the cyberpunk video is REAL GOOD (and huge). it's gonna take another month. it's the best thing i've ever made, so please wait a little longer so i can finesse it! expect it week one of august.
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BIG NEWS: after a year and a half of being My Beast Friend, as of this week "Little" Bibbithy "Bibby" D'Babbis Babbis has started approaching my desk and explicitly asking to be lifted into my lap, where he stands on all fours staring at the front door (his favorite stare-target)
ALT sweet little permababy pomeranian standing on my lap as i sit in my office chair at my computer in a quite-dark RGB-lit room. he has a happy little face and is staring intently in in a direction facing away from me. i'm wearing a nice red sugar-cane-brand check shirt because it's cold in new york today (the end times are comin, jerry!) and i'm not wearing my glasses because they make my migraines MUCH worse these days than they usually do
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if you have one dog and you get a second dog, it's like you're giving each dog a new dog
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if you needed to understand the greatness of an OLED TV and only had two seconds to spend researching, here's two photos (as for why turning my ps5's HDR off makes my OLED suddenly look like an LCD (image #2) . . . i don't know)
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i am in the middle of editing my cyberpunk video over here and i just have literally no idea how people are going to watch even thirty seconds of this without having at least two strokes
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*all* of the people in my inboxes who are mad at me that my cyberpunk 2077 video isn't out yet are just gonna be mad AGAIN when it *does* come out, and ruins their lives. why not just smoke some weed and go to bed instead of yellin at me ya poindexters (seriously, it'll be soon)
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Some Concerned Viewers emailed to ask if my decades-outspoken disapproval of cops has changed in the last two weeks because i have not tweeted about cops lately: no, it hasn’t. cops are fundamentally evil; if you disagree, don’t embarrass yourself in the replies. my DMs are open
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when final fantasy xiv first came out in 2010, i said i'd play it only when the developers guaranteed me i could walk all the way to the end. i have heard they recently trademarked a word which indicates i can now do that. so, this friday, Twitch Dot TV Slash Action Button
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this is incredible! i am not a (strictly speaking) Simpsons Guy at all, though this contains so many anecdotes about writing (and advertising, etc) that resonate so ultra-heavily with me personally that i wonder if it's time to rewatch those first eight seasons or so
In a shocking Sunday surprise, legendary Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder just gave his first interview EVER. Very interesting stuff from a man who most Simpsons diehards know for the many mythic tales told of him by the other writers! newyorker.com/culture/the-ne…
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john mccain's body is still warm and you all are hatin on him like he's already bones. why? because the building blew up? he singlehandedly killed THIRTEEN terrorists (on christmas!) with NO SHOES. he saved MOST of the hostages!! he did the best that he could
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i loved DEATH STRANDING. people will be talking about it for decades.
please read @transgamerthink's review on @Kotaku, which contains a(n enormous) video by me.
kotaku.com/death-stranding-t…
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i posted this on instagram earlier (@ cviii) though here is what i wore yesterday (halloween). of course, i called my dog "short round" all day.
i promise to never wear all of these items at the same time outside ever again (unless it's for a sufficiently comical reason)
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if this gets 1,000 RTs i'll read the entire novel "DOOM: KNEE-DEEP IN THE DEAD" live on a stream, on camera, accepting donations for a charity.
(if this doesn't get 1,000 RTs i'll probably do it anyway, though the 1,000 RTs would make me feel like someone planned to watch it!)
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many critics in its day called KING'S FIELD (1994) a "DOOM Clone". DEMON'S SOULS (2009) began as a KING'S FIELD revival project. therefore modern games aren't "like DARK SOULS"--DARK SOULS is a DOOM Clone
sorry! i don't make the rules
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I'm personally quite happy that my introduction at this late date to @108 is his Cyberpunk 2077 review.
It is a comedic masterpiece.
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several people have sent me this, and:
1. yes, lol
2. actually, a 90-minute film and a 3-hour youtube essay about a video game aren't actually trying to do the same thing to your brain! and that's ok for both you AND the video essay (and the film (and your brain))
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"walking the dog" takes on a whole new meaning when you are the sole guest on the top floor of a hotel in times square during a global virus situation that has eliminated tourism and bottomed out hotel room rates
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HELLO! i have a patreon: one huge, monthly, hour-long, meticulous, unconventional video review of a game i love. i have 37 videos in the planning stages already. patreon.com/actionbutton
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we watched the suicide squad last night. i didn't know who most of the promised-canonical comic book characters in it were, yet i somehow grew to like some of them anyway. what's next? a guy just making up some NEW characters and making a movie about THEM??? could be interesting
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OH BABY!!!!!!!!!!
next sunday is october tenth. i don't care if you're from the united states OR kingdom: that is the best possible day for me, a Video Game Critiquer, to release a hideously massive video review of @CyberpunkGame. i will take no further questions. sunday 10/10, 10am eastern.
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well, YouTube Dot Com Slash ActionButton has reached 100,000 subscribers. i told myself i'd hide my subscriber count if it got to 100,000, so i have done that. if you ever want to know how many subscribers i have, just do the reasonable thing and assume it's "less than a million"
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the doctor was incredible, like a doctor in a piece of literature. she wrote "FINANCIAL HARDSHIP" on my paperwork and said the clinic would waive my fee. i said, "no, seriously, i can pay." she looked me in the eye (mouth invisible) and said "no one should have to pay for this"
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srsly guys i have typography dot com open in a tab literally right now. they got a lotta good ones on there, guys
hey @SquareEnix did you know that you can PAY for a really, really, really good font for like only $120 . . . i, uh, i will buy it for you, if you want . . . seriously, my DMs are open
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flying to indiana tomorrow to shoot my cyberpunk video. it contains my favorite piece of writing i've ever written for publication. while editing it yesterday i kept thinking, "shouldn't i . . . send this somewhere--get it published?" had to remind myself i *am* a publication now
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the video is still processing. however, it is now 5pm on thursday, which is the deadline i decided upon for Drastic Action: i will now export and upload the video in two separate parts. this represents a crushing defeat of one of my Core Values lmao though i bet it's gonna work
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"well i've had a successful youtube channel for a little over a year now. maybe it's time to learn how to properly light my face!" ten minutes later: . . . i really wish i'd tried this like 11 months ago
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i'm gonna need people in my youtube comments to 100% stop saying "this should have more views." you all absolutely need to learn to Genuinely ENJOY liking something *more* BECAUSE it's Not Really That Popular lmao
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wow! i sure am glad i have seen the matrix, the matrix reloaded, the matrix revolutions, and the animatrix--AND that i've played enter the matrix and the matrix: path of neo . . . AND that i've watched all of the matrix online cutscenes on youtube
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as i said in the fine print abovr, i don't understand how youtube processing works. this is a huge 4K60fps video. i have no idea what is taking so long. i haven't slept in four days. i am going to bed. i will launch the video whenever youtube is ready. and i'll let you know! oops
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also, stop sending me horrifying emails. stop threatening to kill me. you've been doing it every day for like two months. also, stop sending me terrible emails specifically because i talk about receiving terrible emails. you're somehow worse than the death-threateners lmao
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been repeating the same frustrating two-minute segment of a video game for footage capture purposes for a half an hour, with this beautiful baby boy just staring up at me like this the whole time
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ah, man. man, i can't believe i replayed every grand theft auto game this year and now they're releasing this collection. it looks so good. well, i guess i gotta play em all again lol
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i love that the FFVII Remake PlayStation 5 graphics upgrade is a free patch. every time i expressed hope they'd do it this way, i got some pessimistic numbskull jutting in with a "they'll probably charge $60 for it!" well, thanks to my ~believing~, it is free!! you're welcome
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BIG NEWS! you can turn off autoplaying previews on @Netflix now. log in on a web browser, click on "manage profiles", click on a profile, and then uncheck "autoplay previews while browsing on all devices."
wow! it only took them like three YEARS to look at their twitter mentions
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i've been venturing outside for one short walk around midtown manhattan per day and it just hit me: it's JUST like grand theft auto 3 out here. too few cars, not enough pedestrians, WAY too many cops, random shrieking arguments between NPCs, can't go inside most buildings
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i am gonna need people to stop tweeting "can't wait for the [twelve]-hour review!!!!!" or whatever every time i ever tweet about literally anything. please . . . if you like my videos, perhaps you have noticed that i find HUNDREDS of new jokes every video. try it sometime
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by turning the replies off, i require you to quote-tweet. i *inspire* you to make My Tweet into *Your Own Content*. that's not "censorship": that's an early christmas present, jerry
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people will not *stop* begging me to Say Mean Stuff About NFTs. i can't do it. it'd be punching down. NFTs are a plot device from a short story by the one guy in your circa-1996 creative writing class who dared dabble in any genre other than "just learned who raymond carver is"
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if you (a united-states-of-american) don't currently have health insurance: Did You Know they mega-extended the deadline to august 15th? that's sunday, though, and it's a slightly more laborious process than it should be, so i recommend you go through it right now
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wow, here's May 1994 Charles Barkley with a timely message for a few particular people here in 2020
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sony is skipping e3. i’m not. i’ll be there, eating out of the trash. please throw away something low-carb. if you see me on the show floor in front of a camera, do whatever you can to make me scream. if you see me outside the convention center after dark, kill me with a knife
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wow! if you don’t normally watch the academy awards you might be interested to know that the theme this year is “90s Cars”! i am hoping to see some sweet hondas and toyotas tonight
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i just had to pop into my tokimeki memorial review project file for a couple minutes to clip something and wow
1. it sure is organized!
2. this new PC sure is about 16x faster than my old one!
3. lmao this video owns
4. please keep backing this patreon because There's More
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ten days ago i turned 40. i have been a vegetarian for 30 years. somehow i *love* in n out grilled cheese sandwiches. i have never eaten a fast food hamburger. i am in los angeles until wednesday. if this gets 10,000 retweets i will eat a double-double
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slotting a royalty-free cello cover of "do you know the muffin man" under a serious monologue hours into a massive video and fondly remembering the guy who emailed to neg my "pedestrian" classical music choices, boast his musicology degree, and offer me a "free consultation"
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update: i have just typed "download blade runner font" into google AND pressed enter
*all* of the people in my inboxes who are mad at me that my cyberpunk 2077 video isn't out yet are just gonna be mad AGAIN when it *does* come out, and ruins their lives. why not just smoke some weed and go to bed instead of yellin at me ya poindexters (seriously, it'll be soon)
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monday was my birthday so in the spirit of Birthday Week i played the FFVII Remake PS5 upgrade tonight. i also played that ratchet and clank. uhh: i built a new ~$8000 PC this year, yet ratchet and clank's graphics still blew my mind
i hope everybody can get a PS5 someday soon!!
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here's 12 perfectly looping seconds of a cop laughing at you in pokemon sword and shield
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it took me eight years to get 20,000 twitter followers. then i got to 30,000 in two more years. then i quit my job and started my ridiculous youtube channel and have gotten 20k additional buddies in less than one year!! that's wild . . . now i have another numeral to be afraid of
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i say this, maybe, because i don't want to think there *is* anything "wrong" with you for watching my six-hour video about tokimeki memorial. because if there is something wrong with YOU for *watching* it, that does NOT bode well for me for making it lmao
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