The oddly informative news quiz from NPR

Chicago, USA
We just got the heartbreaking news that our dear friend and Score Keeper Emeritus Carl Kasell has passed away. Carl was warm, funny, caring, and put up with our nonsense with a knowing smile and a wink. In a word, he was a gentleman. Love you, Carl. npr.org/2017/05/16/528656453…
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LAWYER: We got you an interview with Gayle King. It's the perfect chance to show potential jurors a different side of you. Maybe someone who loves her family? MIYA: I'll get my daddy hat. LAWYER: Sounds great...no, wait...your what?
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Hey! We’re off this week, which means it’s the perfect time to catchup on our show. Like this episode from four weeks ago with special guest Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr)! This episode knows words, it has the best words. 📝
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Shoot, Facebook is down. Does anyone else know where I can find misinformation about vaccines spread by people trying to get me to join their MLMs?
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Now he's just 8 impeachments away from a free 6" sub with the purchase of a medium fountain drink
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“The senator’s time has expired” has never felt more appropriate than after John McCain’s set of questions.
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It’s our 24th anniversary today, and we’re celebrating turning 24 in the traditional way: by breaking up with our commitment-phobic boyfriend and asking our stylist to give us bangs that we instantly regret
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Honestly, I can't believe that Spirit Halloween is allowed to get away with stuff like this:
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It’s an incredi-Bill day, because it’s Bill Kurtis’ 80th birthday!! 🎂🎉 We’re so lucky to have a judge and scorekeeper who knows how to count without using his fingers. Stay classy Bill 😎
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Does anybody know if it’s hard to get Canadian citizenship?
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Delighted to announce that our guest this week is the amazingly funny and amazingly tall @ConanOBrien! Want him to play our game on your behalf? Respond to this tweet with the Wait Wait panelist you'd most like hosting a late night show, and you could win!
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Something about this week makes me think that Trump's Supreme Court pick will be thirty tarantulas in a trench coat.
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While we self isolate, you can look forward to a new episode of the show this week! Our guest this week makes us laugh and we hope he makes you smile too. It’s Stephen Colbert! He’ll be joined by panelists Luke Burbank, Paula Poundstone, and Maz Jobrani! Now wash your hands! 🧼
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My favorite part of tonight’s #GameofThrones was the 5 minute trailer before the episode for HBO’s new shows, all of which are titled, “SWEET JESUS, PLEASE DON’T CANCEL YOUR ACCOUNT.”
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Finally, the world's supply of capital letters and exclamation points can breathe a long overdue sigh of relief.
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Biden - 264 Trump - 214 I Am Javert, Do Not Forget My Name, Do Not Forget Me - 24601
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How sad is it that we—America—missed out on our chance to hear Robert Siegel say ‘sh*thole’?
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WE. WERE. ROBBED. #FakeNewsAwards
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State of the Union drinking game: Don’t drink anything, because the risk of doing a spit-take and making a mess of your living room is just too great.
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No new show this week, as Peter is being visited by three ghosts who will teach him the true spelling of Hanukkah
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For what it's worth, if Mike Bloomberg wants to donate $500 million to his local NPR station, I will MAKE SURE he wins at least the Listener Limerick Challenge.
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My favorite Beach Boys song is "Would It Be Nice?"
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Call us when he adopts 16 cats.
Timothée Chalamet is setting beautifully into his Cocky Young Paula Poundstone phase
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HELP DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF A CAPS LOCK? VOTE!
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Huh, that's strange, I thought that the past year-and-a-half was a presidential alert.
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If you’re wondering how we’re getting the show done in light of the current circumstances, this is how! We’ve had to throw it back to the dark ages of Wait Wait, aka 1998.
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The New York Times Wordle is like having an old friend who used to just wear a t-shirt and jeans show up to your house in a top hat and tails insisting on calling Champagne “Shawm-pan-yah”
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Thrilled to announce that our guest in Savannah this week is @staceyabrams! Want a chance to have her play our game on your behalf? Just tweet which panelist you'd like to see deliver a State of the Union response and you could win!
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Man, the FCC repealing #NetNeutraility is just like, [PLEASE PAY 4.99 TO READ PUNCHLINE]
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Our guest this week knows a thing or two about answering questions on the fly. She’s an Oscar, Emmy, and Golden Globe award winning actress who stars in the new movie “Bad Education.” It’s Allison Janney! 🎥 She’ll be joined by panelists Faith Salie, Mo Rocca, and Luke Burbank!
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Spotted at the #WomensMarch in NYC. Can someone start a chant in the form of a limerick to help them out?
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When you’re working for the president, but your real dream is being a server at Disney World’s Liberty Square.
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Along the same lines, NPR now stands for Acronyms Are Hard.
CNN now stands for Cardiac Care Network because their ppl are having heart attacks over Trump doing what Dems once demanded-fire Comey.
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If you assumed that Betsy DeVos was the kind of person who ate the entire meal before complaining to get free food, good news! Now you have proof.
BREAKING: Education Secretary Betsy DeVos has resigned. She is the latest administration official to quit in response to the violent insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. trib.al/Zp91cP1
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Welp, it looks like someone’s just been thrown under the Priebus.
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Cokie Roberts was, and will continue to be, an inspiration. Brilliant, funny, kind, tenacious. Public radio wouldn't be what it is today without her voice, a voice that will be missed by all of us here at NPR and the world at large. Thank you for everything, Cokie.
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Happy New Year from all of us at Wait Wait! We really hope that we'll be able to do the show safely in person in 2021, and if we do, please know that Peter will still be recording the whole thing in his business sweatpants.
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The CDC just announced that it’s okay to jump on this Twitter trend even though you’re a full 24 hours late and all the good jokes are taken
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Yikes. I hope that no one finds the audio of Roxanne asking Bill to "Find me just 4 more points in the Lightning Fill in the Blank Round"
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Honestly, Mooch, we’ve been asking ourselves that same question for 20 years.
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But, how does the fly on Mike Pence’s head feel about fracking?
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What's that word for when something is completely crazy yet not at all surprising?
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We’ve been nominated for the 2020 Radio Hall of Fame, and you get to vote! If we win, we’ll stop making promo posters using comic sans. If we lose, we’ll ONLY make promo posters using comic sans. Consider this a threat. Voting ends August 9th, link in bio! 📮
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We're heartbroken, but no one would've enjoyed this hour of confusion more than PJ. He was as kind as he was funny, and we'll miss him more than we can say.
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We’re delighted to announce that @pattonoswalt will be joining our panel this week, alongside @Faith_Salie and @atpburke!
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#HappyNewYears to everyone that, like us, are going to bed at 7:30. So excited to wake up at 3am to get a glass of that sweet, sweet 2019 water.
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THIS JUST IN: Wait Wait has obtained an exclusive video of #JeffSessions learning that he's been fired from his position as US Attorney General.
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We're back from our break fully refreshed and ready to tackle this week's news! **checks news** Oh...wait...sorry, I think we left something in our car. **Tires squeal, @PeterSagal rides into the sunset and is never seen again**
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It’s Wait Wait’s 25th anniversary! We’d never have made it this long without every single one of you, along with our brilliant panelists, guests, staff, and all the dumb criminals who shoved something goofy down their pants. Also, we’ll be accepting gifts all year. No rush!
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We’ve been begging Peter to let us give him a makeover, and now we finally have the chance. Our guest this week is life coach and star of Queer Eye, Karamo Brown! Karamo will be joined Mo Rocca, Faith Salie, and introducing our new panelist, Demi Adejuyigbe (@electrolemon)‼️
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LAWYER: Okay, we can all see the daddy hat was a bad idea, but I think we can still find a way to make sure that it's not the main takeaway from this interview MIYA: By telling Gayle to shut up LAWYER: What? No...definitely not MIYA: TRUST ME
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This weekend, Jon Hamm handsomes up our radio show.
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Thrilled to announce that the guest for our San Antonio show will be Texas' own @DanRather! If you want a chance to have Mr. Rather play our game on your behalf, choose a panelist to host the nightly news and tweet what their sign-off phrase would be.
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“The leaks are real, but the news is fake.” Eat your heart out, Schrödinger.
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Rahm Emanuel just announced he won't be running for reelection, in case anyone was wondering exactly how powerful a Chance the Rapper diss track is.
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Since @NPR beat us to tweeting Martin Luther’s 95 Thesis, we’ll have to go with our plan b: Tweeting the lyrics to Nena’s ’99 Luftballons.'
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Happy #ElectionDay2018, everyone! It's the one day where adults get to be the ones who are excited about getting a free sticker. STAY IN YOUR LANE, FIVE-YEAR-OLD WHO JUST WENT TO THE DENTIST.
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Good news! Thanks to Trump’s decision to pull out of the #ParisClimateDeal, we’ve all been cast in the newest Mad Max movie.
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If there's any justice in the world, the person who chose this image/headline combo will be promoted immediately.
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I am the egg man. They are the egg men. I am the walrus. Covfefe.
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Tag some friends and hunker down! Which house are you quarantining in?🧻 Choose wisely, our panelists are taking this personally. And if you don’t think Bill holds a grudge...👀
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Thrilled to announce that our guest this week is Aaron Sorkin! In order to make him more comfortable, @PeterSagal will be conducting the entire interview while walking down an endless hallway.
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Farewell, Sean Spicer. Please know that the office is eating a 21 gum salute in your honor. #SeanSpicer
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Thrilled to announce that our guest this week is the ever-delightful Henry Winkler (@hwinkler4real)! Interested in having him play on your behalf? Just let us know what you think the topic of the game will be, and you could win!
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A farewell to Steve Bannon, who's stepping down to devote all of his energy to curing whatever is going on with his face.
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Please, tell me there’s also a small chance that #Moonlight actually beat the Patriots at the Superbowl.
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Today, we wish a very, very happy birthday to our own Bill Kurtis! In celebration, reply with your best Bill pun and we'll print them all out and wrap his presents in them.
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In other news, I'm declaring myself the winner of the 2021 NCAA Men's Basketball Championship.
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Oh, Chicago, you look very crowded and kinda sweaty tonight. But, honestly, you’re totally pulling it off. #waitwait20th
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Thrilled (and, honestly a little shocked) that the incredible Malala Yousafzai is our guest this week! She and guest host @joshgondelman will talk Nobels, Oscars, and Beyoncé vs. Taylor Swift. Join us this weekend, because you wouldn’t want to disappoint Malala, would you?
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In the end, the important thing was the friends we made along the way. And, by friends, I mean the bots we paid to increase our follower count.
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Thrilled to announce that our guest at Carnegie Hall tonight is the amazing Candice Bergen! Interested in having her play out game on your behalf? Tweet us what you think the Not My Job topic will be, and you might win!
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We're less NPR's flagship, and more their party barge. So long as your idea of party is people sipping white wine spritzers while talking about goat yoga.
This @NPR Jeopardy answer prompted two wrong questions in response: “What is Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me?” Good news for ⁦⁦@waitwait⁩. Not so good for ⁦@npratc⁩.
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So embarrassing, but I just looked over the transcript, and I meant to type "wouldn't." Sorry everyone.
My favorite Beach Boys song is "Would It Be Nice?"
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We were planning on live-tweeting the debate last night, but somehow even we couldn't get a word in edgewise
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It's supposed to be -30 in Chicago tomorrow, but did you know that every resident of the city carries around an emergency deep dish pizza that they can curl up in for warmth? Take that, New York!
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This seems like the perfect time to announce our new seafood restaurant, Squid Pro Quo.
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LEFT: Wait Wait at Millennium Park RIGHT: Trump's Inauguration Presented without comment. (Photo credits: Koz Koske, @Lucas_Jackson_)
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Happy 4th of July, everyone! And an even happier 5th of July, the day that we reserve to apologize to every dog we see for the things that happened the day before.
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If you absolutely need to share what genitals your baby has with the world, we suggest buying a cake!🎂
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We’re thrilled to announce that our guest this week is the nation’s foremost Larry David impersonator, @SenSanders.
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For our 20th Anniversary Show this weekend, we’re pulling out all the stops and (almost) all the panelists. Plus, NPR legends Robert Siegel and @NinaTotenberg! This is the big one, folks, you don’t want to miss it. #waitwait20
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When the stage manager refuses to turn the heat up to 79° LIKE YOU ASKED
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There may be no crying in baseball, but there is crying from excitement: it’s Tom Hanks! 🎞 Tom will be joined by panelists Negin Farsad, Adam Felber, and Peter Grosz!
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Yesterday, two old friends, who just happen to be titans of the news world, reunited for the first time in 30 years. Listen to @DanRather and @BillKurtis1 catch up on our show this weekend!
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Thrilled to announce that our guest this week is former Labor Secretary @RBReich! We’ll ask him about making the complex seem simple, and what life is like as the only economist with 700,000 Instagram followers.
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Thrilled to announce that our guest this week is actor @WhitfordBradley of The West Wing, Get Out, and The Post. Obviously, we’ll be conducting the whole interview while walking down a seemingly endless hallway.
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For your wedding gift, we're going to hold off on saying anything sassy. We're so, so happy for you. Congratulations! nitter.app/petersagal/status/1008…
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No new show this week, because we no longer understand the world or how it works. Please send help.
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Years from now, when this election is written about in history books, they can save a lot of space by just publishing a full-page poop emoji
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“While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice...”
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It's just like the old saying goes: If the mountain of evidence very clearly fits, you must acquit
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Not to brag, but Bluff the Listener was the original #FakeNews.
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BREAKING NEWS [insert sound effect that sounds like if the THX noise went to Yale] Our guest this weekend is @CNN’s @abbydphillip! We’ll ask her about the secret to staying awake during election coverage and whether she has to fight John King to use the Magic Wall.
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No new show this week, as @petersagal was flying United and lost the mandatory knife fight, forcing him to stay in Denver.
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We’ve just landed in San Antonio and we’ve already lost @PeterSagal in a tragicly delicious queso-related drowning.
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In regards to these new Hillary-related emails, let’s not forget the real victim: The agent who had to go through Anthony Weiner’s phone.
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