I’ve decided to take my talents to a South Beach retirement home ✌🏼
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Ayres has more wins in Toronto than I do smh
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Tom gonna win his 7th ring at 43 and I can barely put my socks on.
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In the fetal position inside the net
8 years ago today. Where were you when Crosby scored the Golden Goal? 🏅
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Me to my wife: Babe when I come to Montreal I get recognized a lot Family walking towards me with big smile: Excuse me can you take a picture? Me puffing out my chest a little: See babe I told you
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This is precisely what my nightmares have looked like
This is pretty cool. Nineteen members of the 2011 Bruins are watching Game 7 of the Cup Final together on Zoom. Game's about to start up on NESN.
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Scott Foster stops that while filing his client’s tax returns
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Retirement has been great so far. Currently at a dance competition in Disney world. I get to sit and watch dance for 6 hours straight. 🆘 After that we get to go to the park and stand in line for hours 🆘🆘in the blistering heat and humidity 🆘🆘to go on a 2 min ride🆘HELP!🆘🆘🆘
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Me and Tom Brady have a combined 5 championships! #blessed
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Brought a friend to work today…..
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What a night!!!!
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Look what I found when I zoomed out a little
#Canucks leadership group for this season: Chris T🅰️nev 🅰️lex Edler Bra🅰️ndon Sutter Bo Horv🅰️t As for the captain, we'll find out soon...👀
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Trick or treat! #saltbae
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I've just decided that Reims will play ALL of the games versus the leafs this year...... #Matthews
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If I don't get one of these " it's all your fault " chants in Nashville next season I'll be super upset
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I was lucky enough to have had a chance to play with Hank and Danny for 8 seasons. Two of the greatest players of all time. The best of teammates I’ve ever had and the nicest people you’ll ever meet! They truly were great ambassadors for the game.
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I’m floored by the fact that in a two months span I went from being a fine tuned professional athlete to only wearing shorts with an elastic band.......
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Two GOATS no Cup podcast??? Think about it @hlundqvist35
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April fools???
Roberto Luongo's declining health could lead to the end of his NHL career. sportsnet.ca/hockey/nhl/robe…
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Did not sleep for one second last night cuz.....
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Make it 6! Unreal run we’ve been on
Me and Tom Brady have a combined 5 championships! #blessed
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A few thoughts on my decision bit.ly/LuongoLetterToFans
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Second worst contract in franchise history
Bieksa's coming home 🥹 Celebrate with us as Kevin Bieksa signs a one-day contract to retire from the NHL as a Vancouver Canuck. TICKETS | vancanucks.co/3rWwejb
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I banged the shit out of that drum!!!!
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NHL 3 stars of the week 1) McDavid (2 goals 4 assists) 2) Matthews (4 goals in NHL debut) 3) Luongo (Funny Tweet)
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Carbo loading
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You guys can keep laughing all you want but it won’t be so funny when I show up looking like this first day of training camp this year cuz this is totally awesome!!!
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Best line in hockey Luongo-Sedin-Sedin
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Champian!
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Took me a while to master this very difficult advanced technique......
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Kawhi already downloading Netflix movies for the flight home
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Act like you’ve been there before fk
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I seriously need to get ahold of myself moving forward
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If someone comes across Melisandre’s necklace let me know. I could really use it to squeeze a few more years outta my career #BattleForWinterfell
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After such a big night should probably consider giving them the night off tomorrow no?
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You know the boys have confidence in your goaltending skills when 3 guys line up to block a shot.....🚨🥅🚨
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2 years ago: 😰 1 year ago: 😱 Today : ☕️🐸 #NHLTradeDeadline
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New York Rangers ball looks a little heavy 🤔
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This might sound crazy but hear me out here folks. Next year what if we try styrofoam targets? #NHLAllStar
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Why do I keep letting you hurt me like this?

ALT Confused Jaguarsfan GIF

Carter Hart is the best goalie I’ve seen since I saw Carey Price for the first time
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Thank you @NHL for not scheduling any games on Halloween so we can take our kids trick or treating........
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I just burned my retina looking at game film from last year #solareclipse
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Man this panther draft pick is hitting a little too close to home 😱
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Hmmmmmmm such a tough choice man..........
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PA announcer: please keep your eyes on the puck at all times Everyone: OK Kodak: honey turn around it’s not safe
I think Kodak found something better to do at the Panthers game
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Will playoff tickets go on sale during the first or second intermission @GoldenKnights ? #VegasStrong
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Fine I’ll do it
Who would be the worst possible pick as Bruins' banner captain for game seven? I'm thinking either Ray Bourque in an Avalanche jersey or Bernard Pollard, but I'm open to ideas.
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Thank you Vancouver for a great 8 years! Really appreciative of all the support especially the last little while. I will miss the LOOO'ing!!
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WTF is that???
#Oilers fans, meet Hunter: our first-ever mascot! 😺
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Shit I'm running out of professional athletes to relate to with no championships..... #sergioooooooooooo
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If anybody finds my jock kindly return it thanks
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Respect ✊🏻 @Bucks
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Wut????
Kevin Bieksa on HNIC: “Luongo had a clause in his contract where he didn’t have to play back-to-back games on the road if he didn’t want"
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I played my whole career like the sun was shining right it my eyes don’t see what the big deal is #NHLOutdoor
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For most of my twitter followers asking......NO I was not in goal for Brasil today.......
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Man even Bartman got a ring before I did smh
WGN EXCLUSIVE: Steve Bartman to receive 2016 Chicago @Cubs World Series Championship ring via.wgntv.com/gehfW
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I’d like to select a seat symbolic of my career.....Do you have anything available behind the goal line?
Head over to @TheBBTCenter today between 10 am- 8 pm today for a Select-A-Seat Event! Pantherland will also be open. More details » bit.ly/SelectASeatJul2
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This is the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen…. Dude needs to use a spotter next time
Yaroslav Askarov gets a few reps in after a 45-save shootout victory 🤣
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🌴
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Man it would suck if these guys waited their whole lives to play in an outdoor game and then couldn't to due to unforeseen circumstances 👀
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I mean come on what are we even doing here??????
As part of Native American Heritage Night and to honor his wife, who is native, Marc-Andre Fleury had a custom-designed mask created by Cole Redhorse Taylor. Mask quotes his dad on back, has names of his kids. He’s bummed the NHL has informed him he can’t even wear in warmups
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Who dis???
Today, my friends, is my favorite day of the year.
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Without looking, if I gave you guys just one guess as to who the goalie was on this “nutty” goal.......you’d all guess right 🥜
In honor of the @NHL firing referee Tim Peel today for his hot mic incident, I'd like to play him off with his finest moment as an official when he took a puck to the nuts that ended up in the net
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Finally got my captains photo done
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As we see how precious life is and how it can be taken away from you in an instant. It is so important to take the time to listen, to care and to just be there for others especially those struggling with mental illness. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them #BellLetsTalk
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Yo @NFLDraft 30 sec per pick max. That’s how I run my fantasy drafts. You’ve either done your homework and you’re ready or you’re not.
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This was Gary's best chance to not get booed. No dice.......
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Game 1

ALT Im Ready Its Time GIF by hamlet

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Guys don't tell anyone but I'm currently deflating a few pucks for the breakaway relay.... #NHLAllStarWeekend
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When you are up in a series but lose game 5. If there is any debate about starting the other goalie it should be done in game 6. Because you can always go back to your starter in game 7. Otherwise you are left with an impossible decision #my2cents
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No sign of @ovi8 's liver at optional skate this morning...... #NHLAllStarWeekend
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My Uber driver Miguel is rocking out to his Britney Spears playlist and I’m totally here for it #itsbritneybitch
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I'm watching this pens-caps 7-7 game in the fetal position.......
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I was blowing 2 goal leads way before all the cool kids started doing it #innovator
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Anaheim Game 5, 2007
Okmulgee, Oklahoma fire crews say they had a bizarre lightning strike call at the Oxford Apartments overnight. They say lightning came through the vent in the roof and struck the toilet, shattering it. Photos from @brookegrif_tv. #okwx
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After doing the math.... If I play another 28 years I will still fall about 5-6 wins shy of tying Marty's record!
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One stop on 3 shootout attempts last night It’s like I never left!!!!
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JESUS PRICE!!!!
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Is there a team Canada over 35 I can sign up for anywhere?Kidding aside those r 3 great and well deserving goalies. Canada in great hands 🇨🇦
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Never easy seeing an ex-teammate get traded. Good luck in Vegas @Ryan_Kesler 🥴
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That’s actually a picture of me
Replying to @FlaPanthers
are we playing the dinosaurs or the panthers
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I love my @onepeloton too!!! (username: Strombone1)
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My wife just said she wouldn't kiss the trophy cuz it's flu season
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The new head coach of the @CanadiensMTL and some fans
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No state tax strikes again!
2 x $12.5M for McDavid
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End of an era
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Do I have a German son???
Tiefensee stumbles and it costs him (Credit: HeresYourReplay) nitter.app/HeresYourReplay/status…
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For the final we are pairing Leo Komarov with futur teammate @RealStamkos91....... I kid I kid #NHLAllStar
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Off the top of my head I couldn’t name you any of these trophies.....
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I can totally relate 😉
QB Lamar Jackson (cramps) is questionable to return.
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OMG @kbieksa3 just said on national broadcast that I had a clause in my contract that I was not to play double overtime games played on wednesdays. Wild........
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Replying to @TSNBobMcKenzie
@TSNBobMcKenzie NOOOO!!!!!!!!
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Congrats on an incredible career! I always remember getting a little extra amped up when I knew you were in the crease at the other end! 👑
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Anytime you add a 68 to a 1 the total will always amount to good times...... #JagrBomb
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“Daddy this ride is scary” “Don’t be scared honey I’ll protect you! You gotta be brave like daddy”
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